It's not me I feel sorry for on tooth cleaning day, it's Faith and Lillibet.  They wander about all day with a false white smile on their faces.  The special toothpaste is white and it leaves very unsightly white marks like the voodoo queens of New Orleans or such like.  Their fake smiles follow me about like the Cheshire Cat.  Not me, I get my licker out and the toothpase is gone, it tastes of liver pate, not that I eat a lot of liver pate but the odd time I have licked a plate or knife in the sink with it on, that's what it tasted like!

Faith is THE worst patient for toothpaste day. She struggles and twists and screams and yells, claws out to catch Momma and paddling furiously with her hind legs.  Momma wraps her  in a blankie, but she just vanishes from it like a whirlwind, contorting her body inside out so that Momma is scrubbing away at the falling orifice only to find it is totally the wrong end of the hairy bundle.  I look of surprise appears on Faith's face as she slithers out into daylight, her false smile making a mockery of her true feelings of hurt on both counts! 

I am next naughty cat in line.  I am a twister and turner, but more of a thinker during proceedings and do like the taste of it, so only half heatedly fight with my front feet, catching my claws in Momma's wedding ring and hanging there whilst she scubs away at my filthy yellow molars, sliding around in circles on the kitchen table with my back claws stuck securely in the blankie.  I have had yellow teeth since a nice vet gave me Oxy when I was growing my new adult teeth and there, ruined for life. I very rarely smile except for perhaps Simon the vet!  

Lillibet is somewhat perplexed at the whole teeth thing and every week she forgets it happening.  She goes into her voodoo world and starts chanting and closes her eyes and wails out loud, the toothpaste bubbling at the sides of her mouth like spittle.  All this time, during the wailing, there is purring?  I have never in all my life figured out how to Yawp and purr at the same time?  But Lillibet manages it.  And even with all of this noise and bravado, she hasn't moved a muscle on the soft blankie, and is sat in the same place as she started. She is lowered to the ground and her Voodoo smile is like a strange grin that suits Lillibet's 'specialness'.

Gracie is always good, she is like a model student.  She allows anything to be done to her really.  She just flops and goes extra heavy in Momma's arms. Laying her gently on the blankie, Momma lifts up her lips and inserts the tiny toothbrush.  Gracie shuts hers eyes, jaw jagging slightly with the push and pull rhythm of the brush going back and forth.  She allows it all to happen around her. Then it's time to be flipped over and scrubbed on the other side.  She catches sight of Flaire... ooops, Momma has a growling snapping fish on her line now and covers Gracie's eyes and shoos Flaire away.  Gracie relaxes and gives in to the inevitable.  Such a show off.  Ironically, Gracie looks clean for the first time in weeks.  The toothpaste has whitened her lilac 'marks' around her mouth that make her look like she has been rummaging through the bins (I say nothing) and she gleams her ultra white smile at us all, flashing her gnashes especially to her daughter who laughs in her face.  heaven help us.

Flaire is swept up just as Gracie pounces for her and misses and tongue stuck out at right angles she is subjected to baby teeth cleaning.  This is where Momma just lifts your lips up and pokes about with her finger a bit and then gives you the toothbrush to play with, allowing you to take it to your mouth to taste, then you get a mild flick of it here and there and then a little toothpaste to try. Mmm, Flaire likes it too.  She likes it so much she is nudging the tube like a baby cat for milky.  Well at least that is two our of 5 that are well behaved.  Wonder just how long that will last before she catches on and realises that Friday is tooth day and don't you get the fact, little cat, that the water in this house tastes different - yep - it's contaminated with tooth decay stuff to combat nasty niffs and help to reduce plaque.  That's why we drink from the Parentals mugs, glasses and sinks! 

Thinks before you drinks!

KS =^..^=

CatWomen get everything and I have been driving everyone mad including myself.  I am winding up the entire house on a whi of being fed or really in search of attention.  It has been going on for months now and there is nothing that Momma does that changes my outlook.  So in a fit of desperation ManSlave deposited a yelling Gracie and me outside in the House of Fun.  Gracie is growling at everyone and being so grumpy that the day is filled with her growling and me yelling.  It was meant to be restbite for everyone. 

So yesterday, Momma goes out to the HoF and finds a sweet smelling yuckiness and hunts down a blanket on a chair and under the chair is a sticky yellow substance.  Now, we have a tray out there and really whoever is caught short out there should use it. right?  Well I blame Gracie, after all, she is the one yelling for boys and confused in the head about where to pee sometimes, well OK, twice when she was a kitten!  So immediately the blame lie with her.  "Why do I have to be out here will miss grumbly piddle pants for a few hours a day?" I yell to anyone in the neighbourhood who can hear me.  I put a stud cat to shame with my yelling voice.

Well, Momma was mortified to find a poop under the table outside in the run?  "What the heck is going on here?" she shouts at both of us?  Neither of us care and I purr for good measure.  Because ManSlave has been caring for us, his nose is blocked all the time from tree flowers and dust, so he missed it, but Momma claims there was at least two or three days worth - the same amount of days we have been out here.  Ho hum.  The Parentals are stupid, they will never find out which one of us is doing it and anyway, Gracie has had a Chocolate Gold accident too. So my bet is her.

What's this... The IT camera is moving.  OMC!  Stop peeing - STOP!  I can't.  It's flowing angrily out of my person and onto the new clean rug and dripping through the fleece and through the plastic wicker chair and onto the floor.  I have been caught on camera!  It's me. I am the culprit.  I REFUSE to be kept outside like an ANIMAL even if only for a few hours and I am showing my discontent by peeing and number twoing when the motion takes me.  Uncle Paul used to complain about me leaving Chocolate Gold on the bath mat when the Parentals took a holiday. Every first day I would leave him a little gift to show how miserable I was.  But no one ever proved it, only my food is a different colour to everyone elses so I guess it was obvious.  The Parentals are even more mad at me and they can't look at me today.  I think I know why, but I don't change at all, still yawping as though I own the world and everything in it.

Oh no... NO.  MOMMA! NO I SAY! YAWP.  Stop with the kissing thing.  I mean, every time I YAWP Momma plucks me from my perch, detaching my velcro feet and kissing my sweaty belly to make me stop making such a din.  This tickles AND it's embarrassing.  Now I am going to purr as well.  Oh no.  This is not right.  but at least I am getting attenntion even if it's not the type I am after and believe me, there is nothing more Yawp stopping than being exposed in front of your pride, upside down and having raspberries blown on your belly.  OK OK. I give in. I will go and sit on the fridge and not make a sound. But don't put me back outside or I shall leave you more than a gift this time!

​KS =^..^=  

You gotta have a proper brag about show days, especially if you win something.  Flaire won a red rosette with bright orange bits!  It's very fancy and tells everyone she is 5th best kitten.  Oh how she paraded her self around the lounge when she got home.

Show days are early starts and Momma wakes Flaire up at 5am to make sure she has eaten and used the kitty litter.  Once that bit is done, she has her bud re-sparkled and chin checked and any grease rubbed off her tummy with yummy blue soap.  She is then powdered in the delicate areas and around her face to hide any imperfections.  It's all about dressing up for this American TICA style show. You have to look your best as well as have good type and interest the judges.  

It was her first show and she did ever so well.  It is a different format that Maystar are used to and this time there was 8 rings and a special class.  That's 8 separate judges and there were 21 all breed kittens in Flaire's class.  In the first ring she was so well behaved and grown up, sitting in her allocated pen waiting for a judge to collect her.  She had a bit too much powder on her belly and the first French judge sneered when she found it on Flaire's private parts!  Really, did she have to look there?  I mean how ROOD!

She enjoyed eating her noms, that wasn't an issue at all and had quite an appetite for it which is good on a show day, you gotta keep your strength and fluids up!  She lay very happily in her colour matched bedding with her favourite toy 'Ratty'.  Momma brought her a new toy, but she wan't awe struck with hi at all.  Poor red crab.  Never to have friends.  Momma also brought a chicken on a wiggle stick.  This kept Flaire busy when being carried from one Judge to another.  

With 8 rings to do, it takes all day to get around them.  It's all very busy with people and cats walking everywhere. In each ring a number of cats are judges, Flaire is just a kitten, so she went in baby classes with lots of other really lovely short haired cats.  Then you get given a best in division and a best colour earning you 25 points if you win both.  If you get a Best of Breed too it is quite an achievement.  Flaire got 8 best of colour and divisions and 8 best of breeds!  She was flying.  Then, the judge pick his or her final cats. Sometimes there are 10 and sometimes just 5 depending on numbers.  Flaire was in a small class of 21 so it was just 5 places and she lost out 7 times but finalled with one of the judges making her 5th best kitten.  
The judge said she was very pretty, had a lovely wide chest and chose her because she looked just like a devon rex should.  Lovely coat, head and body and she gave Flaire a big hug too.  Hugs are so nice.  It shows the judges really enjoy their job.  It is very difficult for them and quite a challenge with some owners taking it personally if their kitty loses.  That is a real shame.  Momma thinks every thing should be rewarded and on her return to the safety of the CatPod, Flaire got freeze dried ducky treats and some playtime with ratty.  Lots of fuss and nice things before more powder and touch ups and out to a further class.  

I am glad I don't go showing anymore. I would hate all that fuss and bother and especially all those baths before hand - although I would be partial to a bit of smooching with the lady judges.  Now that could tempt me. 

​KS =^..^=

It makes my tummy rumble just thinking about Noms arriving.  Momma gets a message to say when it will get here.  We can all wait in then and not miss it.  The delivery driver is not our usual one, it tells Momma it's our friend Cedric, but Cedric has sold his deliveries to someone else and he isn't as cooperative as Cedric and never helps Momma bring the box in. That's door step delivery for you!  Pfft.  Momma ties a rope between the green straps and drags it into the lounge and here we take great delight in opening it.  

I have waited all morning for this and have been up at the window making it greasy with my sniffer and paws.  I am first to the box and ride on top adding extra weight to the box.  Momma swears at me, so I entice Flaire to join me and make it even more difficult.  We laugh at her expense.  Well.  She hasn't been to the gym for some weeks now, it will do her good!

Gracie loves the green ties that hold our box together.  She would rather play with those than anything else, but then, what's this?  A free toy!  Oh yeah.  I thwak it once, that's my lot, then I run like a mad cat up and down the scratch post and out into the kitchen and back - the excitement is too much - I am exhausted already and sit patiently wondering if my Noms is in there.  It's not?  WHAT! YAWP!  Where is my noms?  It seems that I didn't need it in this order at all and all this stuff is for CatWomen. DOUBLE YAWP! That's it. I am going to sulk.

It all looks new too?  This is all different.  The brand has changed?  Grain Free turkey kibble?  Really, since when?  The CatWomen eat Sanabelle normally or Porta 21. But someone in the family is like me - grain and dairy free - that will be Flaire then!  She has her own food - I have mine and the CatWomen are now eating James Wellbeloved Turkey because Gracie won't eat chicken variety anymore and just walks off but this JWB stuff she really chows down on.  She liked the Sanabelle one, but it had chicken and Flaire gets itchy on chicken too. Sigh.  We are all a real pain where food is concerned.  

This free toy is causing a stir.  What fun watching the others run about and chase the feather toy. Trying to carry it away.  Momma plays hide and seek with it and Flaire finds it every time, she is one smart kit that one!  Nothing gets past her quick mind.  I shall have to take her under my wing and put her into stealth training for grabbing food from plates and stuff like that.  Although bin stealing is out of the question now that parentals changed it.  They trialed one of these expensive bins that you wave your paw over and it opens on a whim.  Oh yes, that lasted a day here. I was lowering Gracie in to retrieve a chicken carcass when we were caught out and I dropped her. I magically waved my paw over the sensor and hid her from view but her screams gave it away.  She was SO mad at me and Momma said the bin was going back because 'I' couldn't be trusted.  Pfft.  You think you can out smart us cats but we are so much smarter than you will ever know.

As for Gracie, she is none the worse for ware.  Grumbling that her whites are covered in tomato sauce from some sardine juice.  That's alright honey. Snuggle up. Uncle Slinky wsh that off for you.

KS =^..^=

Off we go again, a trip to a different part of Wales this time.  It was much closer with only two hours traveling, but already I am getting wound up with being in with Gracie and even though we all used the kitty litter before we left home, i can make such a noise that I am let out for fear of Gracie swimming in something.  I nip to the back of the car, have my pee, which I have to say is much more private now we are being followed by Amara the Caravan and not some rugged Yorkie eating trucker.  I race forwards, checking out the cars and lorries on each side and make my way to Momma who relents and allows me to sit up front. She isn't as able to hold me on her lap like the past, so i have to slide my big butt to the side and not put too much weight on her spine. Well, I am 4.5K and quite a King Cat!

The first thing we all do after the Parentals unpack the car is race from window to window in Amara and see where we are.  This looks like a working farm?  This is strange, not a field like last time?  Nope this is definitely a home.  Amara is hard to steady today, we are on an incline and ManSlave has to work hard to level her up so our kibble doesn't roll away.  But finally it is done before the weather closes in.  A storm is coming. YIKES!  

It seems we are at Momma's Sisters house and Sister M comes in for a visit to meet us all.  Some of us were not around when they came to stay before at our house.  Sister M admires us and strokes us and I even try giving her a head butt.  But really she is a dog person and Brother R is a sheep and dairy man but a wizz with a tractor and he parks his giant tractor next to Amara so we don't get a headwind during the storm.  Blocked our view of the lambs in the field mind you so we put up with watching the sheep dogs lounging on the sofa whilst their Parentals were out... MOL

It was much warmer in the van at night because ManSlave had installed a new fire and Momma had packed the windows and doors with silver bubble film insulation.  We didn't all have to climb on top of Momma in the night to keep warm, we could lounge on the top bunk soaking up the warm air.  Now that we are not using the gas fire - it's toasty with the vents closed!  No one could walk on the floor before, it was freezing. Brrr.  

Well, it's nearly time for the off. We have had another adventure and it's not so bad. We all get on for a few days and now we can walk on the floor we can use the en-suite and not hold it all in and go on the journey home.  We didn't stop off anywhere this time.  It was for a flying visit as they say and although the Parentals got in a bit of sight seeing, we were just happy to lay in the sun when it came out and watch the birdies in the farm yard and watch the funny dog chase his tail because he couldn't get to us.  We blew rasberries at him through the windows and Lillibet ran from place to place following him around the van.  She is a mad one too.  

When we went to set off. Lillibet was missing. Everything was packed up and the Parentals were searching all over the van.  She had jumped into the bathroom cabinet all morning but wasn't in there, nope, she had got into the wardrobe and was having great fun exploring the extra storage area under that in among chairs and tables and bedding.  She is one crazy gal always after an adventure. Unlike me - I like to be yawping and telling everyone what to do!

KS =^..^=