TRAITORS

Do you believe that Momma has been spending her time this weekend with another sort of Rex Cat, well, not just one of them but 15 of them!!! Each morning and night she has come home smelling of kittens and she tells us that they are rather cute!  Well, they can't be cuter than me... can they?  I mean what have they got that I haven't? I mean, I have charm and charisma, give just enough love for her to know that I am her man and just enough kisses not to be soppy.  So what have these Selkirk Kittens got? Well, apparently,they are speedy and funny (I can be speedy and funny). They are determined to be wild and wacky (I can be wild and wacky). They are really cute and cuddly (I am cute and cuddly). They are hungry and busy (I am greedy and busy).  I just don't see the difference?

Well, I suppose the one thing that sets us apart is that these little beasties have fur! I know they have fur, because Momma has spent the last 20mins brushing her clothes with cellotape to remove their furry little bodies... you see, I never cause this much trouble, do I?

KS =^..^=

A TRIP OF A LIFETIME

I have a new Vet, her name is Claire, she was the one who looked after Otello for us and she said that I was to visit her the very next time for my check up as my usual Vet, the lovely Katie, has had a bubba of her own!  So I went with my lips puckered up for a good old smooch.  She is a brunette and I usually go for blonds, but you know, in the smooching stakes, she was good! I had a full check up and had everything poked and prodded and apparently, it's all in the right places.  My ticker is a bit irregular, but hey, I think it was fluttering because she was tickling this and that!  Now the only thing that spoiled my whole afternoon was she said the 'FURMOMETER' word... yep, you guessed it, from puckering up one end to puckering up the other end!  I was so embarrassed, I turned bright pink and YAWPED a mighty YAWP.  She then laughed at me, this new vet of mine!!! Laughted I tell you. I was hanging over Momma's shoulder making those 'cringing' noises, sort of wimpering ashamed noises.  It was only our first date and I thought it a little forward, especially as I was being chaperoned!

Now, I am to return for a full range of blood tests in a few months, to check my ticker, my potassium, sodium, magnesium, proteins and sugars in my blood. I only just did a tinkle test and that was all good, but this one will catch any nasties.  So how well do you think I will behave on that day?  The last time I had a blood test, I sat like an Angel right up to the point where they stuck the needle in me and I wasn't worried about it and it didn't hurt because I always get my neck numbed, but I just stand up on my hindlegs and rear out of the way, it took two nurses and Momma to hold me down and a vet to poke the vein... I wonder how much trouble I can create this time?  Well, I have a few months to think up an escape plan.

My new Vet is happy with my stunning good looks, although secretly, I think she goes for a more fluffy feline.  The thing with me is, you can see every vein and lump and bump going, and being on a special diet allows everyone to see my skin reactions if I steal stuff, so I cant get away with anything at all.  I do have to say that Momma has worked very hard to get me a balanced diet that I do feel much better on and a bit fuller, because my Steroids make me ravenous I am constantly YAWPING for more, but recently, I feel more satisfied.  I still shouldn't let my guard drop though, it could be a major plan to drop my four meals a day to none..... YAWP!

KS =^..^=

BIRTHDAY SUIT

Today is Mr.Zeus's 5th Birthday.  He had quite a good day, but we didn't get a party because I have been trying to beat him up for ages now and he is so scared of me that he can't even be in the same room as me now!  It's s bit sad really, because we used to be really good mates and I really don't know what happened.  ALthough, he does try to be a bit bossy and with me not always feeling tip top in the wellness stakes and having steroids everyday - I think I am getting aggressive?

ManSlave made sure that we were all away and Mr.Zeus had the run of the house for a whole day, even though he spent most of the time looking out of the window at the top of the crows nest.  What a waste of running up and down I thought!  Lillibet came out for awhile and chased him up and down to exercise him a bit. Momma bought some special Serene-UM serum for all of us in the hope that we could all come out and be calm and relaxed and not chase him everywhere.  We also have Feliway, which is a pheromone based relaxant plug in and also some Pet Remedy sprayed in various hot spots around the home.  All of which claim that they create a subdued atmosphere with a de-stress and calming influence as well as reducing hyperactivity. 

Well let me tell you this about de-stressing lotions and potions they send us Devon Rex totally loopy.  We ran around the house for 2 hours non-stop and poor Mr.Zeus just could not take the three of us hooning about and bouncing off the walls.  He wasn't very happy, even though he had the same dose as us, in fact, the girls only had half a dose each.  I can honestly say, what would they have been like with a full dose.  We were all meant to be calm and relaxed and all it did was make us even more heightened and fast and furious. We all slept well eventually and there wasn't a peep out of anyone.  In a few weeks we have little people visiting.... I think I shall need the full bottle that night!


KS =^..^=

STUCK ON YOU

Something keeps happening to me in the cat tray.  It's a new one you see and I can't seem to get my feet out of the way when I pee and I keep peeing on my back paws.  I normally angle one back paw half way up the tray and the other is left in the cat grit, but the cat grit just isn't soaking it all up quick enough with the angle change and I get clumps stuck to my feet and come out wearing a solid grey boot or two.  I then have to shake it off or run like crazy to get rid of it. Well, yesterday in dispute of the new tray, I ran straight to the Parentals bed and rid my self of the bootie by wiping it on their Egyptian cotton sheets. As I posted on FaceBook yesterday "I am not proud of the fact that I peed on my feet. I am proud that I took the wet clumps and rubbed them off on the cream Egyptian cotton sheets. I am not proud that I had my feet washed in the sink... but I am proud that I sat on Mommas pillow to dry them off!" So there you have it in a nut shell!  Now this takes me back a year or so when something similar happened to Faith!

She was a baby, about 18weeks old, new to cat grit having come from a wood chip home.  She did the fatal thing of stepping back after she had no.2'd ::shakes head:: and promptly came to tell Momma that she, indeed, had a pooey foot and produced it for Momma to examine.  "Only one thing for that Faith" she said "a quick soapy foot wash in the sink". Being Faith's first soapy foot wash, it didn't go terribly well and all four feet, some of her tail and lots of her body also got wet! Momma went back to the accounts.... then she heard this horrific screaming and yelling from Faith.  Momma jumped up and found dear little Faith with four cat grit thigh length boots on, wailing away at the top of the stairs, she had needed a peepee and re-entered the tray with her wet legs.  Well, Faith was giving it some racket whilst Momma stood there laughing so hard at this tiny kitten stamping and screaming, that she could barely breath.  All of which ensued with another slippery bath in the sink. Ever since that day, Faith has always been a lot more careful!  I on the other hand am delighting in the fact that I am causing all sorts of trouble and will continue to pee on my feet to get attention!

KS =^..^=

BOVINE BRAVERY
The Parentals have been waiting for months for a special phone call to say 'the meat is ready' You may have noticed that there has been nothing but piggy and very odd meals in the last month, well, that is at an end... Mr Butcher rang and said that the Charolais beef was indeed ready to be sold and they proudly carried home a few steaks and a forerib. As soon as I smelt it, I was drooling.  This was on Friday and I have had to live with the fact it has been in the fridge all that time, wrapped in brown paper (with my name on it!).  Today is going to be it's cooking day and I shall make myself available to be stepped on, head butted and pushed away.  It is my duty to be everywhere at once and make the Parentals job of cooking my forerib just the way I like it, very difficult.  I know the day will en-tone with 'Oh Slinky...' but I don't mind being stepped on a few times to get what I want! They say that Meteorology is the study of the atmosphere, well, I can tell you that the atmosphere here today is electric.  All of a sudden both Women are yelling, even though Faith had just stopped and Momma is recovering the cat posts which they can't stop rubbing them selves on, Faith and Lillibet - not Momma! There is racing and jumping and bonkers behaviour and I for one am not joining in, well apart from the odd prance out of their way.  Nope, it's not for me all this whizzing about, I might miss my meat moment.


So, because I like to Orb Worship and weather watch and meat watch - does that mean I am a Meteorologist or a Meat-eorologist? I shall take a nap and think about it.

KS =^.^=

WONDER LUST
At last, peace and quiet in the house.  Faith has stopped yelling and gone back to being my 'silent partner'.  What's this new din?  Aggghhhhhh it's LILLIBET!!

If she is not sitting on my head, rolling around the floor or balancing on tippy toes trying to get my attention she is in with her Uncle, Mr.Zeus, and we all know that is a bit rude, but I tell you what... silence from both of them! Mr.Zeus has been sent to Coventry by all of us now, except Lillibet, who he 'tolerates'. Faith won't have him in the house any more and I am beside myself with fury when he growls at me and a huge fight ensues, so the poor berated chap is mostly in the kitten room on his own. Each day though, the Parentals take him outside and let him have a few ours 'watching birdies' from the safety of the office. So he is not totally devoid of things to do... I did notice though, that his waste line is a little fuller from not being chased and thrashed all the time!

So, to this chocolate drop kitten! Just look at the way she flounces about in MY Orb Pools?  There are never many, but she has the monopoly on everything.  We thought Faith was pushy and spoiled, but this one has twice the strength of her Mother and never takes no for an answer.  She is determined and spirited, where Faith is more 'delicate' shall we say and 'Queen' like.  Lillibet is just one spoiled Princess! Don't kiss me, kiss me, don't touch me, touch me, don't wash my ears out, wash my ears out.  Seriously, I don't know if I am coming or going. And poor Mr. Zeus is in the same boat, she strolls in, eats his food, takes his bed and he is left wondering what to do?  She is a proper little minx.  She is never mean, just downright pushy, but ever so, ever so cute!  ManSlave struggles to hold her and she wails like her legs are being pulled off and when Momma kisses her she wails and wails, but all the time rumbling with gigantic purrs that wrack her body and make her fall over - in honesty, I don't think she knows her own mind, so how the heck are we to guess?

KS =^..^= 

SHARING THE BLAME

It was only Thursday that I mentioned on Facebook that I had failed in my duties as an Orb Worshiper and then I had a number of posts actually blaming me for the amount of damps, not just here in the UK, but all over the World!  "I Have broad shoulders" I said, "I can take it" and then promptly spent the following day Orb Worshiping like a crazy thing to make sure that at least some of the World had sun.  I think I Worshiped a little too hard as the temperature in Ylitornio, Lapland yesterday was 29 degrees the highest temperature ever recorded in May.  Next, I will be blamed for Global Warming... well anything is warmer than the Ice Age and I sure wasn't around then so can't get the blame for that.... can I?

All this Orbtastic conversation has lured me away from the already penetrating smell of a little piece of Saddleback cooking away.  I know some veggies among you feel that my meat antics are cruel and mean, well I can tell you first hand that the Parentals only purchase free range meat and all sourced locally or in the case of the Lamb...WALES (my first home and that of the Parentals!) The thought of little piggies roaming the Orchards in the Summer & Autumn months and then all tucked up in deep straw beds in winter makes me comforted that the smell I can smell now is one of a truly, if once happy, pig.  Now, usually we don't get to taste the piggie, the piece is that small I can barely see it in the oven and the light is faulty and it's hidden in the depths of the roasting tin.  If I stretch up onto the oven and place my paws on the handle, I could use my weight to drag it down, but alas the hinges are outsmarting me... I need an accomplice.... Oh Lillibet, come here love and pull on this tea towel whilst I dangle in and reach for the piggie.  She is having none of it, she doesn't want the blame and no reward... shucks, she is growing up!

KS =^..^=