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Momma sent me away for a whole month. She desperately wanted to collect me, but her friends said no. I was to stay until I was pregnant. Well, I am not pregnant. I walked right back in the house two nights ago and guess what? Yep, you guessed right. I began to call. This will never do. I am a home bird. I don't like leaving Momma and I just switch off when the boys come a hunting. I let them practice a bit but as soon as they hit the mark, I fall to my knees and twist away. My Mum, Grace, told me just how much those big barbed boy willies hurt and there is no way on this earth I am having that in me!
Momma does have a plan B but I am yet to hear about it and if plan B fails I am for the chop. I am nearly two years old! A relative youngster and I love kittens but didn't realise exactly what went on to get them. The birds and bees talk was rubbish at catschool. It was all diagrams and charts - believe me - it is no walk in the park I can tell you.
Do you know that boy cats dive on us when we feel primed enough at the rear end and yes, the boys have to do the priming! This bit is OK, Pearl often primes me up at home. It is OK, not bad and you roll about a bit afterwards and play chase. Well, boys do NOT want to play chase or have you rolling about. Oh no. Boys jump your bones and bite hard on your neck, they dig their teeth in at a 90 degree angle so your skin twists your face back into a snarl. Then they scratch your bum so all your hair comes off and you look like some ragged sheep before sheering, the ones that rub their fleeces off on the fencing! They scratch your butt so you lift it up to the correct height for them and they keep stamping away until you are pumped up like a car in for an MOT. Well, believe me - I am in no mood for a service let me tell you and I stick my tail between my leggies to stop the ramrod from hitting the spot !
Momma said I am naughty and if I wasn't such a tease the boys would leave me alone, but I am a sweet cat and quite gentle really. However, there is no way on this planet I am holding my tail to the side for anyone. Unless they hold it for me! This could be Momma's Plan B? She might have to hold my tail to the side for me - is this then classed as rape? Bastet help me. I know you are the goddess of kittens but surely there has to be another way?
Momma said she could do AI but her friends wouldn't do 'the job' on the boy cats. Also, those swimmers only last 30mins so it would have to be a quick job all round. So I guess that is out of the question. Nope. Until the hoomans come up with a better idea, I am plaiting my legs and saying no to the blow! So with sore ragged neck, bleeding and scabbed and smelling like an old goat. I am home and looking forward to playing with Pearls MiniCats.
ManSlave has built us tiddling ladies a spare house as well as when we call so does the tinkling! I can come in with my pants on for fuss and love and then go back outside for the day whilst the others have free roam of the house. It is nice and cool out there too. A good breeze rolls through and the views are amazing over the wilderness nextdoor. I suppose I must head for a bath again - this TCP smell is really getting to me!
With love and purrs from your Queen Vee =^..^=
Momma does have a plan B but I am yet to hear about it and if plan B fails I am for the chop. I am nearly two years old! A relative youngster and I love kittens but didn't realise exactly what went on to get them. The birds and bees talk was rubbish at catschool. It was all diagrams and charts - believe me - it is no walk in the park I can tell you.
Do you know that boy cats dive on us when we feel primed enough at the rear end and yes, the boys have to do the priming! This bit is OK, Pearl often primes me up at home. It is OK, not bad and you roll about a bit afterwards and play chase. Well, boys do NOT want to play chase or have you rolling about. Oh no. Boys jump your bones and bite hard on your neck, they dig their teeth in at a 90 degree angle so your skin twists your face back into a snarl. Then they scratch your bum so all your hair comes off and you look like some ragged sheep before sheering, the ones that rub their fleeces off on the fencing! They scratch your butt so you lift it up to the correct height for them and they keep stamping away until you are pumped up like a car in for an MOT. Well, believe me - I am in no mood for a service let me tell you and I stick my tail between my leggies to stop the ramrod from hitting the spot !
Momma said I am naughty and if I wasn't such a tease the boys would leave me alone, but I am a sweet cat and quite gentle really. However, there is no way on this planet I am holding my tail to the side for anyone. Unless they hold it for me! This could be Momma's Plan B? She might have to hold my tail to the side for me - is this then classed as rape? Bastet help me. I know you are the goddess of kittens but surely there has to be another way?
Momma said she could do AI but her friends wouldn't do 'the job' on the boy cats. Also, those swimmers only last 30mins so it would have to be a quick job all round. So I guess that is out of the question. Nope. Until the hoomans come up with a better idea, I am plaiting my legs and saying no to the blow! So with sore ragged neck, bleeding and scabbed and smelling like an old goat. I am home and looking forward to playing with Pearls MiniCats.
ManSlave has built us tiddling ladies a spare house as well as when we call so does the tinkling! I can come in with my pants on for fuss and love and then go back outside for the day whilst the others have free roam of the house. It is nice and cool out there too. A good breeze rolls through and the views are amazing over the wilderness nextdoor. I suppose I must head for a bath again - this TCP smell is really getting to me!
With love and purrs from your Queen Vee =^..^=
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