After Mae's very exciting debut at the Supreme Cat Show this year it has all been go go go here at Maystar HQ.  No sooner had Momma and Mae's paws hit the floor than all hell broke loose.  This time it wasn't me it was Lillibet!  Well, she had this tickle in her bladder the day before the show and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't pee and what she did manage to pee was a bit foul smelling.  Momma was on it, we have an emergency one weeks supply of BLADDER AID KIT for just such issues and as much as it pained Momma to open and use it, Lillibet needed urgent help. 

Out with the cystease to reduce stress, the antibiotics to stop the stinky smell, the metacam to help her with discomfort and finally, Momma's secret weapon L-Methionine.  Now the last ingredient, given at the correct daily cat dose really does work wonders for those of us with Struvite issues.  It is not a veterinary product and the reason for that is Methionine does can prevent the formation of struvite stones which are caused by an overly high alkaline content in the urine, however, too much and the bladder stones can oxylate causing more damage than good.   It is a very finite amount but I can tell you from MY PURRSONAL experiance, nothing on this earth works better for us pussers than this magic ingredient for 3 days only in emergency situations!  There is a nasty paste you can buy with it in, but it's a trace ingredient and has never worked AND we HATE it...not ATE it!!

So, after 7 days of this and that, Lillibet was back to normal, only for Flaire to have a major chin enlargement.  At first, we thought she had been to have collagen put in it to make it stronger and more jutty, but then it grew and grew out of control and she had to visit Vet Maria at Broad Lane to get antibiotics and Metacam.  Can you see the irony of this having just used up the emergency BLADDER AID KIT.  Vet Maria thinks a claw caught her and infected her lips and chin, I still believe she had her 'lips done' and it went wrong.  ManSlave and her are always smooching and she is a glamour puss!  Now a week on from that and she is now all better.  Well, she 'was' until she realised that the lovely food she had been offered being poorly and unable to eat kibble was much better for her and refused even that point blank this morning making Momma go out and buy little tuna packets for her...sigh... She really is a drama queen.

In between Lillibet and Flaire's dramas, Eros had a little drama of his own.  Momma had a snap decision to neuter him!  OUTCHIE!  I mean why Momma.  Well, Eros is a super happy friendly little chap, he can be a bit of a jack ass to me, but on the whole, he is pliable. Recently, with all his testosterone influx, he just couldn't concentrate on anything but his furry dice.  This lead to him making himself quite ill with sickness and also a dodgy belly because he just would't eat properly.  He would heave and nothing came up because his tummy was empty and whatever he did eat had no good bacteria to feast on and came out swiftly.  Momma tried all the pastes with good bacteria in and synbiotic DC for real emergencies and still he wavered about getting thinner and thinner.  His coat was rubbish and lost it's marshmallow feel too.  Momma booked him in for blood tests then cancelled and sent off poop samples instead to the lab just in case she had missed something under her microscope and nothing came back.  That's it! There is nothing wrong with him, just hormones.

A week on and already he is eating much better and has finally made it past 3k.  He is asking for food and despite his wee still being very potent, he doesn't care about the sex bit, which is odd given the short time frame, but I guess his pompoms hurt so badly for 4 days all he did was sleep and eat and this set his tummy straight again and food became his first thought rather than his last.  Finally, some sense out of him and hopefully a happy boy in the future.  Folks have asked why we didn't give him the NEUTER-UM chip.  Well, Suprelorin firstly increases the sex drive 10 fold, especially in the boys.  This usually increases spraying to a crazy amount and the hunting of girls is in overdrive.  Sadly, Momma just couldn't take the risk of making him even more unhappy and a happy cat is paramount.  Never mind, he can stay and be a daft snuggle puss and a good playmate for Mae & Gazoo who love him so much. 

I had a breathing fit last night, it was my fault, I ate a fish flavoured kibble that got flicked onto the floor by Mae.  It was  gone down the little red lane and within 10 minutes I was flailing about on the carpet with Momma holding my head straight and massaging my throat where it spasms.  Then i had more antihistamines... h=gag, they are SO bitter!!  Besides this one little episode, I have been pretty good and have been awarded the great position of sleeping back in with momma, pressed right into her side all night, only growling if she moves all because Eros lost his pompoms.  Gazoo obviously is still sleeping with Momma and is most put out that i have been swapped with Eros so he can eat with out miss snuffle guts getting in on the act.  That Gazoo brought in milky for him when he returned from the vets.  They have been separated for their own good!  For me, it is the elixir of life to sleep next to Momma every night.  

Just to touch on why I don't usually sleep with her, well, I kept peeing in her bed!  Herrumph.  So I am on a trial basis and I have been practicing my pelvic floor exercises as we all know that darned stinging cystitis is a real biatch when it comes to holding your water. 

So talking of water, it has rained buckets here and our pet Pigeon, aptly named Pidge, has been after a pair of wading boots.  She is a definitely not a duck but frequents the puddles in the garden like one.  I am worried her feet may rot off.  Some mean bloke pigeon has been grabbing the back of her head and pulling all her feathers out, I mean, it's Autumn people, baby birds are made in spring!  Poor Pige is at a total loss being slapped about like this and has now taken to hiding under the garden chair away from her adversary.  ManSlave now feeds her under there and she can keep a little dryer too.  The Horraces don't seem to mind it and ManSlave has reminded himself that we need more wood chips as they are getting muddy footprints all over our new catio roof.  Momma suggested rubber chips but ManSlave said it would be like a giant trampoline and there would be Horraces catapulted into every garden.  

Our mundane lives go on.... much love from Queen Vee =^..^=

Well hello there QV followers.  It has been many many months since I have managed to get Momma to sit down and help me type out my thoughts and what better time than now when our sweet Mae has been out to the fancy pants show - THE SUPREME CAT SHOW.  It's a bit like crufts but much quieter and the floors vibrate with purring. 

Mae is 18months old and has never been to a show before, because of this, she didn't actually qualify to by judged, so Momma thought it would be nice to take her on exhibition instead, especially as the theme this year was THE CROWN JEWELS and with all of us named after Kings & Queens it was a temptation too far.  Of course, Momma took it very seriously and made the entire Jewel Tower, miniature, Jewels, the Coronation Chair & Robes as well as the Bible.  It was ALL from recycled cat food packets for the bunting, food trays to make the tiny crown, a langfords feline test swab was sculptured into a Scepter as well as cat food boxes and delivery boxes used to make the big crows, the towers, floors etc.  Momma even dressed up too as a Yeoman of the Guard who protect the Crown Jewels.  Despite all this hard effort, Maystar didn't get a look in at the best decorated pen as there were so many other interesting pens that caught the judges attention. 

Mae was exceptionally well behaved, despite screaming so loudly all the way there in her new pink Sturdi carrier that Miss Boucles gave Momma for helping with a poorly kitten a few months back.   She was happy to meet little people with chatting and purring allowing them to stroke her magnificent coat.  She did a full 2hr stint of chatting and purring then had an hour off and then she was happy to resume being petted and fussed.  Lots of folks tried on the Crowns and took so many photos and videos of Mae in her special throne room. 

Momma and Mae are pretty exhausted now and as we type this, Mae is ensconced by the radiator in a deep sleep and I am trying not to be a naughty girl and poke her awake.  I was so excited when Momma woke up this morning and danced up and down the windowsill squeaking away and doing 'reary horse' maneuvers and generally being really cute.  I am trying to persuade her after this to take me up to bed for a snuggle.

Just a short update on me, I had a very annoying bladder infection with struvite crystals.  The vets tried and tried to take urine samples and it cost Momma so much money and they couldn't get one.  Momma took matters into her own paws and solved the problem on her own.  I still have my food allergies to contend with and am now on a fully wet diet of rabbit only tins which are exceptionally expensive and hard to source.  I am finally feeling much happier and with less soreness to my skin.   Momma looks after me so very well and even though I hate taking my antihistamine daily, I still do it with a sweet manner. 

A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who turned up at the Supreme Cat Show to meet and greet Mae.  I hope you all enjoyed your visit with Maystar Devon Rex. 

​Love from Queen Vee. =^..^=   

Since the days of King Slinky, everything has been locked away that relates to us Rex.  We have designated cupboards which are locked from our prying paws.  We have mastered most devices that have been placed on the doors to keep us out though until a month ago when Momma started using hair bands figure of eight style around the knobs and bingo, our great break in attempts were thwarted.  However, being purrsistant and devious, Flaire and Mae have managed to undo even that contraption which allows us access to the treats within.  She sends Mae, who is small and nimble into the dizzying heights of the top shelf to source out packets of treats and throw them down.  

Momma cottoned onto the fact that this had been happening as ManSlave was always complaining that Mr Elton's snacks were missing.... How odd?  Hmmm, on closer inspection of the cardboard makeshift castle under the kitchen table, packets, upon packets of ducky treats were found chewed and all the snack gone.  That put an end to hair ties closing the doors.  So this week, there has been a new lock - SHRIMPAGE!

Not two days later and ManSlave is highly perplexed at a newfangled contraption stitching our doors closed, so much so he couldn't gain entry to his cereal boxes and had to ask me how to undo it.  I show him....  "You see that red and yellow toy prawn with it's antennae eaten off?" I mewl at him smacking my paw at the Prawn.  "Well, you get him by his tail and poke his head through that loop twice."  He does it and the shrimp gets tighter and it's face contorts into a pinch, the prawn, not ManSlave. "Not that way dummy, we tried that way.  You poke him the other way.  There, that's it, you are doing it."  It becomes slack and I tap it again and cry out "Now unhook the yellow elastic and you are in and beyond that the treats lie."  He opens the cupboard, retrieves his box of oats and quick as a flash Mae is in it's place poking about on the top shelf.  ManSlave blindly shuts the door and replaces the shrimp AND DOESN@T GIVE ME A TREAT.  I shall be sick on the floor later to 'attract' his socked foot to!!!!

Ten minutes later there is a banging at the door and there we all are, humming up at the cupboard for Mae to be released.  Flaire tries the shrimp, she twists him too far and his head looks fit to pop off but the banging stops.  Has she run out of air in there?  Nope, it's OK, it's the shrimp keeping the doors tightly closed.  We look aver at ManSlave, he is just ploughing through his oats and reading the paper.  We are not sure how much longer she can survive in there on her own.  Flaire goes over, plonks herself on his paper and we all begin to hum louder and ManSlave takes notice.  He stands up, scratches his head, takes a step towards us, places his bowl down, rubs his tummy and decides another small portion of oats won't hurt.  He fights again with the shrimp, who by this time is feeling quite dizzy, and opens the door.   

Mae parkours from the top shelf over ManSlaves shoulder and around the kitchen at high speed, twisting, flipping and bouncing everywhere.  Obviously too many E-numbers in those treats!! ManSlave is taken aback and actually 'checks' the inside of the cupboard in case any more of us appear out of cereal boxes? Thankfully, he is satisfied and forgets to have another serving of oats and neither do any of us GET A TREAT!!!  We are keeping his mind sharp as a tack don't you know - that, or sending him slowly mad....

Yesterday, ManSlave went out hunter gathering and brought us home a free range chicken.  Not out usual Red Legged Leicester as the breeders slowed down when the bird flu was rife.  So he chased this one around Morrisons apparently and subdued it in the snacks isle.  I shall keep a close eye on it in our hot box in case it does a Mae and begins an athletic jaunt about the kitchen. This wee beastie is mine and I shall keep my paw on it's progress throughout the day. It's browning body gives me quite the bird buzz.  Don't worry, there are carrots, green beans, potatoes and tiny Brussels for the faint hearted.  

I shall bid thine fare-thee-well and have a wonderful Mothering Sunday to all my lovely ladies out there.  Your Queen Vee =^..^=
​

This week has been exceptionally dull with a capital D!  Momma did a dumb thing and did too much exercise and hurt her back by 'turning over in bed'!  I mean, come on...who does that?  I wish I had been there to see it, it would have made me a bit giggly watching her writhe about.  There wasn't long to wait as ManSlave ordered her to STAY PUT and we were put on Nurse Duty and I had her all to myself in a big double bed for all of a few hours until everyone cottoned on.  She couldn't bend her neck to kiss me so i made sure she knew I loved her and stood square on her chest and gave her a face massage with my whisker pads and vibrated my healing energy right into her scull.  I am sure this is what makes her feel better despite the fact she was gasping for breath. 

Flaire was next to join us after making a huge racket dragging a wiggly worm toy, complete with fishing line and rod into the bedroom to 'gather the troupes',  After muffled mewling like a Mummy cat, Wormie dangling from her mouth, she took her place next to me and we snoozed and kept the bed warm.  Gazoo made her comfort on the stool, precariously balanced front legs outstretched on a heap of newly folded bed sheets atop a box which was later to tumble off and leave her scrabbling like a rock climber on Everest. Her crampons dug deep and she managed to gain purchase and carry on her somewhat uncomfortable nap.  

Eros and Mae were relegated to the bottom half of the bed, they are the youngest and the top section, 'near Momma' is held only by the toppity toppiest of Rex and Flaire and I earn that position.  We 'allow' them to be on the bed and a look can shift them off if they get too silly and boisterous.  However, this particular day has them relaxed and sedate after copious amounts of chase through the house.  All you can see is a flash of blue followed by a flash of cream then on the return journey, a flash of cream followed by a flash of blue then a tumbling, twining and usually screeching ball of fur rolling about on the floor. 

Faith joined Momma on the first day and lay, squished up to her so that no one else could even slide their library card between them and we all had to shuffle down a tad so as not to get laid on.  She is a bit of a Brahma when it comes to her space and hisses right in your face and you move, just like that, no questions asked.  On the second day of resting, Faith and Lillibet joined ManSlave in the lounge as they felt sorry for him having been devoid of the company of any cats.  Now we can't have that now, can we?

By huge surprise, mainly as she is known to have a tinky winky on the carpet, was SaBreena joining us.  She crept in, asked Momma politely if she may stay and spent the first half of the day on the windowsill watching the snow fall and the other half at the bottom of the bed with the the youngsters.  That took some courage on her part and much grumbling and huffing until everyone stopped staring.  She finally settled and snoozed happily with us all.  It was such a rare occasion that anyone passing her had to have a little sniff.  I think it is the first time since she had her last litter of kittens that she has made any effort to be part of the family.  She is usually very aloof and spends her days watching Horrible Horraces in the garden.

After a week of much the same I must say it's been very quiet.  I did muster up a small puddle of sick ready to surprise ManSlave's sock, but he managed to not step in it once, nor did he notice the floor coloured pile for some days until it dried to a crisp and then it got stuck to his sock.  By then, the joke was lost and it paled into insignificance. 

Momma is finally up and about, so we are being naughty again, fighting, pushing, shoving, vying for attention.  LOOK AT ME...LOOK AT ME...... She always makes life more exciting and we get fresh toys and beds are washed and life resumes.  Today is a regular Sunday.  Bed changing, vacuuming and lunch in the oven.  For speed and ease, she dug into the freezer for short ribs and quality root veg.  We shall wait some time until it all turns silky and delectable. Will we get any?  Probably not, but if Faith, Lillibet and I sit quietly on the arm of her chair whilst she eats it, we may get a finger-full of gravy each.

Until then, we are causing mischief in the office.  My space has been taken up by Faith, Momma's right hand girl today, on my blankie by the computer.  I am having to throw my ideas from across the office.  Luckily, we had a mid morning mind meld and most of my ideas were sent then.  Mae and Eros are into the recycling bins.  They are currently empty and providing free entertainment as they crash from one to the other.  Elton can be heard through the open window yelling his Sunday sermon to the neighbourhood.   Lillibet has the sun spot by the window and is swearing at anyone who ventures anywhere near it.  Gazoo is falling about the place on her head, slithering around the bins with the youngsters and very strangely back in call despite the NEUTER-UM chip?  SaBreena nips in and out, smiles at Momma and trills her tail then potters off.  Flaire is with ManSlave, sucking up and helping him read the Sunday papers by sitting on them. 

So as you see, all has returned to normality and normal business resumes.  Until next week folks.  Be good to each other.  Your loyal Queen Vee =^..^=

Us cats purr to show that all is well with our little lives. We purr when we are hungry, when we are loving our humans and to self sooth falling into a kitten like stupor reminding us of suckling our own Mummy cats at the milky bar.  We can purr if we are injured or in pain, or we can just bite you to let you know 'that's sore.'  

I have a special rumble like a matriarchal elephant, deep and meaningful.  I like to increase tempo with food offerings but mainly I save my purrs for Momma.  As I sit here and type this with her and watch the cursor trip across the page as my thoughts flow from my hippocampus to hers, I increase my purrage so that she has to look at me.  I turn my body from the angle poise lamp to face her, lift my head to catch the light and make our sniffers align and then a short mind meld..  My purr increases to a funny wheezing triple purr where the 'in and out' breath both play different notes and she is mesmerized by me.  It is right now that I swipe my inner lip across the tip of her sniffer and leave my scent on her.  She invariably will open her mouth in a gasp (or coo) and it is NOW that I poke my muzzle into her grub hole and rev up my engine and let the full force of my purr vibrate her entire head with a fantastic reverb.  The timing has to be exact and once it is done, she is mine forever and we can keep on kissing and creating our written works together - as one. 

Some of us here at Maystar HQ are a little harder to 'get going' and Flaire is one of those special girls.  She is ManSlave's girlfriend but Momma has to play 'tease' before he gets cuddles with her. She likes a little botty smack and ear munches, then she begins to mewl and trots over to her man and rumbles away.   If her purr should accidentally stall, she races over to Momma again for a quick fire botty slap and ear munch and she is off again, round and around his head, wiping her dense coat all over his face, increasing his allergies. She is happy then to lay on his lap and gently simmers to a low vibration. 

Eros has no trouble purring.  His software had a upgrade and the purr switch was selected to on with no way to turn it off.  It is very sweet really despite being the annoying little bar-steward that chasing us.  When you finally catch him, pin him down, the little git purrs and you end up washing his face and nibbling off a few whiskers for good measure.   Being of the same Family, Elton can purr so loudly with a very manly rumble that he occasionally open mouth purrs for a louder variation.  This is also done whilst eating...I mean, who purrs and eats? How does he not choke?  Those two are like a pair on tuning forks, touch them on the head and away they go...

Mae is a lovely purrer.  She is a very serious Rex, and can be sat there with mission on her face but if she is touched, she melts into a puddle of a blue and white rumbling mess.  She is a funny quirky kid that one and has lots of bizarre habits such as appearing, as if from nowhere, when the water is run from the fridge..  She runs straight up ManSlaves legs and waits for him to give her, HIS glass of water!  The even funnier thing is she purrs whilst she drinks it and the sound reverberates around the glass and causes an echo to bounce back and she gets a mini sonic purrboom in her face. 

Lillibet purrs in only a few places in the house.  The bathroom wash bin, the second radiator bed, the office desk and the en-suite toilet.  She is the oddest of catwomen, always dashing at full speed everywhere or just floating like a Tibetan monk, in the office.  But her purr is enough to start a landslide and can be heard in Ohio where she is accidentally unearthing dinosaurs.  Faith is more sedate, gentle and princess-like and only purrs if 'you' deserve it!

SaBreena, despite her odd behaviour of lone wolf, purrs at the touch of her coat and will continue long into the evening where she will allow tummy kisses and have her purr felt through Momma's face.  Woe betide ManSlave if her kisses her belly -SUCKFACE - with her claws!!! Her Purr is deep and meaningful.  It makes her feel happy and she melts and languishes herself and air-kneads.  Definitely a self soother that one!  

Gazoo is selective about her purring and saves it mainly for Momma when she is subjected to being pounced and laid on, she rubs her ears around Momma's sniffer and Momma has to nibble them, and all the time she is purring so loudly and sort of squeaking too.  She also does a shouty purr in the en-suite where her favourite toy is kept, a feather toy with a wooden handle.  She likes to be gently smacked with that wooden handle whilst being tickled with the feathers.  She falls all over the place, standing on her head and slithering about mewling and purring and baaa-ing like a lamb for more.  She does purr for ManSlave, but only if he has ducky treats.  But you should hear all nine of us purr at the same time for ducky treats - now THAT is a spectacle not to be missed.  Standing next to my family, it's like being massaged from the inside out!

Well, it's that time of day again where beds are stripped and new sheets are replaced and we all cause crazy mad mayhem whilst Momma tries in earnest to straighten, flatten and tuck in sheets that we all dash about in a wild frenzy undoing her good work.  She will give up soon and then, to us, it's now boring.

We have a little bit of Wiltshire Horn in the oven today.  Momma trimmed it nicely so we can all have a little taste before she rolled it in garlic and some fancy French herbs kept in a hessian baggie.  For those veggies among you, wrap your lips around carrot and potato mash with nutmeg and cabbage with plant based butter. Go figure?   Me, I shall watch the little lambie having a day in our sauna and get me a little piece to gobble down as though I am half starved.  Enjoy your Sunday folks...

All my purrs to you all - QUEEN VEE =^..^=

​

You wouldn't think that cats could litter, but let me tell you, we are dab hands at it!  Faith is top litterer and given a cardboard box, she can make very short work out of that in no time at all by ripping her teeth into it and spitting out all the bits.  She prefers a thinner Felix box which leaves little bits of blue and brown all over the office floor for Momma to clean up.  I am partial to a bit of box ripping but I only get really excited if it's a Zooplus one.  I can strip one of those down in a week.

Mae is a bin squirrel and instead of putting things, including herself, in it, she likes to empty it all over the office floor.  She loves rolling in the paper bin, digging through the recycling and most of all if there is a bag of shredded documents, she is in her element ripping the bag and rolling in it all.  Mae is also chief cat litter spreader too.  She has this dire habit of scooping all the litter out of the high front step of the tray, then instead of pooping in the massive hole she has dug to China, she poops on top of the hillock of litter she had domed up and off they roll, right out of the front of the tray onto the floor.  Once she has finished her ablutions, she notices what has happened and desperately covers her mess up with another mound of litter, this time, right outside the tray.  Just to make adequately sure she has covered all of her scent she will also grab any near by items and add them to the pile.  ManSlaves shoe, a toy, a sponge from the sink, a teatowel..... Woe betide the picker-upper of that one! 

There has been much ghost littering in the Kitten Room and only Gazoo has the key to get through the door (UM, ok a microchip for the cat flap, she doesn't have thumbs!)> Anyway, Momma can leave the room entirely neat and tidy, then go up to bed in the evening and all the yellow draws are open and there are cat clothes and harnesses scattered everywhere, as well as this, some of the draws are pushed inwards and have been emptied first out onto the carpet and not light things either, an entire draw of baby bottles, syringes and a bottle warmer, all tipped out?  Then at the other end of the unit the doors are all open and there are toys, food and litter everywhere.  She must be one clever cat.   Momma caught her once.  She firstly pushed a top draw back and drags the stuff in the below draw out, THEN..... she slithers into the draw, kicking and squeezing until she is then at the back of the draws, fridge, food and litter areas where she has a good rummage about.  After she has enough of creating a mess, she kicks open the doors from the inside by throwing herself into them and sloths out onto the floor with a happy grin and a lamb-like meow.    Oh Gazoo - you certainly are of my breeding kiddo!  I love your crazy ways and you are much sillier than I ever was at your age.  

Often, Momma is singing the Wombles of Wimbledon and commenting that she would rather live with Uncle Bulgaria than us lot and in that she includes ManSlave and his marker socks, newspapers, chocolate wrappers and books. All of which double up as things to play with, tear or steal.  Eros is partial to a used ManSlave sock and will tackle that smelly beast for hours until the smell overwhelms him and he passes out.  

Well, I could go on and on talking rubbish, but the smell of a sweet Charolais Rib is folding me into it's warm embrace and I must go and tackle some steam bathing once the oven is first opened.  At 160 degrees for two hours she is bound to be soft and buttery and that steam bath will keep my curls tight and I can wash them later for a beefy whiff.  Again, I don't want to not include the veggies.... Parsnips, potatoes, carrot, swede and celery and all ruined for you by having them snuggled around that rib bone!  

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and crowns down for a few hours with Rexes and cats of all shapes and sizes on your laps!  Love from Queen Vee   =^..^=

There is something about trying to catch up on yourself which becomes so tricky that you don't quite know where to start or finish. You just can not put your paw on the time when you could just 'sit' on a Sunday Morning and write your thoughts down and have folk all over the world reel with laughter (apparently).  It is hard to know that you have whipped a life line away from others who were in dire need of your updates and the failure you feel having not pursued your duty to provide such jollies for you all.   So, I am not going to go on and wibble or shout "woe is me" from the hill tops.  There is no need to drag you all into Maystar misery it's all too much dross and droll.  I have decided, therefore, to burst like a phoenix from the fire and begin again with a fresh sparkly outlook on life here at Maystar HQ.

​It is Spring here in the UK, well, not officially, but you can see from the bobbing, hopping, cooeing pigeons with their breasts all floofed out, that Spring is upon us and there will soon be more than just Snowdrops and Crocus adorning our little haven.  We have numbered fourteen Horraces, which some might say is an infestation, we feel it more of a lock down baby boom.  There wasn't much to do during Covid, so those dirty little Horraces increased their numbers to supersede ours and invade our space with their swishy tails and angry shouts.  It has been so nice to be able to go out into the catio and watch those pesky creatures race about chasing each other and cavorting around the place.  It makes tickles in your feet and fills our minds with excitement.  Especially the newest member of the Pride, Eros, a dainty rambunctious youngan from Cattery Minoan. He trembles and squeaks with delight at his new found giant outdoor TV.

The older and wiser ladies are still hiding away in the Office, paws folded under like loaves of bred, they sit day and night unless there is food in the offering, then, remarkably, they turn from loaves to shouting hangry critters.  Faith has been having special injections of Zoetis Solensia and after her 3rd one, which Momma had to inject, she is now bouncing about the place and being less of a Princess Doorstop.  Her skin is a little more troublesome and she has to wear a catsuit daily to stop the licking.  A change of food has helped too and we have noticed a change in JWB foods that we can no longer feed it to anyone here.  Vet Laura said she is looking the best she has seen her in 7 months!  BINGO!  One job off the list.  Lillibet had one of her funny turns, always after vet closing time. Sigh.... roughly a thousand squids later and a barage of tests , there is nothing wrong with her!  double sigh...  She is back under the angle poise lamp warming her body, chatting away and purring her noggin off.

My skin has been so very good since Momma sorted that out with a Citerazine tablet a day.  Then I kept having gritty pee, so had to return to a gritty pee diet which is now making me be sicky each evening. So back to the ingredients and a food that doesn't make me produce little brown wet piles of vomit for ManSlave to step in as I insist on doing it in the doorways and it matches the colour of the laminate to purrfection.  I am a evil genius!  It gives me endless pleasure to hear ManSlave hopping mad with a foot full of puke.  Momma, on the other paw, was not as a-mewsed as I and took the brunt of his child like wailing.  Fast forward to a food that is £22 a KILO!  Now I am living the life I deserve QUEEN VEE by name, QV by nature!!

Gazoo, after losing her five delightful babies in September, is recovering well despite the horrific sores and skin irritations that looked like feline acne to start with but spread everywhere delicate, even her fairy hole!  Originally, the Vets thoughts she had a Thymoma or Feline Lupus, both of which were just awful to imagine for her.  Since early November she has had treatments of steroids, antibiotics, anti sickness stuff, pooh hardener, creams, lotions, potions and finally, after all this time, she has healed beautifully and last week, she took her final pill.  The conclusion is it's idiopathic and this little word has been hung onto like a life line with all our mite.... The introduction of new kid, Eros, was a difficult choice for the household, but a MUCH needed choice for Gazoo as she just 'wanted' a baby again to love and care for.  She dotes on that kitten as if she birthed him herself. It's a beautiful thing to see.  Me, well, I can take or leave a new kitten, mainly leave them!!

Mae is a delightful pest. So pretty and funny, quirky and agile.  She has taken to the new kid like a duck to water. They fight and chase each other and make up silly games out of nothing at all.  AT Xmas, Momma made us a big play sleigh and those two spent the entire month of January ripping it apart.  SaBreena is a little like Myself, she is not feeling wanton over a small red eared bullet about the place, disturbing the peace and blocking the catflaps.  She has given him, Mae and Gazoo a decent hiding over the past few months for their silliness, it's as though she is 100yrs old and forgotten how to have fun. I still like a bit of fun, but on my own terms, I DO NOT LIKE being jumped on, bitten, chased, pounced on, touched or licked.  All of which HE wants to do to me and that makes me hissy spitty and grumbly.   He just won't let it drop either.  BOYS!!!

Flaire was a terrible grumble in September so Momma neutered her and in her tummy was a huge growth attached to her gut. She was a little poorly at first and recovered quickly becomming a happy, purry, sweet natured cat who was kind to everyone.  She and I wash each other and I make sure she stays close as Sisters should be and have swiftly removed ALL of her whiskers and eye sprouts down to stubble.  That should stop her wandering off! My whiskers are left intact.  I don't want my face chewed and washed that much thank you very much.  I want to be mollycoddled by Momma who trims my eyesprouts with the scissors.  You always need a good mannypeddy too, none of this cleaning your own nails...pfft. That's hard graft and hoomans do a much better job of it!  To get back to Flaire briefly, she has taken a huge disliking to Eros now that he is running about.  She liked him at Xmas when he was little and quiet where she nursed and kissed him and made him hers for a few days, then Gazoo and Mae stole him away and she became jealous and now everything the trio do irritates her.  I think she and I are just anti-fun!

We had a few changes in the outside boys.  Magnus, Sol and Ikon all left for pastures new and are living right royal lives of their own and Elton arrived last Spring and his adventures have been many and dramatic including a 2 day escape and a broken rib.  He went to live with the Minoan gang for the Autumn and came home all 'growed-up' and no longer looking like a gawky teen.  He has sired a lovely litter of three brats and they are as mad and quirky as he is.  We do hope that Eros, who is Elton's nephew, will have a fun summer together as Elton has been chemically neutered and despite his constant yawping, spraying and singing, we hope he will chillax a bit and enjoy some company.  

On the topic of chemically neutering with the NEUTER-EM chip.  Momma and ManSlave have decided that kittens are not going to be on the cards for some time.  It has been a very hard time and the loss of Gazoo's kittens was the final straw.  It was decided to neuter the lot and be done, but a goof friend said just try the chips and take a break instead.  So that's what they did.  A huge fat needle was stabbed in the necks of Elton, Gazoo, Mae and SaBreena and then the trouble started.  The spraying, singing, bonking girl on girl.  It is currently mayhem, but soon it will all die down and become quiet and calm ready for a nice long break. 

We will never find a cat sitter like Uncle Paul ever again and have looked and looked. Then one of the girls at the Vets has said she would give it a go!  yipee, we all love her already  bonus. This way Momma and ManSlave can take a few short and well earned hollibobs and enjoy their time together with out us lot... Although Momma says that I could go with them sometimes!  Whoop whoop...I love a trip in Amara. 

Well, today is roast day.  We have a wonderful piece of British Simmental to watch cook.  I am not allowed beef now, but no harm in taking in the flavours and supping the whisps of scent it throws my way when removed from the oven.  For those veggies among you - there are roasted carrots, potatoes, sweed, parsnips and handful of greenery.  We don't wish to offend anyone. 

With love, care and devotion to each and every one of you from your QUEEN VEE - long may I reign!  QV =^..^=

Do you hear that thump?  No, well listen again.  That is the thump of a hermitised Devon Rex living in confines together and practicing the age old art of 'Be More Tibetan Monk'.  The Thump is them practicing levitation techniques behind closed doors.  Faith and Lillibet have been holed up in the Maystar HQ Office for a week now whilst they undergo medication trials for their few ailments of arthritic joints and suchlike.  Which, in my mind, is a total contradiction as they sit, cross legged all day long like loaves of bread, legs tucked far under themselves oblivious to their pain.  This is where, I believe, the levitating happens in the phase between bread making and yoga positioning. 

They have to meditate hard, be on a strict diet only intaking just the bare minimum of sustenance to stay alive thus sending them into a delirium of this fascinating Tibetan ritual.  How many times have I snuck up the stairs with Momma to catch sight of this phenomenon is too many to count but as the door creaks open, they lose equilibrium and bump onto the desk. We can only assume that they have landed softly and without concern as they open their eyes, just a smidge, and if nothing more than filling their rice bowls is taking place, then it's back to meditating. 

"That's it." Momma  said and when she says that then usually it's followed by a new regime of some sort.  I wonder what awful things she has in store for the Hermits of Maystar HQ? They have been turfed out singularly and made, yes, made to dance a jig for their supper and stand on their hind legs and stretch out their little loaves into long baguettes and to use their bodies to activate a food reward.  This losing weight stuff is tricky.  I should know, I am perpetually on a diet as my urinary food makes me a bit porky.  There is one way I don't eat as much and that's when Momma mixes my special powders with my kibbles.  I happily wind my way through her legs and then up onto the counter and rub myself on her hands and face then race to my dish and point 'POISON'.  Momma laughs and says "Not poison Viktori, herbs.  Eat"  I sniff and shake my head, pfft, I don't eat nettles and such like, I am not a rabbit. I mean come on, I EAT RABBIT!!!
I lick the kibbles, move them about a bit with my sniffer trying to pick out a less coated one and crunch miserably.  However, I have lost 50g this week and feel much livelier and fit to chase those boy cats about the house as exercise.

There has been much stress in the house so Momma has had to reduce the numbers and split us all into small groups.  I get on with everyone so play nursemaid to Sol and Elton when they are in the kitchen, then sister and aunt to Flaire and SaBreena when they are swapped into the kitchen from the House Of Fun Too.  It's working really well and everyone is much happier with the swapping system and each unit gets time in and time out on rotation.  It also stops any unwanted pregnancies! 

Talking of pregnancies, Gazoo is due next weekend.  It's has been a long journey with her, so I have not raved as much as I usually do for fear of committing hubris and something going wrong.  She seems very large, waddly and kind of the size of a large melon.  Her belly struggles to fir through the cat flap.  She is sleeping so much and taking herself away to the kitten room for a few hours a day or resting in the lounge.  All, usually, upside down with someone to rub her expanding tummy.  The babies are wriggling away now and fighting for space.  I am still being mean to her though and often gang up with SaBreena to give her a good pasting.  Now, however, she screams less and stands her ground.  One day my great great grand daughter will get my humour and whack me right back!  

Gazoo has taken great care of Mae-Ling.  She plays beautifully with the boys but can not be left alone with them as they find her 'kittygarden' very enticing despite her youth.  She is a powerful blue jobbie and won't stand for any nonsense.  She is hell bent on anything in a dish being hers and does not share very well.  This has carried on from her being a teeny kitten who sat IN the food and attacked all her litter mates.  Quirky she is.  SaBreena really dislikes her and makes it known contiuously with beatings and even fur yanking.  One day SaBreena, watch your back - All I am saying!

Well, I have to dash, there is a giant bird that needs an eye kept on it. She is just crisping up and you know what that means?  Rice bowls full to brimming with NOTHING!

​Your loving, affectionate Queen Vee =^..^=
 
 ​

"Let me help you ManSlave." Says his favouite girl, Flaire.  "It's Ok Daddy, I have this with you." As she trips him as he carries the very heavy printer down stairs for Momma to fix.  Just a step at a time as it weighs an awful lot, especially with a couple of us riding on the automatic document feeder and pressing all the buttons in a bid to help him.  He swore quite a bit especially when I climbed up his back using all my back claws to hang on as he balanced the printer and it's extra load of Elton and a hissing spitting Flaire down each step. "Gerroff." he shouted as she thwakked Elton who ducked with the form of a great boxed to her well timed jabs.  When he came to lower it, she dashed from the top to lay underneath to take the weight for him.

Finally, he got the huge printer into the lounge atop two footstools which he carefully covered in painters sheets.  Well, he had covered it all but by the time he had climbed the stairs and headed back down Sol, Mae and Gazoo had jumped in and out of the sheets and dragged them all over the floor.  He had to set the printer down and there a fight ensued again between  Flaire and me as to who was going to get top spot.  It was neither of us, SaBreena got it!  Pfft. She is demanding topcat slot recently and is a bit of a red headed bully.  Well, after some cajoling and a shout for Momma, the sheets were back in place and a great 'chase me charlie' game around and under the sheets happened.  It was such fun that we played for a whole two hours.  ManSlave was meant to clean the printer but Momma and Elton ended up doing it together instead.  Well, Momma did, Elton spent his time ripping the paper towel Momma required for the print heads. Some bits were a tad too small and those were mainly swallowed so as not to waste any!! 

Once we had entertained ourselves, Faith and Lillibet arrived to sit right on top of the printer and it's glass screen was covered with greasy paw prints. Another extra job for Momma to do.  She loves to work hard and we love to help her out.  It's quite amewsing to me that Lillibet only has a few 'safe' places she likes to be in the house and one of those is atop the printer in the office so it was no surprise she took to it so well and spent the evening sleeping in front of the TV and not once did she have one of her stressy fits.  Maybe we need a printer in every room..? Just sayin'.   Faith has always been fascinated with the sound of the printer and squeaks at it when it empties out paper.  Quite the entertainment when it's working.  Their faces were an absolute study when ManSlave plugged it back in and it began to vibrate, cleaning it's self.  We all rolled about laughing at their 'owl ears'.  Much to their dismay!!

Besides that, our weekend has been gentle and uneventful and seeing as the weather was a bit pants, we didn't do much outside lending our minds to making mayhem anywhere we could. 

We hope your weekend was fun and enjoyable.  With all my whiskery kisses from your Queen Vee.  =^..^= 

Momma has been busy today making our communal outside area 75% bigger than it was before making it seventy five times harder to find us among the undergrowth of wild geraniums, foxgloves and salvias.  She can hear us dashing to and fro and all that gives us away is the wiggling of bright green honesty pods back and forth and the rattling of aqualigia seed heads.  We carried on like this for two hours, playing, running and chasing and with the odd cat spat for anyone wanting to sit on the same bit of warm slab stone.    We are so difficult to catch now that Momma had to resort to wheeling out the hosepipe.  Us well behaved cats headed in as soon as the command for 'Alright everyone, in , in ,in..' was announced with only Mae, Elton and Sol remained hidden until the hose sprinkled the plants and out they raced.  Another game....sigh.  Come on kids, we get treats if you are good and quick!

Then it got all too much for Gazoo and she began climbing the outer security fence to catch her a tasty winged treat of pigeon with a side of chaffinch.  It's an odd thing as usually she is one to enjoy watching and has never ventured over the fence, except she is now 30 plus days pregnant and I guess those pigeons are full of fancy flighfull vitamins and minerals.  It's an odd thing when you are up the duff, you really do begin craving more exotic things and I feel Gazoo has a bit of Horrace on her mind.  However, those pesky squirrels are just as cautious as ever as they too are up the duff and can smell her a mile off. 

Mae is a surprising five months old this week.  Just where does the time go?  It has been a full month since her Mum, FillyCat left home for a safer haven and is gradually coming out of her shell with her new lady owner.  She has met a number of the cats and dogs now, just briefly and gently so as not to spook her.  So far there has been a good reception on both sides and she is happy to stay with her human for comfort and trusts her to take all the fears away.  We are not worried it is taking awhile as she is a nervous girl and being a lockdown baby just didn't see anyone at all.  She is a very gentle girl, so we know she can do it and have a much less stressful home with no drama queens to contend with.  

On the same note, Ikon has been in his new home for little under a month and essentially walked in, sized up everyone and everything and decided 'this will do'.  I t was a perfect place for him in the end to go to friends of ours in Yorkshire where they have a terrific garden, a couple of easy going dogs and a Parrot called Mrs Miggins, who he still isn't pals with yet. No bad thing!!  He does however, play with Pants the little Terrier dog and steals her bed regularly.  Once her is re-microchipped for the UK he will be able to venture out into the garden and play tag with his canine mates.  They go for long walks too and may even start to take him in a rucksack.  He would love that. We are so happy he is happy, especially me, he was my nemesis!!

Gazoo will be due in July. She will be very busy until then scratching up the bedding and boxes and Momma's pillows until then. For now, she rests frequently and spends a little time in the kitten room. We can see her through the cat flap where she blows raspberry over the giant bowl of kitten kibbles.... Grrr.  Never mind. We give her a splendid thwakking once she appears.  I just doa bit of chasing but SaBreena is going all out. She does not want to be anything less than TOPCAT!  She has also been beating Mae up too, grabbing mouthfuls of blue and white fur.  Both Gazoo and Mae sleep with Momma to keep them from the jaws of Bree.  I have to sleep in with her instead to keep her in check!

Sol will stay here for the Summer months as he has a few Ladies to service before he heads off to his family.  He was meant to go to a breeder in America, but due to Covid it became difficult to fly him out there, so vaccinated for travel, documented and ready for an entire life, he stayed to make a few Maystar ladies happy making Gazoo and Sol a wonderful match of two fourth generation Maystar lines to come together for the first time.  An exciting match.  Their first union didn't go so well, Gazoo lost her babies and got an infection and has been on long term antibiotics until a week ago.  Now those babies seem quite stable and a scan has shown many spinning babies, everyone is much happier.  She will still have all she needs to hopefully get to full term this time. 

Talking of full term.  This has exhausted me no end and I need a right royal kip now.  I shall bid thee fartheewell until next time. 

​Your Queen Vee =^..^=

​

Spring has well and truly sprung. Each day there is something new in the garden is peeping up from the warmed soil and this year ManSlave has been banned from needlessly pulling up weeds, which Momma states every year are not weeds so this season there are Periwinkles, Honesty, Violas, Forget-Me-Nots, Aqualigias and Wild Geraniums all making their debut.  And anyone who ventures into the wood chips has been relocated back into the borders.  All these things, The Horrible Horraces do not like the taste of and give early food for the bees.  To help those little Bees along, Momma planted 20 Osteospermums and this morning there was devastation and all their happy little open faces have been removed and petals devoured by those retched Squirrels. Just let me at 'em Momma, I will give them whats for! 

Those Horraces are getting totally brazen as are some of the frequenting song birds.  Magnus Rex is out in the garden most days for a few hours, he is on a diet, so moving about is much healthier for him and keeping him neater and slimmer in the process.  There is one Horrace that just sits doing his thing whilst his wife is feeding the kids back at the dray.  He teases us cats and sits just out of paw reach and he rattles his tail as a warning. At the same time Mr Robin has been particularly feisty and flying so near to Magnus that a meow would knock him out, then, when Magnus jumps lazily for him, he hovers like a helicopter, then bounce lands and repeats his moves and Magnus Rex chatters with annoyance.   Momma goes out about 7pm to lock up and Magnus Rex sat proudly on his scratch post, inside his house with Mr Robin sleeping next to him.  We didn't know he had it in him, I guess if you tease a cat daily for weeks and you think he is your friend and you are on a diet, you also become the menu!  Momma patted his big soft flat head and kissed his nose and told Magnus Rex in a silly happy voice how very sad it was and what a naughty but clever boy he was and promptly buried Mr. Robin in the flower bed with a heavy heart. 

Because of the recent murder of Cock-sure Robin, no one has been able to have garden time now without supervision.  A real shame as the majority of us are really well behaved.  Faith and Lillibet are also on a trim and fitness regime after a winter slothing about in the office.  They each have to lose about 200g just to give them each a waste.  Faith will always have that 'extra skin' hanging about her - when it's in your genes, it's in your genes.  Well, there was me, Faith and Lillibet out in the big garden and the rest of the house were in the communal garden.  Only Elton kept making a break for it over the half fence to join us, but Momma was quick to untangle him from the wire where upon he raced about like a hooligan taking Gazoo, Sol, Mae, SaBreena and Filly with him in a fit of excitement skidding through the kitchen on the door mat and riding it back again like a magic carpet and each time they passed, Flaire grabbed out at them snarling her authority.  The excitement was contagious as Faith began to join in and picked herself out a Horrace to chase and round and round the garden she whizzed with the Horrace just a jump and tail twitch ahead of her with the steely look of 'Try it Biatch, I dare you' on the Rodents face.  

That made Faith full of herself all day and on and on she 'mepped' telling everyone how she chased that vermin out of the garden.  The reality was short bursts of a wobbling black cat in high heels with her petty-coats hitched up to her ankles in a high tiptoeing gait as the Horrace stuck out it's tongue and sent raspberries in her direction.  She was exhausted by teatime and so was the tired Horrace, who lay spreadeagled on the roof of the House of Fun laughing his tiny socks off. That was all too much for Gazoo, on a mad dash from the kitchen, up the wire section and randomly found herself on the same roof and took that Horrace by surprise. We all shouted our encouragement and she made the fastest dash,  paws outstretched and a wild 'FREEEEEDOM' came out of her mouth like a strangles sheep as she pounced and dug her teeth into a  frenzy of grey tail.  That Horrace vanished over the roof with Gazoo following so closely Momma thought she would lose her into the wilderness forever.  Luckily, the hose had just enough water in it to bring her down to earth with soggy bump.  She was a devil to catch so I helped by chasing her along the fence, back onto the roof and down into the communal area.  "It's Ok Momma, Good job I was there."  She is a wildling that Gazoo.  She is my family, I know how she thinks.  With a sharp slap across the backside, she was in the house again whereupon I fell helplessly on the floor, unable to stand, squirming about for my applause and to be swept up and kissed....all of which happened and made me all squirmy and jolly. 

Today is going to go at a slower pace, the Bank Holiday rains have come and we are all looking out of the windows at the pasty grey outside and allowing the Horraces to go about their day unscathed and there will be Sunday Mass for Mr Robin soul, may he rest in peace.  Another thing that gets to rest in peace today is the tasty leg of lamb that ManSlave has brought home from the farm shop.  It's their own lamb this year, Welsh Lamb, English grass.  Mae had her first foray into what this is all about last weekend with a side of beef.  I have stayed close to her teaching her the ways of the Sunday Roast.  She had a sneaky lick whilst ManSlave was preparing potatoes, her tongue got stuck on the fatty bit so ManSlave trimmed it off and shared it between us.  She is learning fast this little blue and white bundle of cuteness.  I feel I can train her up quite well.

Enjoy the rest of your Hollibobs folks.  With love from your QUEEN VEE =^..^=

​I think at one time or another we have all fallen foul of getting totally and utterly lost or stuck and usually, after such a fright, we don’t do it again.  Only today, we heard about Filly’s Cousin who took a car ride under the bonnet of a van only to be found by the mechanic 8 miles away from home.  A Mechanic in a panic for sure and we have all been warned that if any of us try a great escape like that – we may not be as lucky!

SaBreena took a walk on the wild side a few weeks back when the sun was shining. Unbeknown to Momma, there was a hole in the catproof fencing made, of course, by a Horrible Horrace.  SaBreena is a huge Horrace fan and watches the clever little rodents about their work and being a smart arse, she copied their actions and made good her escape.  It took Momma and ManSlave and a very long ladder to get her down from the roof.  She attempted it another few times and was finally caught in the act and the netting was repaired with cable ties.  The next time she went to scale the 6ft fence, hanging on like a primate, pushing her face into the netting to find a gap, she was thwarted and finally jumped down with an almighty huff and slunk back inside, face all ruffled and fur in square tufts from the netting. 

I too have been up on that roof and there is an amazing view of the tops of bushes where tiny birds land and tweet away hunting for spiders and bugs.  The sparrows, Wrens, Tits and Dunnocks all tootle about around there and Mr & Mrs Blackbird have their nest deep inside the prickly bush and they shout and scream at us which is usually how we are spotted my ManSlave and ‘rescued’.  Pfft. It’s not like we are stuck up there, we are cats don’t you know.  Although, I do know for a fact, there really is no safe way down and it is through fear and worry that I cling to him on the 10ft decent. I do envy those little birds each evening as they sun themselves and flick about in the dust and watch the sun go down.  When I rolled about in that dust, I got mites and was itching for days.   

Since Magnus Rex’s little foray into the wilderness, he has never ventured past the end of his nose and sticks around his enclosure and just shouts suggestive comments anyone and everyone.  He is like one of those mouthy builders yelling down lewd comments to the women below. “Ere love, wanna take a walk with me on my meat rack?” He just can’t help himself. It’s his Viking ‘name sake’ blood of The Great King Canute.  Rape, pillage and plough the land, or any girl cats who fancy a ploughing too!  They all shout back as he is quite tasty looking with his white tash, muscular body and spats.  But he had better watch out that the law of Momma doesn’t crack down on his unsolicited wolf-whistling, catcalling and skirt bothering behaviours.  It just won’t do in today’s society and we don’t want the neighbours complaining.

Ikon used to be a skirt botherer, but now he is more of a Horrace fancier since his PomPoms were removed.  Those Horraces tease him rotten with their squirrely ways.  He spends hours in the garden just watching them and they come so close, within sniffing distance and then rattle their tails, bark, snort and scream muk-muk quaa at him and go about their business of stealing 20mm gravel and slate and burying it in Momma’s Potato boxes.   Only yesterday a Horrace entered his cat run and he just sat there whilst it climbed his tree and stashed a piece of gravel in the fork of the branches and left the way he came in.  Ikon then went on to find said gravel and boot it about the enclosure for a good 10 minutes until he lost it under his cat wheel.  ManSlave found him hours later on the cold stone floor waiting for it to reappear.  What a silly boy. 

Ikon has been in the house much more of late and when he comes in he reminds me of one of those bully boys in Private school. The ones who put bars of soap in their socks and go about beating up the weaklings for their pocket money.  I have on occasion been at the receiving end of said sock and the wrath of his almighty orangeness.  He, only this week, came at me with his sock and I cowered in the corner where he hit me over and over with it and I did a little pee-pee.  He really is a big scary beast, akin to an Ethiopian Gelada with the big wafting mane and muscles.  So now, when he is in the house, we are separated for good measure and he can pick on someone his own size.

There have been a few more escapes of late.  Filly’s kittens are full grown minicats now and have the knack and speed of land lizards and just as slippery.  It is not so much escape as attack leaving the fumbling humans to take pot luck and grab their eel like bodies as they slip into and out of rooms like water and trap themselves in cupboards that are only opened fleetingly.  Of course, we have all done it at one time or another and some of us sill do.  Gazoo, Elton, Sol, SaBreena and moi. The food cupboard is the place to be and whilst ManSlave gets out Horrace food, in we nip and climb to the top and knock all the little things off from the shelves which land in the Horrace food bucket which then topples forwards against the door.  Then we cry and create in there to be let out and roll about laughing as down tumbles all the goodies and a bucket of loose sunflower seeds all over the floor.  We jump free and race about the house in hysterical mewing at having pulled off the best trick ever. 

Well, I am going to make good my escape now and find me a nice warm spot to curl up on.  Now the kittens have departed, there is so much more space to select for midday naps and a good cleaning session to plot our next adventures from.

From your ever doting Queen Vee =^..^=

Escapology is a fine art and not everyone is good at it and some want to escape but can't.  It all boils down to cat flaps and who can go where and when.  I, for example, am happy to use a cat flap if there is food on one side and and it requires snuffling down particularly if it's not for you!!

We have, in total, seven cat flaps here at Maystar HQ. It's like Fort Knox in the Kitten Room with one to get into the room and a further one to get into the Kitten Pen.  Then there is a double one in the kitchen, one each side of the going out wall and the coming in wall where there is the cavity wall to negotiate.  It's tight and you have to be quite svelt to fit through both.  Each of the Stud Houses have one too.  But only the kitten room has the special microchip type so only mummy cats can come and go...well, that is unless you are super smart!

There have been a couple of cases recently where I have let my tummy rule my mind and found myself in quite the predicament.  May I also add that Flaire started all this and I was merely being a copycat!. There is a cat flap into the kitten pen so Mummy cats can go and visit their babies.  You don't need a chip to enter, but you do to leave this is mainly due to baby cats learning how the door works and Momma's laziness at not removing it after the little ones have flown the nest.  I followed Flaire's example and got well and truly trapped in there.  I cried and banged on the door, but Momma and ManSlave were out. When they came home, they heard mewling.  Momma looked everywhere and still I couldn't be found. ManSlave said that it can't be that hard as we didn't live in a mansion!!!  They both looked and each time anyone came near to where I was stuck, I was so quiet and hid in the hooded bed in the dark recess of the kitten pen and held my breath.  I watched them check everywhere then I couldn't hold my breath any longer and my tummy was rumbling and out came a loud squeak and I was found! 

After I made that silly squeak and tumbled out standing on my head, butt in the air and was lifted up and kissed all over which made me very giddy indeed.  They laughed so hard as it reminded them of their first Devon, Dewie, who was stuck up a tree for a whole day and night because he held his breath!  

When Flaire broke in, she ate so much kitten food she made her tummy very sore and stinky.  At least when I did it I only chewed through four tetrapaks of Bozita leaving a trail of liquidy meat juices all over the freshly washed kitten beds which I tried to clean of with my licker but made it worse!  SaBreena broke in once and piddled in all the fresh kitten bedding, Momma was furious.  That is the only unfortunate problem with the 'humane cat trap' you get found out!  What's a bit of washing and drying all day anyway- Momma loves it! 

There is a separate microchip catflap going into the Kitten room which only us girls know how to access and you have to have your microchip registered or you don't get in unless you manage to sneak in unnoticed. However, if you are in there, you can leave anytime you want to.  This, unfortunately, becomes a problem too as some very clever naughty kittens of FillyCat's have been doing just that and escaping out of there into the hallways and beyond.  They are just too smart for their own good sometimes. These flaps are all very clever un less you are smarter than the average cat and have opposable thumbs.

Yesterday, Momma started her rounds early morning and there was Sol, outside?  He was moaning, face pressed up against the back door looking distraught and his frozen breath made meow shapes in the frosty glass.  He dashed inside when she opened the door, ears and feet chilled but body all floofed out and warm as toast in his thick coat.  He was definitely in at midnight so she checked the camera.  There, 6.04am he pushes through the first flap squashing himself past the 'thermal hole plug' that even Momma struggles to force into the aperture each night and yank out each morning.  He had pushed it into the cavity wall and then squeezed through to the second door to the outside.  The only unfortunate issue was, he couldn't do the return journey as the 'thermal hole plug' had dropped down against the door, trapping him in the cold morning dew. Luckily, there is a covered cat bed out there to shelter in and I guess he was happy watching the birdies and Horraces. 

Magnus Rex uses his catflap like a battering ram and he launches himself, full speed at it. Crashing through like  a great bull, head down and charge!!!!! The sound it makes and the speed he goes at it is phenomenal.  I do wonder if that's why he is a little brain dead at times being a bit super silly and vacant at times.  Ikon is a different kettle of fish, he will paw and paw and paw at his flap as it must open for him to present himself to the world in all his golden glory.  Then there is Faith who dislikes it when the flap touches her face so she too paws at it and pulls it towards her and ducks underneath.  

SaBreena is a whirlwind and has never cared about such problems. She is a catflap genius. Where as Flaire will only use a cat flap if it is jammed open so she can meander through it - well, that is not entirely true, if she has a kitten or food...she CAN use one, but would rather a clean exit.  unlike Gazoo who can not figure out how the cat flap system even works. She knows she wants to go out but just lays next to like her auto feeder and hopes it will open.  She is a real dope, the Daughter of Magnus Rex, so I am saying nothing!!  She will flounce about the microchip feeders and sloth along until one opens. She has a built in ridiculous notion that everything must be approached  backwards.  She drinks from the water fountain whilst standing looped around a feeder, and one paw on the windowsill.  She even climbs a perfectly good cat tree BACKWARDS?  She is just as quirky as her voice!

Elton is the new fella, he is learning to follow the other bigger cats.  Lillibet doesn't do flaps, she would startve before pushing that piece of plastic with her face. FillyCat always gallops through catflaps and did from day one of arriving. She is a force to be reckoned with and uses them as entertainment like an eventing horse, she hurdles through,, round and back again just for fun.  I do not know where she gets her energy from? 

Today is a special day of new beginnings and much more fruit and veg in the Parentals diets so they are celebrating with a huge forerib of Charolais in the oven. Mmmm.  The light is on, I can see it roasting away and now I am healed with my new pills regime, I may have a small piece of it later with anyone else who manages to get a front row seat on the armchair beside Momma.  Because there is a bone in there we may even get to race it about the floor in a rare treat. Not sure how many nut roasts I shall be blogging about in the future?

It's good to be back and thank you all for being here (there) for the Maystar Pride. 

​Your one and only Queen Vee =^..^=

I have had many questions asking where I have gone? What I have been doing?  Was I ever coming back? Well, I guess the answer to that is I have been well and truly CATatonic with lack of communiCATion and things here have been very compliCATed indeed.  There have been no vacCATions or jollyfiCATions here. Nope, no sir.  Only a small sCATtering of nice things like beautifiCATions when I have a Mani-Pedi or a good grooming.  All else has been a bit of a CATastrophe. 

In November, when I last wrote.  My skin was literally dripping from my bones with sores and my little body was pained and uncomfortable.  I had lost so much weight I was but a grumpy stick of un-wellness.  I was in and out of the vets and spent many a day hospitalised on a drip with pipes here and there to help me breathe.  It was a dreadful month in all honesty and I could barely lift a paw to write about it.  Then, in December, I met a lovely Vet called Mr Godfrey and he set me on the right path with an amazing skin regime and diagnosed me with URTICARIA PIGMENTOSA.  Finally, a name for my condition and a treatment plan. 

I am sat here today with Momma, sending my thoughts through her fingertips to the keyboard, just pouring out how grateful we all are that I am bouncing about like the kitten I am inside and playing, eating and being happy again with no breathing, piddling or skin issues and all from a small dose of antihistamines.  That tiny pill did all this when all other interventions nearly had me, well, very very poorly.  So, I am free of my shackles and with it a breath of fresh air.  Momma came off worse with a tummy ulcer - fancy that! 

In these last four months we have seen kittens leave and kittens being born.  Filly cat has five delightful crazy critters that I have taken under my wing and am teaching them all the naughty things to do.  They follow me about like a chain of baby elephants, nose to tail squeaking as we march.  I have taken on their schooling and education in all matters concerning misbehaving and do not take any rubbish which usually results in a clip around the ear and back in line they get.

We had a new starter too from the house of Lexifers where the great KING SLINKY was born.  He is a red & white midget with huge catitude and absolutely no manners what so ever.  He has taken many clips about his lug holes and is now forming a neat line behind my well trained FILLINGS (FillyCat babies).  His name is Elton, he is far from trained and is very silly, goofy and daft and is always trying to outrun the world.  He has slotted in very well and has a second family in Gazoo & Sol.   Ah, yes, Sol.  He is currently still here after a mishap with his scheduled USA home.  Oh well. He will soon be off to join his full brother Cookie in due course as a wonderful cuddly pet. 

Ikon has continued to have willy problems, then, miraculously it all stopped now he is neutered and Momma is on the hunt for the purrfect home for him.  We are up to 13 cats and the food train is straining at the sides as well as Momma's energy levels.  It has been such a worry that something more serious was wrong with him and he was due to see a specialist if things didn't change soon.  Phew.  More money in the pot for food!

The Horraces have been breeding all winter?  So much for hibernation and slowing down.  Nope, not at Maystar HQ.  They are onto a good thing and must have told the entire woodland as there were 14 of the grey jobbies bouncing about all Winter.  To add to that the Wood Pigeons landed en-mass and brought with them Sparrows, foxes, Hedgehogs and even a flock of tiny Long Tailed Tits.  The Sparrow Hawk was having a field day. Don't mention rats!!!  All this nature in our teeny plot of suburbia.  SaBreena is out there into late cold evenings, thick coat keeping her body taosty, watching life unfold in front of her eyes.  She is the only one brave enough to venture out.  Magnus Rex & Ikon get to chase a few critters but in general, they are both terrified of the Horraces which  yap and launch at them.  Plucky little F@rkers!!

I will endeavor to keep you all up to date with the goings on.  It has just been a bit tricky.  Thank you all for being there out in the world to receive my words - for now I shall bid you farewell.

Your Queen Vee  =^..^=

Well, I am not quite sure where six weeks has vanished to and looking back I had so many funny snippets to tell you all, but alas, my personal assistant has been on strike, pfft, you just can't get the staff these days!!  It has been a whirl wind of six weeks seeing the Breelings grown and leaving home as well as Pearly, who packed her bags well over a month ago and also left home for the life of a true Queen.  It has seen Ikon having huge ups and downs with a very sore willy and FillyCat playing the mating game three times before she got the hang of it. 

It seems weeks ago that Flaire's two boys left for the North of England with their new family who did and incredible 9hr round trip to collect them.  They have slotted into homelife really well with two little people to play with and get up to all sorts of trouble with.  We get the odd update from the Rewcastle family especially when their Dad is back from his driving job.  In the same spirit, two of SaBreena's kittens have also left home together to live with Aunt Missy (Miss Marple - SaBreena's Sister) There are already reports of no sleep in the Quinlan household with Aunt Missy taking over motherly role of wash and brush up before bed and some thieving of their toys.  There are 3 dogs and 4 other cat's to get on with and of course, they have won everyone over already with their crazy antics.  They are living life as kittens should - totally loved and given freedom to be who they are. 

And talking of who they are... There is a little cat who just can't be who she truly is so a huge decision was made for sweet Pearly, SaBreena's Mum and Flaire's Daughter, to pack her bags and leave home on a trial basis.  It all started back in 2020 when Pearly met the Davies family and really liked both Lottie and Neil, who I must add are THE most feline of feline specialists and so kind, calm and gentle and won Pearl's affections which is a rare thing.  They met her twice and finally it was suggested that Pearl would live with them after the recovery from a pyometra and then a long mental recovery time with unusual hormone imbalance despite being neutered which caused awful skin rashes and awful bladder flare ups that went on for months.  This all took a long year and finally, in October, she was ready to begin a new life with her new family. 

I could go on and on about my Cousin in great detail about how she doesn't trust anyone in the world except Momma, how she is picked on and beaten up as well as as her beating up small kittens.....blah blah blah...  Well, Momma delivered her and stayed the weekend to settle her in and how she thrived from the first minutes of arriving. The purr was on and her trust pilot light was lit and she hasn't looked back all thanks to Neil and Lottie's supportive introductions to her Grand Kits, Rufus Rex & Marlee May as well as two large domestic short hairs.  The world is her oyster and she hasn't growled once at anyone!  Makes you puff out your chest with pride - she is a genuine fruit loop but with the right environment, she is a super, funny, light hearted and active girl with so much to give and is so forward, loving and brave too.  It's just incredible. 

I have had my fair share of dramas too with my skin and breathing.  It was quite frightening in October when I had licked kitten tuna and BAM, next thing I was running backwards coughing and inhaling vomit all at once which resulted in a vet visit because I couldn't stop doing it and ended up with food in my lungs and a day on a drip, lots of this and that as well as fluids and medications to take home.  Sigh.  Then my medication attacked me and I could't have that anymore and that's what allows me to eat normal cat food. Sigh.  Then I had to go back to the vet because my skin is sore and my breathing is all over the place and I now have to see a fancy specialist which will use up all of the money Momma saved for her special purrday this year.  Sigh 

Ikon has been suffering from a poorly willy and for some reason, hormones have played a part in his manhood being inflamed and sore.  All tests, scans, thising and thatting have been carried out since may and the vet supported Momma to get a couple of litters from him and also hormone shots to give his pinkie a good healing session - then, out of the blue it all kicked off again, despite not being juiced up....He will be going into see vet Aidin soon to have his pompoms removed and make a very happy lapcat instead.  he is a stress head and yells all day, unlike his chilled out son who doesn't care about yelling.  He also isn't really that fussed with the girls.... well, would you be if you winky was sore?!   Magnus will have to take over from his Father in the stud department.  I wonder if that means he will FINALLY not want to chase me around the garden?  Doubt it, can't get rid of my nemesis that quickly!

FillyCat is finally pregnant after first meeting Ikon and him being totally terrified of her and was found crying at the door of Al-CAT-raz to be let out.  She was having none of it and beat him up so badly that every time he saw her after that, he slunk down and crept away.  Ironically, his Son Magnus Rex, was not to be beaten back so easily and wouldn't take her vile and darned right vicious attacks as a no way jose moment and frequently slapped her as hard as she slapped him.  Round two a few weeks later saw her a little more subdued but she was so nasty every time he grabbed her neck that on the third try, yet a further few weeks later,  resulted in him going free for all, paws behind his head "Yeah baby - take that" - "Look Momma - No Paws."  It was the funniest thing to watch but he was hell bent on getting the technique down to a no touchy feely policy and FillyCat was soon spinning about and rolling around on the deep shag pile mats!  Magnus certainly had to use every inch of subterfuge with her and twenty one days later and she was all ruby red in the 'nips' and hey presto the seeds were sown.   

I am glad I have finally managed to get the scribe to get this job done and I can only send my apologies to those who have nothing better to do than wait avidly for my blogs.  I do hope you haven't forgotten about us and I promise I will save some good news and funny stories for the next installments of Queen Vee's Blogs Posts for you all.

​Thank you loyal subjects - your Queen Vee =^..^=

It feels like furrever since I have managed to tie Momma down to doing a blog.  She just hasn't found life very funny recently with all our antics. Some of which was my fault.  She took me up to bed a few weeks ago and I turned and sprayed all over her belly, she was wearing shorts and after it ran down her legs, all over the end of the bed and soaked into her socks, she just hasn't felt like trusting me since for one on one bed time.  

Ikon started peeing blood and won't shut his howl hole so went to see Vet Aidin who has given him a few months of restbite using Grab-Your-Pen-Tin, or some such drug.  It's working and he is back watching those Horraces and birds outside of his cat pen pod and is allowed out into the garden again for a dash about. All is well with the boys wizzer now and feeling a little more chillaxed.  Well, that was until he met FillyCat.  Oh my, he spent a night with her in Al-CAT-raz and by morning he was crying at the door to be let out as that frilly Filly knickers is a bit of a wildling. When Momma put him back in his CatPod, he had nail husks stuck to his face like porcupine quills.   No worries though, The Great King Canute came to the rescue and took that wild biatch in paw, slapped her about a bit and won her over and came out pretty unscathed.  Three days later, they were like an old married couple arguing over who got the best spot in the sun. 

Lillibet has been a pain in the proverbial.  She had deposited a quantity of chocolate gold on the cat wheel then run like an idiot away from it, sending it spinning from the wheel at high velocity onto every surface.   Momma was not best pleased with her.  She has also been doing dispute piddling in a few inappropriate places. She was never caught in person, but on camera.  HA - GOTCHA!  You see, when I pee, it is a medical condition and I get away with it...but Lillibet is just being darn right naughty and thinks in her pea sized brain, that she is TopCat!  Well, she isn't.  That title falls to SaBreena!  Now that Al-CAT-raz is vacant, Lillibet now has full access to it during the day.  I join her as does Pearl and Faith.  We just mooch about the garden and go for a snack and a nap in the heated beds.  It's like a day spa. Sometimes, Pearl wants to go inside the house and stands on the chair and cries pittifully to be let in.  If she is ignored, she climbs the side of the CatPods, tootles across the SkyBridge and shouts at the window upstairs! 

The only time I want to come in from Horrace Hunting is when ManSlave lets Ikon or Magnus out for a run.  Ikon particularly dislikes me and he really winds me up. When I pass his pen, I spit at him.  He wipes his face and turns his butt to me and shoots a wizz.  Ugh, boy is he vile. A few times I have raced out of the gate before ManSlave can stop me and Ikon has caught me and pasted me.  I hate it so much that I run and I know I shouldn't, but it just happens and voila, I am stuck somewhere and have to be rescued.  Last week I had just had a nice bath and was drying in the sun, ManSlave didn't know I was lounging on the deck rearranging my fur and let Ikon out.  He found me in seconds and had me running everywhere so I scrabbled up inside the clematis nest and waited for Momma to come and rescue me.  She was a bit miffed because I was utterly filthy and covered in nature. 

Flaire's two boys are growing fast and will soon be off for their pompomectomy on Friday.  They will have their second vaccine and a microchip each.  Outchie!  makes one wince to think about it.  They will be a bit cross legged when they get home! Before that, they have had lots of fun in the garden playing with leaves and bugs. They are ever so funny and not shy of a clout from me.  SaBreena had four boys and all of those are pretty spectacular and each one totally different again.  Momma was so pleased she was safe having them and caught her out having them at 4pm when she was just sitting down for a cuppa and a snooze ready for the 'night' ahead.  They are now three weeks and growing like weeds and really magical rainbow colours again. 

Well, that will do you for today.  I have so many small things I meant to say but forgot because there are a few bees flitting in the garden and they need my attention and sitting on the kitchen table is making my butt numb.  Catch you laters gators.

​Your Queen Vee =^..^=

What a few weeks it has been.  I can honestly say it's exhausting living here and I seem to get the blame for everything so much so that I have been shipped off to Al-CAT-raz in the process.  Pfft. I am an indoor cat, that was until I sprayed all over Momma's front and she lost the plot! 
Pearl and I are out together as we are on the same diet and she has a stressed bladder too.  

Flaire is in the kitten room with her two little men and occasionally Gazoo when supervised.  SaBreena is in the main bedroom waiting to pop with kittens and has chosen in there whilst the Flairelings grow enough to manage the landing. Lillibet, when not in the garden, is happy to come and go from the office with Momma leaving just Faith, Gazoo and Filly in the main house.  This has cut down on the continuous urinating on the landing outside the doors, on the cat wheel, in the bath, on the bathroom floor on the mat next to the litter tray on towels and especially and uniquely on the towel that lays under the washing machine to catch drips - our drips!   

The final straw came when there was a transient smell of wee drifting about that Momma could neither track down, nor find with her CSI black light making the house look from the outside like a 1980s disco.  Nope the smell was there, but no wee?!  It was driving her insane!  Then one afternoon, ManSlave sat down and Gazoo smelled his socks and then he smelled his socks and then Momma smelled his socks and began to laugh like a crazy woman as she went out to the hallway and smelled his stinky left shoe, there it was - One of my special tinkles on his birthday in his shoe because I love him SO much and didn't have any other way of showing him.  THAT was the day Pearl and I were shipped out to the 'rock'.  Like most inmates, it was a crime of passion!

Not that I have been inside the house for two days due to the fact I peed in the kitchen after a nights reprieve.  Momma watched me on the camera, sneaky peeping tom she is, spying on me relieving myself on her socks on the kitchen table, pfft, but I do have to say, the house was much sweeter smelling without the widdles and the house cats were all chillaxed too.  I do have to say that I have a urinary infection which is being treated by the vet and so does Lillibet so some of this peeing is not our faults!  Momma paid out millions of cat kibbles to have it all tested and that dreaded E-coli is still causing us major amounts of issues.  We are not even sure how or why it's happening as the entire house is solid as the proverbial rock in the gut department with chocolate gold being like bars of bullion.  I guess it might eventually 'do one' and leave us alone especially as there is absolutely no more raw treats or meals every again to be served in this house.  Gone has the strip of steak or lamb.  The meaty love affair is over.  This is case no 9 that has struck and the only place this drug resistant bug has come from is the raw bunny.  

I am so heartbroken I am unable to see the Sunday lunch cooking, especially as the light is now working, but Momma says that ManSlave is still upset with me and I have to wait it out and take my medicine and be a clean kitty before I can watch anymore Oven TV channel. It totally sucks.  I guess we are having a good time in the garden chasing squirrels and such like, so that part isn't too bad as those pesky young Horraces are really bolshy and brave now.  Faith and I pincer moved one for Lillibet to catch but she was slow on the uptake and let him slip away.  Pearl was too busy climbing the Catio door to get back in for fear of being eaten alive by a baby Horrace.   Of course, as most things, there was a downside to being allowed out, flea and mite drops as those Horraces could be carrying all sorts.  On went the drops and out fell my fur.... Seriously, I am as bald as a coot as it Faith.  That is some powerful stuff and to think we shared it between 5 of us.  Luckily Pearl, Magnus and Ikon are OK and kept their coats on.  Faith and I ,look like a pair of unloved street cats. 

Not feeling very Queenly this week - Your Queen Pee, I mean Vee. =^..^=

What a wonderful few weeks of Orb Shine we have been experiencing and there has been so much for us to do, especially Faith, Lillibet and myself.  We have been allowed out into the entire garden to mooch and wander around with no one watching us.  It seems we are all to be greatly trusted and to be honest, it has been really wonderful and only once did I get a bit over excited and landed over the fence, screaming like a banshee for someone to catch me.  I slithered about with my back claws on the outside of the fence with the black thorn poking me in the butt from beneath as I scrabbled for leverage holding on with my front paws doing a great set of chin ups to rival even the best athletes.  Luckily, Momma heard me and came to my rescue.  I went all silly, falling on my head, scooting about on my side with my butt in the air, tail thrashing and purring up a storm.  Needless to say, I have not been over the fence again. 

You may be wondering how I managed to find myself atop a 6ft fence? Well, I have been chasing me some Horrace youngangs and they are mighily quick and naughty and been teasing Lillibet and myself for the entire week.  Lillibet and I are great stalkers and being chocolate on top, we hunker down on the wood chips and we are like a pair of hungry furry carpets.  I have been chatting to ManSlave to see if he was willing to stick some peanuts to our backs to give us a fighting chance, but he said that would be daft.  Pfft. Some help he is!  they are pesky, these Horraces, they sit just inches from our faces and waft their tails across our sniffers which tickles, but neither of us can get up the nerve to jump on them because they make a rattling sound with their tails and chatter with their teeth.  The only time we pounce on them, they just jump a few feet away and turn on us.  Then, one of them RAN..... that was it, a great game of chase took place with a mad zoom around the garden and the baby Horrace was panting and heaving his chest in and out on top of the fence post and I made my leap and being not quite as agile I teetered on the 5mm thick featheredging and that's where that Horrace rushed at me, took a flying leap like a ninja and kicked me in the face and I tumbled over the fence.    

Faith takes a much more laid back approach to being in the garden and occasionally takes a turn around the pathways, racing up and down at high speed, then out to the side garden for some much needed Orb Bathing under the sunbeds.  It's very cool under there and we get to kiss Momma and lay under her shading sail and get in the way whilst she reads her book.  Lillibet likes to lay on the slabs in the shade of the potato plants and watches the flying ants leave their nests.  Momma thought it a good idea to lock us out in a trio to determine who was doing the widdling on the wheel and I have to say - I HAVE A CLEAN SLATE - it was not me 'this time', nope, it was Lillibet!  How very naughty is THAT?  Momma took her to see Vet Ali and requested her usual 18mth bloods for a health check which came back that she is in the peak of health. So, it looks like NCS (Naughty Cat Syndrome). Hmmm, Not like me with my crystals having an excuse, hers was sheer bulshy biatchness.  In the mornings, she is put into the bathroom (as currently cooler than the office) and she has to use some special litter to check the type of wee she is producing and once she has used the facilities she can go out into the garden for a few hours time out. Well, we like to keep Momma on her toes!

Momma said we should name the new Horraces and because this particular friendly one only has one ear, I decided to call him Auris after the latin for ear and it sounds like Horrace if you mew it quickly.  Momma said that I wasn't then allowed to catch him and lick him once he was named which is quite ashame really seeing as the oven engineer has been with our part from Germany to make the light come on again.  I could have watched him bake until crispy for squirrel snacks.  Momma makes us freeze dried tuna in her machine, I wonder if she would allow a few strips of rodent in there with her pear fruit leathers? 

Until next week y'all, your Queen Vee =^..^=

Here we are, Momma and I back on the plan and typing up my blog.  I like to take prime position in front of the screen so that me thoughts flow through me onto the page, so to speak.  I would like to tell you about the naming of cats.  A cat has many names from the household pet names to the glorious Sunday names.  I suppose, being Queen of all she prevails, defender of the realm, I should go first!  

My Sunday name is Champion Maystarex Empress Of India after the great Queen Victoria of England. I nearly got called Chevron on account of my inverted 'V' on my face and thus I became Vee and a Viktori Vee to boot, yes, like the unique tasting herbal lozenge "Forged for Strength"!!  Momma likes to play with words, meanings, sentiments and above all a bit of history.  Like my name sake, I have have never been to India and like Queen Victoria do have a Munshi, in fact, several Munchies a day!  My chocolate colouring flows under my ears like the braids worn by her majesty in her youth and my eyes sparkle like the emeralds in her sparkling tiara.  The similarities don't stop there....!  Mrs Brown? - I am chocolate! MOL 

Lately, Momma has been calling me Shamu after the great whale kept in captivity in Florida.  She really is referring to the way in which I circle my prey and swim from place to place when I have been accused of piddling on something.  But I will have you know I am no big fish and it isn't me piddling! HONEST!!!  So, Momma can stop with the name calling! Shamu, pfft.  Just because I am the same colour and jump through hoops for her love and affection. 

Faith also has a special Sunday name which never really gets a mention here in Maystar HQ as like Filly, she is the odd one out from another cattery.  She is named Rexiru Black Envy of which was meant to be all about being a great show cat, all of which, she hated!  Faith has a house name of Bubbah Fishy and if called Faith, it MUST be followed by 'Honey' or she will ignore you!  Bubbah Fish grew from her love of salmon and the fact she was once, the baby of the family!  Ten years on and she is the matriarch and very good at her top position.  She never really was a Queen like me, she has always been a Princess and is often referred to as such in general conversations.  The neighbours must think we have 20 cats here as Momma calls "Bubbah Fishy, Faith Honey, Princess." in reality it's just one pusser!  

Her Daughter, Maystarex Elizabethan Poem, Lillibet also has a number of names too and like me she is named after a Queen, our Queen Elizabeth or Lilibet to her family.  Our little Queen has a double L!  She has her special names and her silly names such a Bitty Bean, a label taken from Little Britain after her tiny cat boobs grew huge and the term 'Bitty' stuck. She also has her own toys and manufactures those under the name of LilliLongLegs because her leggies are so very very long and she loved green beans so much as a kitten, playing with the bean string for hours so Bitty became Bitty Bean and now just Bitty B.  She likes that name, it suits her and she purrs and chirrups with love and pride when she is told how pretty she is and kissed and snuggled.  Well, I don't do all that with her, she is a whakkamonster and I call her the Gruppenfuhrer or Stair Troll.  No one messes about running the gauntlet with her standing in the way.  Kittens boast that they have made it safely past her, whilst others lick their wounds, She is demonic in her strikes!

Flaire has a beautiful name Grand Champion Maystarex Queen of Scots and has taken the name of Mary "Wished for child" and I often quote 'Mary Mary quite contrary' at her as she is a big bossy boots and rules the house with an iron paw.  Momma calls her Girlfriend as she suckers up to ManSlave for kisses and extramarital affairs of the whisker pads where ManSlave  caresses her ripples and calls her Blue Eyes.  It's enough to make a cat puke and blush in equal measure.  When she is being all mushy and sweet and loves Momma, she is rewarded with a Poppet or a Poppalopolis which makes her all gooey and adorable and even purrs.  Pfft.  My Sister NEVER purrs unless she wants something. Unlike all of us who purr on command!  When you hear F-L-A-I-R-EEEEEE you know she is in trouble and has clouted some poor unsuspecting kitten around their hearing devices.  Really, although she rules, she is a weak ruler and runs from conflict moaning and hissing.  

​I don't know if it's the fact we have all been here the longest or that we are the naughtiest that we have all these names?  Momma even has a song for some of us.  Here is mine....

"Oh GlOrY-ouse (sound like mouse)
ik-A-TORI-ouse (sounds like mouse)
She is A-DOOR-A-BULL.
Oh she is loved
By all OF-OUSE
And marches too and fro"

Ok, it doesn't rhyme but I love it and trot about striding out with my paws flicking them in a marching frenzy to the sultry beat of my British style monarchy tune.    Flaire's is a bit more technical and rappy and makes her purr loudly and  goes something like this....

Poppolopolis, born in a metropolis
Wants to give me a KISS
On her throne in the Acropolis
Wants to give them a KISS
Waves her tail at the megalopolis
They want to give her a KISS
The great Queen and Prophetess 
The all loving Poppalopalis
Only gives ManSlave a KISS 

To me, it's a bit OTT, but hey, she is a year older than me and holds her crown on straight. Mine is a bit crooked and I can't help be a bit naughty and talking of naughty, the light is still fascinatingly on in the oven and today I am watching wait baited breath as beef shins cook away for hours and hours.  I never knew cows had shins really and can only hope they are adorned with shin pads to keep them tender, unlike ManSlaves shins which are dented and broken after a few rough hockey matches in his youth.  Although, the thought of cows playing hockey is quite something and a bit of a barnburner! 

What are your pet names followers? Are you willing to share a toots, a snugglebum, snookums with us? 

Your loyal and devoted Queen Vee =^..^=

How I have wanted to update you all with the too and fro at Maystar HQ but Momma has been super busy catching her tail and her breath to help me sit and paw through the trivia that hath bestowed us recently.   It all began when SaBreena took poorly and had to start on a long road to cleaning out her sticky uterus. Apparently, it was the dreaded E-coli bug that had swum up and into her fairy and created a real mess is there.  A few weeks on and the vet recommends mating her again, despite only having kittens earlier in the year.  Damn Pyometra!  She has been singing for boys for months and finally it turned on her and bit her in the butt.  

Then, not a day later, Pearl took really poorly and was urgently neutered and is still suffering from really awful skin reactions where the injections were given and spread all over her body in big pustular lumps.  She has been in consolable with pain all over her pink little tummy.  now her healing is complete with her spey, she has been able to have some steroids to calm everything down and reset her sore little body.  She also had an injection of antibiotic to halt whatever bacterial thing had taken hold.  Quite in the wars that one and after a few soothing washes she is healed all over.   She is being treated well and trying to keep her calm is paramount currently especially as she thought she was pregnant the whole time..  To top all this off, poor kid has her urinary crystals back and is peeing in short sharp, wincy, bursts.  Meooow!  Momma is giving her wet food with some cider vinegar and cystease and slowly, she is getting balanced again.

One of us is also piddling everywhere.  I hasten to add, it could be me although, I am keeping a very low profile, the kind of low that leaves one slinking along the ground undetected once Momma is on the 'sniff it out' rampage.  I have to say, I look guilty when often I am not... or am I?  I am keeping stum.  Needless to say, I am still receiving tablets and cider vinegar, along with Pearl, to reduce bladder stress.   I am not allowed anything but my food with no treats or extras which is not sitting well at all seeing as every cat in the house gets extras.  It is just not fair.  I won't mention the 2oz of steak that Momma trimmed off for me and the two small wet meals with gravy. OK, sometimes I am a lucky girl.  Well, I have also been afforded a little jaunt or two in the garden too without bounds and fences, just Momma and me time, building things and painting fences.  I am really good and very helpy.  I have only found myself on top of the fence three times.  I just levitate up there somehow? 

Faith and Lillibet have also been trotting about the garden for a few hours a day too which is lots of fun for them and giving them both some much needed time out from kittens running into them.  There are new baby Horraces racing about and creating much entertainment for all three of us.  Sometimes, when not wooing the ladies, Ikon enjoys chasing the odd one about too.  He is quite brave pouncing on their tails and they, totally uncaring, carry on eating their nuts and just flick their tails in his face and chatter at him for being so rude.  They are so darn cheeky those Horraces. They break and eat everything and now putting us cats in our places too.  It won't do, they need more pouncing and jumping on.  Come on Ikon!!

The Roblyings all left home over the last few weekends but Gazoo is still scooting about creating havoc, chasing Filly Cat, who was her best friend until she began to get hormonal and began attacking her quite heavily.  I gave Filly a few head thwaks but still she pounds into Gazoo, hissing and spitting.  She had to be separated into the kitchen.  Such a shame as Gazoo will need a mate soon when her Mum, Robyn, goes off to her new home.  Filly is beginning to calm, but personally, I feel she needs to just get on and have kittens now before she kills one of us!  

Talking of kittens, Flaire and Ikon announced their new babies, two boys.  Not bad for Ikon's second mating and the first after his Neuter-UM chip.  I love trying to visit my Sister and take a sneak peek at her sons.  They are so cute and quite lickable really.  They are nearly two weeks old and Momma had to hand feed them again for 20hours due to the blood groups being different. They managed really well, albeit very exhausted by the end of the three days it took for the labour, birth, feeding and latching them back onto Mum.  Flaire is well and happy and loves her boys so much, always squeaking and chirruping to them. It will be good for Gazoo to have someone to play with and still be a kitten for awhile longer. 

Another great thing that happened is the oven man arrived last week with a new light unit, so after waiting months for the part to arrive from Germany, I can now dive into to the world of roast Sunday lunches once again and there has been great interest in the cooking of things again.  Today is a plump chook, a red leg Leicester.  No doubt we won't get any at all, but hey, I can watch it cook!  What more does a girl need? 

I shall try my best to keep up with the blogs.  Sometimes, things are just so sad that it's very hard to make things sound fun and entertaining - so here you have it.... 

All my purrs, Queen Vee

It occurs to me that I have not been on the Cat Wheel for some time now and even if I did fancy it, it always seems to be occupied by a number of other pussers keeping fit, trim and stress free.  They all wait in line to use the new treadmill outside the backdoor. It's a running frenzie and each with their tiny FitBits counting steps for their ten millionth step per day.  Who can run the most and who can look the best whilst doing it?  Not me - the wheel is for sitting on and perhaps watching birdies from or catching a good squirrel fight.  Horrible Horrace has had so many babies that they too will soon need wheels to keep them entertaining them, entertaining us!  

I have to start with Filly because she is new to the treadmill torture.  She started slow and steady with the odd walk, then, once she got the hang of it she really began to move as one with the wheel and running has become her new passion of which she meows happily as she trots to her own pace in life. Fast and furious! She sings the 'song of her people' as she hacks along at a fine pace. Filly is closer to Pearl and I than anyone else in the house and follows the same rhythm with a good long stretchy run. ​

SaBreena is always a great runner and can do just the fastest paces in the house.  I thought, in my hay day, that I was the very best but alas, she has beaten my record in that arena with complete ease.  She is built for speed, shaped more like a cheetah than a Devon Rex, outstripping the leggiest of Rex.  Although, I feel that Filly will give her a run for her money in the legs eleven stakes very soon!  SaBreena is a true runner, she is precise and determined to break a world record and pitted against her family of Mother Pearl and Grandma Flaire, their stance is almost identical with only speed to separate them all.  ​

Pearl is a strider and a trotter, stretching out her long body and making the most of a walk in the park.  She has her earbuds in, listening to some good Country and Western and doing a satisfying stroll to it's sultry love songs with the odd out of tune blurt out of 'Pearl's a Singer'. She is the main user of the wheel and can, if pressed run exceptionally fast to the point where if she grips on she can nearly go all the way about before she is catapulted off into space like some furball.  She is a vocal CatWoman with a jagged purpose of fighting anyone who dares to use the treadmill before her. 

Flaire is the slowest of the treadmill trainers and will walk at the most leisurely pace of a slow deliberate walk and thus has time to growl at any passerby that should come within sniffing distance.  She will only walk, painfully slow, to annoy all of us so that her steps last the longest and she can control her sisters, children and grand children in equal amounts.  Her march is one of determined snailism and no one can speed that girl up unless your want a clip around your listening devices!  She is head of the house, queen of all she surveys and should anyone challenge her - she just pees and occasionally poos on the wheel to mark it as her own. 

This week has gone with a bang. The Roblings are nearly eleven weeks old and with their first vaccinations are doing just great.  SaBreena's little joys are all happy in their new homes and there have been lots of photos with doting parents just loving their new babies.  We all just wish the weather was brighter so the Roblings could at least experience the outdoors before they leave home in a months time.  Maybe there might be a little sunshine to come our way soon?  Until then, the Horrace family are donned in rainwear, their tiny wellies splashing about in puddles collecting Momma's very expensive tulip bulbs from the pots. Biting off the flowers and doing a runner with the tasty bit.  I am shocked at their tenacity. Forget rain and hail and eating with the minions, just go straight for the al a carte menu.  I can think of more things than that on my menu - oh Horrace.....come hither and jump into Momma's freeze dry machine will you. I fancy a squirrel snack! 

From the laziest of Queens - Your Queen Vee =^..^=

It has been a whirlwind of entertainment here at Maystar HQ again.  It comes like that, nothing for months, then a total wipeout in two weeks.  On Tuesday the 20th May it began like any morning, Momma arrives in the kitchen to feed us Kitchen Cats and go about her catly duties outside, except, she didn't turn up?  She bypassed the kitchen and left the house before the blackbirds were up, carrying a heavy box of squealing and very H'ANGRY kittens.  We presume, by the smell of the 'vet carrier' under the door, they were headed for the vets?  I guess it would have been a tad cruel to feed the entire household right in front of them as by their screaming they had been starved since early doors, ready for surgeries of the birth control kind. 

The following few days were taken up with Momma and I playing nurse to a rather miserable Donna and Marlee May who had full lady speys - Ouchie, I remember mine.  Rufus Rex fared better with just his pompomectomy and was happy to play with Svein, except Svein called him a eunuch and SaBreena had to separate them.  Much like their Grand Dad Ikon and Father Magnus Rex who also had to be separated after much name calling this week. That all started over CatWomen.  I kept well out of that one and will report later!  

By Thursday, all the Breelings had bounced back and Donna tentatively lay about recovering happily.  Her 'booboo' much more dramatic than her Sisfurrs. She lay, paw on brow, whilst Momma syringed recovery water from a dropper onto her tongue.  Pfft, as soon as Momma was out of earshot, Donna was up - racing about!  You gotta congratulate the kid on an Emmy well received.   Fast forward ten days and Donna was packing her bags and headed off to live with the comedian, Russell Kane, and his family of 2 cats. there is Terry, Roy and Pug Colin and not forgetting a Mini Person too.  She made instagram by nightfall with a training video and copious amounts of fun pictures too. On the Caturday, Rufus and Marlee left for Wiltshire to join two large household cats, Jasper & Lulu, that tower over them.  They are destined for the quiet life, just Mum, Dad and a new sofa to lounge on.  Svein had a more adventurous Sunday and is usually the boldest and bravest of the litter, turned sissy and was beaten up by a young minicat named Rexy in the MINOAN household.  A week on we have reports that they are best of friends already and that Svein is very posh when he meows and purrs like a train.  

We wish the BREELINGS 2021 wonderful new lives with their hand picked families. 

The honeymoon period is over between Ikon and Son Magnus.  We had a wonderful year where they got on great guns providing that Ikon was kept subdued and calm and absolutely no testosterone in his system. Unfortunately, the Neuter-UM chip wore off and he became the aggressor and began to torment Magnus.  Then, one morning it became a battle of wills as neither would step away from a brewing fight.  Having seen the signs before, we all took cover as the snaking wildlings took their weapons in paw, shields up and attack..... Mid flight, Momma caught Ikon but he did a double take and ran at Momma, who grabbed the nearest bin lid and pinned him to the ground where upon Magnus took out a sock filled with rocks and headed full on for the noise under the bin lid which was kicking and screaming under her hands.  Magnus went for a full on all out battle cry, mouth like a gaping banshee and snaking his body sideways.  Momma took up her next weapon, a bamboo cane.  Wow, you should have seen her twirl that thing this way and that to block his advances as she backed further towards the side of the house where there was a bucket of rain water.  She had one foot on the bucking bin lid and was outstretched, waving her cane like a Hollywood jazz act towards the water and splish splashing Magnus with it.  Hating water, Magnus backed down and now bored and wet returned to his side of the garden.  Ikon was mad but confused and was scooped up and swiftly put over the half door of the main House of Fun, very quickly I might add.  Magnus was corralled into Al-CAT-raz to live out his days in solitary.  

So now, there is twice the work, twice the cleaning, twice the cuddling and twice the bowls, the treats, the vitamin pastes, the littertrays (not that they are using those) and twice the stench as they play piddling wars across the garden at each other.  It's a crying shame.  Luckily, ManSlave takes good care of Ikon's needs with manchat in a sweet bromance and Momma tends to Magnus with cuddles and kisses even on his smelly piddle feets!  Faith sometimes visits them and keep them company on runs about the garden and won't stand for any of that boyhood nonsense either.  

It all is taking it's toll on the house dynamics too as often Flaire and Pearl would enjoy girl time in Al-CAT-raz with their own cat wheel and special treats during the day away from the fray of Breelings, Roblings and their prospective Mothers. Never mind.  It can't be helped.  The house is just a bit on edge and it all takes it toll on all things . Health, happiness and kindness to each other.  It's kill or be killed. End of!

Your, keeping my head low, Queen Vee =^..^=

You never really know who will make the first break for it out of the miniest of MiniCats.  But, I can tell you, when I saw it, I nearly couldn't believe my peepers.  There was Duke, the most chillaxed of the Roblings, mounting a scaled detail out of the kitten pen.  His crampons set to stealth mode.  With a bit of scrabbling here and timed launching jumps, he scaled the un-scaleable slippery walls of the enclosure and landed square on the bench.  From there, he teetered on the edge like a lone lemming and then parachuted off the perimeter to the open ground and made a mad 'loo brush' tail dash for cover.  Never in all my days have I seen such a feat at such a young age.  He then went on to squeeze back into the kitten pen, opening a gap whereupon letting his fellow troupes out from the boundary fence line and all four made a break for it, out onto the landing.  Their cover was blown by Filly's trilling and much thwakking of her fury paw in the hallway!  Note, I did not raise the alarm - snitches gets gets stitches!!

Robyn was there in a flash, trying to round up the four escape artists and it was like a scene from the 'Laughing Policeman'.  Kittens rolling everywhere in hysterical laughter at being caught.  I swear they have been on the gas 'n' air!!! Poor Robyn was distraught at trying to shoo them back towards the safety of the kitten pen whilst all the other Mothers laughed at her from the side lines giving their ten pence worth of support.  She was non-plussed by their chants and a few got a fist full of fivers to take away with them.  Me, I said nothing.  I was like a cat caught watching ants run back and forth on a summers day. Quite content with my lot sat out of the way, however, I did take umbrage at Filly clouting Duke and gave her a swipe as she passed by, there are rules and she is not a follower! Heck, everyone loves a drama, but not everyone wants to be in it!

Momma soon had everyone sorted with kitten pen extended, barricaded and filled with so many toys they forgot about escaping again. I remember my days as a teeny dot.  I was forever breaking free and racing about Momma's office because my Mother, Gracie, used to dump me out of the nest into the litter tray, so I lived with Momma in a small basket by her desk.  That didn't last long.  FREEDOM!   I remember when Robyn was tiny, she climbed the walls of the kitten basket at just two weeks old. Being hand fed made her very excitable too. I think it's something in that milky rice Momma feeds us?  Gives you jazz feets, the type that don't stop tapping!

Pearl is the biggest escapologist in the family, she can sneak out of most things and especially over fences, luckily, she always comes back when called with a sulky look on her face.  Faith is smart at escaping from a cat carrier. She HATES travelling in one, too many vet visits.  She is a dab paw at unzipping the zippers and has to have hers tied up or locked.  Momma brought a new crate for her to travel in because she is super sneaky!  Ikon made good his escape last week when he saw Pearl squeeze through the communal fence into the big garden beyond.  He did the exact same move but got his head stuck. He couldn't go forwards nor backwards so ManSlave had to rescue him.  Magnus Rex is not into such simple escapes, he likes a wilder freedom and can jump square onto the shed roof and tootle along the ridge, slip slides on the plastic roof, up to the apex and along the sky bridge to the flat roof and from there he can watch the neighbours in their hot tub! 

Filly can climb anything, can run faster than anyone and doesn't listen or come back.  She is a foot dodger, a shoulder surfer and all round wild beast.  Nothing can contain her and she doesn't like rules.  Maybe as she grows she might calm down?  I am guessing not!  We are dreading her kittens antics!  SaBreena is a cool chick. She can pick a lock with a single claw and scale the highest doors.  her escapes are more sedate and as not to draw attention.  Lillibet has never escaped anywhere or anything. She is too good.  Takes a leaf out of my book.  We were dragged up proper you see. Flaire is a queen and above anyone else, she only has eyes for ManSlave. She would simply await her golden chariot, board it and leave with a parade of well trained mice pulling it. 

That's all for this weekend.  With love and joy in our hearts from your Queen Vee =^..^=

You know, you can't get the staff around here!  Momma was laid up for an entire week with her titanium spine ache and had to take so many drugs that she could barely type her name, let alone write my blog with me. Ah well, I got the privilege of snoozing in bed with her and huffed at anyone who came near.  She let me sleep under her knees sometimes until she drifted into a drugged sleep and squashed me, sending me flying out of the floofy blankie quick smart. 

Occasionally, I allowed the kittens into the bed with us where upon I could keep them at a distance with a stare or a small snort. You see, I happened to eat some of the kittens fish one lunch time and had a breathing attack again after a rash broke out all over me. Luckily, ManSlave has those special pills to reduce allergies and I was breathing again and looked less like a fuzzy lobster.  So I was also playing 'sicky' in bed.  Well, that's my excuse!

I missed telling you about the Easter photo shoot of the Breelings and just how funny they were being put into a basket, which was surrounded by colourful balls and eggs, none of which made it into the final photos.  They had beaten up every shiny thing, spilling the toys and eggs all over the floor.  Momma placed a kitten in a basket and got the camera ready and zoom, gone... She got the camera ready and put the kitten in the basket, nope, zoom, gone.... She had to hold the camera in the end and try to focus on a kitten and again, zoom, gone.... This was not going well this week, they were too hyper.  She had Donna hanging from her jeans, Rufus jumping for the waggle toys, Marlee yelling her head off with frustration of not getting the toys and Svein launching himself onto anything that would take his weight, including the curtains and the lighting boom.  Crash!  Out of 100's of images, there were 4 possible ones and Svein's were STILL blurred despite him having the most shots taken of him. 

I also missed telling you about Marlee May & Rufus Rex's parents visiting and how dinky they found us all.  The Mr said that Magnus was small. Well, Magnus took offence at that and tried to puff himself up into a giant cat, but soon deflated on the Mrs lap for a cuddle.  He showed them his pompoms and Ikon flirted with them running on his wheel and tried to butch up his muscles to look extra hench.  Nope, the Mr said that they were small compared to their Top Cat at home.  Me thinks he must be one of those mainecoon jobbies as they have pompoms the same size as Magnus & Ikon ::now imagining tiny Magnus & Ikon on back end of another cats butt::
Then, they saw all those little minicats and the oohs and aghhhhs soon came out with how dinky they were.  Rufus Rex thought that was silly because he is a great big lump of a boy and despite his initial 'don't look at me I am not here' he too puffed himself up and showed off his sleek long structure and that he was going to outgrow his Daddy!  Marlee doesn't care for that, she likes being a tiny dinky thing and is proud of her svelte figure.  These millenials, surprised she isn't vegan - oh hells bells - can I even say she anymore? 

With Momma stuck in bed, ManSlave had to help out in the cat department and he did an OK job.  It really brings to light that Momma needs to label the new food canisters to the feeders as they got a bit mixed up and I got chicken diet food which made me scratch, Faith and Lillibet got Filly's full fat food, Filly got my Rabbit food and now won't eat her full fat one.  Ooops.  Faith put on 100g in 3 days! She ballooned and floated past Momma on the landing one afternoon and I threw up at her feet and it was then she spotted the problem. My food is not little triangles but small flowers.so Momma went downstairs on her butt and sorted out the problem and put an end to the free for all.  Filly was most put out and now hovers at my food machine hoping to grab a bite.  I give her a short sharp slap and she growls at me. Pfft, you don't scare me young-un, I invented growling!   

Yesterday, Donna had a visit from her new family.  She did really well as did SaBreena who had never seen a mini-person before.  Donna took just a short time to come out and meet her doting family and was soon playing and being cuddled and kissed by them.  I don't like mini-people unless I am at a show and I am looking down on them.  It's a shame as I can be lots of fun and give everyone else confidence.  It was good in a way though as these babies are going to busy homes and won' have me there to hold their paws.  They have all been very forward in this litter and are downstairs for most of the day racing about together with Filly's help.  It will be pick uop time soon for the Breelings after their neutering and final vaccines.  Yikes, then those Roblings will be out and about creating havoc and them being my Great Grand kits they will be C R A Z Y!!!

So, last weekend, you all missed the amazing spring lamb lunch of which we all got a nibble as a treat and now, this weekend, I have the smell of free range pork defrosting in the microwave ready for the oven later today.  There will be no pork for us cats, apparently, it can carry worms and creepy crawlies that upset our tummies, so we shall wait for it to cook and try and swipe a slice or two providing ManSlave doesn't dress it in that smelly sage stuff!!!

I am off to supervise and make sure he knows what he is doing - we don't want a mix up like he did with our food.  Momma would never forgive him for getting the Sunday Roast mixed p with a bowl of cereal!!

​With love from your all wise Queen Vee =^..^=

There are copious amounts of packet food vanishing into the kitten room and you all thought it was a world shortage due to the Suez canal being closed and the influx of new critters needing more packets, but no, I can honestly tell you that it is Maystar HQ that is draining the resources for the rest of the world.  Robyn eats them with gay abandon each day and it is her that is running the universe low on those delicious shiny packets of delight.

I have a parchante for those slippery packs of goodness and at any point can be found thieving them from under Momma's nose.  Occasionally, Momma leaves one in the sink to be rinsed out and I steal it and chew holes enough to make a good sieve.  Then, if I am not lucky enough to get one of those, they are rinsed out and put into the peddle bin in the bathroom.  I have purrfected the art of trickery thievery and use sweet Svein to balance on the peddle of the bin whilst I scout about, head in, among the packs, trying to grab one like some sort of fairground game.  Once, Svein jumped off the peddle and the lid came down and hit me square between the ears.  I staggered about a bit holding aloft the well fought tuna packet that I was NOT going to let go of easily.  I reeled back and forth with dizzying staggers, swaying here and there and my prize was scooped up and a quick kiss on my head from Momma - like THAT'S going to make it all better...Herrumpf.. ::gives low growl and a hiss:: 

I can now go one step further and retrieve, not only empty washed packets, but full ones.  It takes a bit of ingenuity and skill and I am always up for a challenge if the reward is ample.  The packets are decanted into a plastic airtight box with clips and then placed in a draw, one of those easy break in one Ikea types for kids.  The items in question are locked away quite well so I do have to use the shingle in my head to work it out.  However, I am a smart arse and a few times watching closely and I can break in by pushing the draw above backwards to reveal the draw below and IF Momma has left the clip off to the container, I can flip open the lid, sneak in a paw and hook me out a fresh one.  Gosh I am just so devious and smart and decidedly clever.  What would I do if I had thumbs?

Not every reward is met with a happy ending.  There I am chewing the guts out of a full packet, spilling it's stomach contents onto the carpet and ripping open it's middle and devouring what I can before the hand of hell comes and takes it away, usually with a smart tap on the butt and a cry of "Oh Viktori, just why?" from Momma's lips.  I lick mine, over and over tasting the last of a hard won prize and grab out with my claws and teeth in a snapping motion to get back my packet.  I get leverage only to be shaken loose from my win and watch as the last of it's innards are poured into Robyn's dish, the door shut, never to be seen again.  The hardships I have to deal with are too much for my cat brain and I explode in a dance of semi silliness, which belies my true feelings of upset and despise and I dance and dance and thwak a kitten or two as I pass.  There, that feels better.  The world is balanced again. 

Today, I can not pull my mind from the Charolais beef that lays in the microwave, rising to room temperature.  I have pressed my sniffer to the door several times to make sure it does not suffocate in there. It's ok, I can hear mooing or it could be Lillibets gentle snore?  I do wonder if there will be a smidgen for me as all the thieving has created a rash on my skin and I am to have a bath later to sooth it.  What would sooth it better is slices of beef laid across my tummy whilst I wallow in a bath of packets complete with turkey escalopes over my eyes and tartare face pack.  Then, I believe, I would feel so healthy and in my element. 

Here is to pamper Sunday.  Huzzah!
Your delicious Queen Vee =^..^=

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