Mr.Zeus's family were on their way to the Great North Swim and they found out that Mr.Zeus had forgotten his armbands and wouldn't be allowed to enter.  It was a bit of an annoyance as he had been saving his shark outfit for the event all month and had refrained from wearing it about the house.  So, because he couldn't go and raise money for Cancer, he had to be dropped off here on the way up instead.   He caused all sorts of havoc here at the Maystar House and Momma said that he was not to parade around in his shark outfit unless he wanted a good Thwakking from me!

I wasn't allowed anywhere near him and he didn't seem too bothered about saying hello, so we left it at that, him in his 'House of Fun' and Me and the CatWomen in ours.  He looked like he was having a great time, food on tap, bird feeders in his window and new cats to meet. Although, once he set his sights on Ipek, he scared the life out of her and ran at the cage door.  She immediately cowered down and he spat at her so much, she eventually hissed at him and slunk away.  See, it wasn't all me in those days, he had a temper on him too!

Momma cut his claws, oh what a racket he made, anyone would think Momma was sawing his paws off with a rusty knife. He was screaming like a girl and contorting his back feet over his head.. me oh my, wouldn't catch us treating Momma that way.  She soon had him placed between her legs and trimmed away whilst he wailed on and on and stuck his back feet out which splayed the toes...  perfect. Snip, snip, snip. wail, wail, wail.  The new neighbours must think we skin cats for a living here at Maystar! After he took out his frustrations on the cat post, he filled his tummy with a bowl of chicken.  I was laughing hard, Momma had forgotten it made him itch!

His family came on Sunday and collected him and took him home in a nice new kitten carrier, his, we noticed was falling to bits. He was thrilled to back, ripping up their carpet and climbing their curtains and sleeping with his Mummy in bed.  So much better than the 'House of Fun'. Although, he did just walk in as though it was only yesterday that he had walked out.  I think he had a good holiday and we all enjoyed having him, shark suit or no shark suit!

KS =^..^= 
 

Well, we have various different visitors, the main one being two Grey Squirrels. Bimbo & Topsy, the Squirrels are so funny to watch and it becomes a whole family affair. They are so acrobatic and can smell seeds where ever they are hidden.  No good keeping them in the shed, they ate through the door! Faith particularly enjoys watching them hang upside down and scuttle along the fence and fly through the branches of the trees. Such characters.  Momma was a little perplexed when she found holes in the soil in all of the garden pots and blamed the mice, but it is Topsy & Bimbo burying their wares.  They are a sweet couple and quite chatty and full of themselves and OUR Sunflower seeds!

We also have the sweet mouse family, we don't discourage them because they are quite darling and have adorable little whispy tails.  They don't cause any trouble and our resident garden cat 'Ipec' keeps a close eye on these and often takes her little prizes home for her human Mum. Much to Ilke's distaste, she once found a field mouse in her work bag during a class at Uni! Eeeek.  So really, if Ipek enjoys keeping our mouse population down naturally, then all the better and they tend not to show their sweet little faces around here much.

The Hedgehogs are also back in town, their little gateway is being reused and we are noticing the ever increasing population of slugs finally declining!  This is good news for Momma's lettuce and hostats! They are really healthy this year and we have lots of places for them to sleep and hide out during the day. Of course, we can't leave out any food for them anymore, because resident Garden Cat, Ipek, thinks it's for her. So Momma waits for her to go home and leaves it in under a box with a very small hole. Problem solved. Happy hogs going into winter, but an unhappy Ipek who has to walk home for her supper!

We have many more visitors in the form of frogs and newts.  the newts are the funniest little creatures and earlier this year Lillibet found her first newt experience quite thrilling. She had found him in the kitchen? Don't ask how they climb the 3ft sneeze barrier in the CatPod? My thoughts are they sneak up through the decking, but Faith INSISTS they climb...doh! Any way, Lillibet found a little baby Newt and squeaked and squeaked until someone came to rescue it. Mr. Zeus would have been proud as it was his job to locate Newts!

Most of these little creatures will go away for Winter and they are stacking and storing all sorts of berries and yummy things to take them through until Spring. But there is one visitor that we are not that happy about and they seem to take over this time of year, are the RATS!  EEEK. We love to watch them jump and leap and find cleaver ways to search out food, but because they do it during the day now, the Parentals have had to put their foot down and call in Stan the Ratman. We try and wait until all the others have gone into hibernation, but this year is warm and creatures are still running around and the Rats seem to be very determined to stay.  Even Ipek can't scare them off, she is quite scared of them!   We do apologise to your and your families little rats, but you are now as big as cats and you will take away the subtle balance in our finely honed garden. Stan is a thoughtful Ratman and takes all our concerns into consideration. Sorry to see you go, but you all need a little reminder to move away, back to the water courses and stay there!

KS =^..^=

NO CHANGE THERE THEN:-
Well I never, the Parentals arrived home from a day away and they smelled of some one we all recognised - Mr.Zeus, or Mr.Zee as he is know known.

The Parentals had great stories to tell about how 'good' & 'cleaver' he has been whilst living at his new home.  He has learned to turn on the taps in the Kitchen which emptied the entire contents of the hot water cylinder and slightly flooded the place.  No change there then!

He is allowed to go walkies on a harness and often his Keeper takes him out in the car and for a wander around their garden.  On one particular afternoon, Mr Zee fancied a different route to the one he was being taken on and REALLY wanted to go under the gate - hims did bit and scratch and grump at his Keeper - hims got a smack on the bum, them hims grumbled some more.  No change there then!

Because he has the taste of freedom, he has also worked out how to open the front door and let himself out for a wander.  His Keeper snaffled him back into the house... the door now has to be kept locked at all times. No change there then!

When the Parentals arrived, the Keeper wasn't home and Mr.Zee was waving at them through the window, he head butted the window and promptly 'slipped off' the non existent sill. He is clutz at times. No Change there then! 

Once the Parentals were inside, he ha cuddles and fuss and lay on the floor purring and being silly, racing about showing off and being his usual charming self, laying upside down having rasberries blown on his belly.  It wasn't until the Parentals went to leave that he raced up the stairs, looked around the newael post and squeaked and chattered and ran off.  Big change there then!

We are all so happy that this super little guy has found a place in life where he is happy and the boss of a whole family and can, within reason, do pretty much what he wants. No change there then!

KS =^..^= 

START OF A NEW LIFE
Well, would you believe it? Mr.Zeus packed his bags and left home!  Really, he did.  I was giving him a good THWAKKING and he announced at mid THWAK that he was leaving and he would never see me again.  He then THWAKKED me back and got my eye and made me have a sore lid.  So, for good measure I made contact with his head and gave him a bump on it!  Then we were separated AGAIN for the upteenth tie this week and told to behave! Yeah, right.

It was on Sunday that Brett, Liza & Billy came over to collect Mr.Zeus.  Oh how happy was he ponsing about in his sparkly silver collar with a bell on.  He had watched Momma pack all of his bags and food for the next month, gather up his two favourite beds and blankets, dishes & toys. He even had his own carrier all set up and ready to go... but he decided, when the time came, to ride out on Billies shoulders and into the car without his carrier.  Oh he looked so pleased with himself as he wave good bye to everyone and hopped in beside Billy.

He had his tail held high, like a new adventure and new mates, he just didn't even give us a second look at all.  Sitting on the parcel shelf as they drove away, I swear he stuck his paw up at me, that little pip squeak.  If ever I see him again I will Thwak him so hard.... ManSlave said I ha better calm down because there could be a nice family out there who would take on a cat with a dicky Ticker, Kitty Colitis & Allergies and someone might feel sorry for me and if I didn't pipe down the RSPCA was just down the road.  He wouldn't do it - Momma would divorce him... wouldn't she?

KS =^..^=

PS: Mr. Zee as he is now known, is very happy in his new home with Momma's school friends.  he has found the highest place in the house to sleep and enjoys munching their plants!  Oh Mr. Zeus, you are such a card. It's very quiet here without you - I am sad really, we were such good mates in the beginning.  We wish you the very best of luck and glad you have a safe loving home. Faith is back to sitting on my head... you were useful at distracting her at ties like this... come back, all is forgiven!  

A TRUCE MAYBE?
I don't really know what that word means.  I seriously try ignoring Mr.Flustery Knickers but he really is giving me grief and getting me into trouble.  Really, he is!  Well, OK, so maybe I do make things a little heated between us... maybe.

This fine Sunday morning is a fine example of bird watching and Orb Worshiping all together as a family unit.  It was nice, everyone chilling out, being happy and having fun doing the same thing... then Mr.Zeus sees me when I venture to the top shelf of the CatPod to check if he is still there (kowing full well he was still there).  It was then that Mr.Fluster Pants decides that if he screams at the top of his lungs as though someone is ripping his legs off, then ManSlave will come and rescue him and I get a slapped arse. But this morning, Momma got to me first and saw that I was poking him a little to get him to scream louder and when I had one poking him, he screamed like a girl so much that I lent over the shelf bed and THWAKKED him an almighty THWAK because he was being a big girls blouse and anyone that screams for nothing deserves a THWAK and a half.  I was sorry once I had made contact, because Momma saw me and I went down in her estimations as all around me billowed Mr.Zeus's fur, she looked very disappointed that I had defuzzed him.

Well, I can tell you Momma, that I too am disappointed that there has been NO ROAST DINNERS for two weeks.  I do all this ORB WORSHIP for you and your friends and I don't even get a smidgen of Roast sensation to fill my nostrils - Nope, Momma has taken to cooking Bengal & Punjab traditional curry and ManSlave said that although the food is very very tasty and cooling in all this weather... It is de-valuing the house as it smells like Garam Masala and the kitchen sides are yellow! Bring back the good old fashioned Roast dinner I say and let me savour it's tenderness and maybe then it will set me in a better mood for less Thwakking and more loving!

KS =^..^=

BIRTHDAY SUIT

Today is Mr.Zeus's 5th Birthday.  He had quite a good day, but we didn't get a party because I have been trying to beat him up for ages now and he is so scared of me that he can't even be in the same room as me now!  It's s bit sad really, because we used to be really good mates and I really don't know what happened.  ALthough, he does try to be a bit bossy and with me not always feeling tip top in the wellness stakes and having steroids everyday - I think I am getting aggressive?

ManSlave made sure that we were all away and Mr.Zeus had the run of the house for a whole day, even though he spent most of the time looking out of the window at the top of the crows nest.  What a waste of running up and down I thought!  Lillibet came out for awhile and chased him up and down to exercise him a bit. Momma bought some special Serene-UM serum for all of us in the hope that we could all come out and be calm and relaxed and not chase him everywhere.  We also have Feliway, which is a pheromone based relaxant plug in and also some Pet Remedy sprayed in various hot spots around the home.  All of which claim that they create a subdued atmosphere with a de-stress and calming influence as well as reducing hyperactivity. 

Well let me tell you this about de-stressing lotions and potions they send us Devon Rex totally loopy.  We ran around the house for 2 hours non-stop and poor Mr.Zeus just could not take the three of us hooning about and bouncing off the walls.  He wasn't very happy, even though he had the same dose as us, in fact, the girls only had half a dose each.  I can honestly say, what would they have been like with a full dose.  We were all meant to be calm and relaxed and all it did was make us even more heightened and fast and furious. We all slept well eventually and there wasn't a peep out of anyone.  In a few weeks we have little people visiting.... I think I shall need the full bottle that night!


KS =^..^=

WONDER LUST
At last, peace and quiet in the house.  Faith has stopped yelling and gone back to being my 'silent partner'.  What's this new din?  Aggghhhhhh it's LILLIBET!!

If she is not sitting on my head, rolling around the floor or balancing on tippy toes trying to get my attention she is in with her Uncle, Mr.Zeus, and we all know that is a bit rude, but I tell you what... silence from both of them! Mr.Zeus has been sent to Coventry by all of us now, except Lillibet, who he 'tolerates'. Faith won't have him in the house any more and I am beside myself with fury when he growls at me and a huge fight ensues, so the poor berated chap is mostly in the kitten room on his own. Each day though, the Parentals take him outside and let him have a few ours 'watching birdies' from the safety of the office. So he is not totally devoid of things to do... I did notice though, that his waste line is a little fuller from not being chased and thrashed all the time!

So, to this chocolate drop kitten! Just look at the way she flounces about in MY Orb Pools?  There are never many, but she has the monopoly on everything.  We thought Faith was pushy and spoiled, but this one has twice the strength of her Mother and never takes no for an answer.  She is determined and spirited, where Faith is more 'delicate' shall we say and 'Queen' like.  Lillibet is just one spoiled Princess! Don't kiss me, kiss me, don't touch me, touch me, don't wash my ears out, wash my ears out.  Seriously, I don't know if I am coming or going. And poor Mr. Zeus is in the same boat, she strolls in, eats his food, takes his bed and he is left wondering what to do?  She is a proper little minx.  She is never mean, just downright pushy, but ever so, ever so cute!  ManSlave struggles to hold her and she wails like her legs are being pulled off and when Momma kisses her she wails and wails, but all the time rumbling with gigantic purrs that wrack her body and make her fall over - in honesty, I don't think she knows her own mind, so how the heck are we to guess?

KS =^..^= 

THE CALL OF THE WILD

Our next door neighbours have their houses up for sale, both of them actually! I sit and ponder if it's anything to do with us even though they both give valid reasons for moving.  So when they have viewings we all cram into the CatPod and look over their fence and Yawp for good measure.  Why change your neighbours when they are perfectly alright?  I have actioned that Faith and Lillibet are to call loudly and scream for England whenever a new car draws up, first from the front window and then from the back.  A calling Queen can emit her mating call for up to a mile, so screaming to reach next door is never an issue! 

Even when the girls are not in full mating battle cry, they are continually noisy. If ManSlave or Momma leave the safety of the Cat Pod and venture into the 'unknown' we can all vocalise until we are at cat crescendo.  Faith of course HAS to take it to a higher level and climbs the CatPod walls, right to the top and sends her 'findd the Parentals' scream further than anyone! Whilst she is up there, she does a bit of cleaning too and devours copious amounts of silky spiders webs.   

Mr.Zeus is not much of a Yawper, he is more of a squeaker, but what he lacks is squeaking he makes up for in Security measures and of course, he is first to tell anyone that there is a car approaching and parking up, then he tells everyone with a chirrup that they are knocking on a door or headed to the back gate, oh yes, he is an integral part of the mix.

I, as you know, am champion Yawper and there is no one to top me, but I won't just sit and Yawp for no reason, mine is all food Yawping, so the girls beat me hands down really in the noise stakes.  Although, I can put on quite a hullabaloo at breakfast time, lunch time, tea time and dinner time not to forget snax time.  They have created a monster! 


KS =^..^=

AND THEIR OFF!

Yesterday saw a great Grand National horse race.  No injuries and certainly no horses falling so badly that they had to be sent to Rainbow Bridge.

At Maystar, we were allowed to choose a horse each.  This was done by laying out the runners in the paper on the floor so that we could choose with our paws. I had my go first because I wanted to make sure that I got Seabass.  Mr Zeus had Seabass last year and won a few quid.  I had my punt on the girl jockey before Mr.Zeus chose her again... I have things to spend that money on!

Lillibet & Otello had to be taught what to do as it was their first year at choosing a pony for the race. Lillibet got into it straight away, copying Faith whilst first she studied the form and then made her choice.  Lillibet got this right away and chose a horse near her Mum's.

Otello took his time and sat for a very long time staring at the paper, then all of a sudden, he got excited and pointed to his horse and then promptly jumped all over the paper choosing lots of horses... he didn't really get the idea and wanted lots of ponies to bet on!

Mr. Zeus was right there choosing his favourite and he smirked at me saying - "you can have Seabass!" I wondered later if he had nobbled Seabass, because he was way back in the running.

Well after ManSlave chose his horse and Momma chose a Welsh one called Teaforthree who came in 3rd.  Our £1 each way sure did get minimised when we only won back £3.60!  Oh well, it's only a bit of fun.  Now what can I get for £3.60?  Mmmmm some Dreamies Cat Treats in Salmon flavour... Nom nom nom


KS =^..^=

TAKING A BEATING

Mr.Zeus is such a happy boy at the moment, he is skipping about the place, playing with Lillibet and Faith and sometimes I could Thwak that skip right out of him!  Momma and ManSlave say 'aw, isn't he sweet, like a little kitten again.' But I see him as a threat to my harem.  He is stealing my women and making out with Faith at the top of the stairs, in secret!  Well, I won't stand for it.  He walks past me with an air of authority about him and swishes his long luxurious tail in my face and I just want to eat him and his fluffy tail.  For one, what him and Faith get up to is quite disgusting... they are half Brother & Sister, it's incest! It makes my stomach churn, but I guess she is a proper little harlot and the poor boy doesn't really know what he is doing, never having been an 'actual' Stud Cat! I suppose there is no harm in it really. It stops that little minx from sitting on my head and waking me up from a tasty dream about a little Lilac queen who is fanning me with a palm branch and feeding me dried fish flakes and smoking catnip roll ups, me not her!!!

Well, a boy can dream can't he? Lillibet will be of age soon, she sure does smell good.  I can wash her and nibble her all over and Faith sits there with her eyes glowing at me, but if I try it on her she just gets narky and beats up Lillibet. Well, when I say beat up, it's more of a subtle look and a bite to the head and a bit of Thwakking.  It annoys me though when Faith sits on my head that I get mad and bite her hard on the bum, that usually ends in her writhing all over the floor and at least away from my head.  Sometimes I kiss her all over, but I have to be in a really good mood for that.  These women have to remember that Momma is my first love and all they are doing is distracting me from what I really want - Momma Love twenty four seven! But... they are still MY women first!

So I sit here, on my paws, otherwise some unsuspecting SecurityCat is gonna get another Thwakking as he skips by on three legs waving his plume like Pepi LePue. Don't push it Mr.Zeus and certainly don't do that little growling thingy right in front of me, because as you lift your nose in the air to skip away... your throat looks mighty vulnerable!KS =^..^=

THE OFFICE CAT
It takes a very special sort of cat to be an Office Cat.  You have to have patience, willing and a feline flourish when it comes to the filing.  Most of the time, us Office Cats look like we are dozing, but we are the essential hard drive (HD), random access memory (RAM) and cache needed to keep the place running.  We are taking on board thousands of terabytes per second whilst displaying and outwardly serene composure.  It is hard work processing that many instructions from our databases.  What you see, the human, is a sleeping lazy cat, laying in amongst the files and paperwork... what we are, is honed specialists in data manipulation. 

This picture is a fine example of Office Cat topology. We are connected to both the shredder and other peripheral devices within the office even whilst in stand-by mode.  Should a co-worker use any of these devices, it is our job to make sure that product is suitable for use.  Mr.Zeus must do a SecurityCat check and more importantly, a risk assessment.  The shredder is a fine example of this.  It takes Mr.Zeus all of 3.2secs to don his fluorescents and check every component from plug to button, then once he has deemed the device safe for use, Faith is waiting in the wings for her random quality checks. "When the shredder is working, hard hats must be worn." says Mr.Zeus. But Faith is in there already, paws deep, dragging out the shredded paper to make sure all bank account details are destroyed, she promptly devours any important printed text and spits out any that are irrelevant. She is a honed device all of her own that one and a real asset to the business.

When you see a cat sitting on paperwork, to the untrained eye, it is just a cat sitting on paperwork.  But to an Office Cat we are providing one of the most beneficial services known in today’s technology - scan to email and scan to file. Our document management system is totally unique. Take a closer look at the way we scan the page.

1. sit on said document.
2.Open the '3rd eye'
3. move slowly along the page (pretend you are washing)
4.Use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) to turn into usable data 
5. Transfer data to the HD.

Of course, to the casual observer, nothing is happening... but check out the eyes and you are sure to see a data stream passing accross them at rapid speeds. 

Should we fail in any area of our important positions, then we are entitled to time out and a re-boot to our over worked servers are usually in order.  It's no good overworking our parameters which will only result in chip overload or meltdown.  That's when it's time to take five on top of the printer to resume normal function!

KS =^..^=

DOWN THE DRAIN

Every night around bed time Mr.Zeus and Faith trek to the shower tray and wait for someone, anyone, to come and fill the sink up, brush their teeth or just run the water so the drain makes a noise. There is a detachable plug cover that they frequently remove and lost somewhere under the bed. Often though, they sneak off with it and leave it just outside the en-suite door where upon one unsuspecting Parental stands on it in bare feet.  This finds the two of them rolling about laughing at the pain they have just inflicted on an unsuspecting human!

There is a strict routine and woe betide anyone that tries to put them to bed early.  They whine and squeak and if it's not quite the Parentals bed time, then it is just easier to run the water quickly and give them a fix.  Sometimes though, the Parentals have a shower and this causes problems as they have to wait outside the cubicle and oh, what a noise!  Faith just squeaks and squeaks until the door opens and Mr.Zeus just goes one step further than this by trying to climb the walls using the towel rail, a boat (that is now well screwed to the wall), a bathroom cabinet and then peers over the top of the door and wants to jump into the shower with the occupant.

It is transcending to Faith's progeny too we hear!  Lillibet is getting the hang of stealing the plug cover, but Jamie, who went to Ireland in December, is a bath plug stealer too!  When Jaz & Jamie lived here they used to spend alot of time in the shower tray and have obviously carried this behaviour on to their new home. It is so funny to think that these little traits carry on over the course of Devon Rex history.  This must be in the genes, along with the tearing tissue gene, chatty gene, door balancing gene and the perpetually starving gene! Speaking of which... It is snack time at Maystar Devon Rex and I am off to get my treat ball out of the cupboard... well if they forget to put on the child lock, I may as well help myself!

KS ^   

EVERYONE HAS A VALENTINE

As you know I am a big ORB Worshiper and yet over the last few weeks there has been nothing but Orb Cover and some damp white fluffy stuff. Yesterday, I saw a wonderful Orb Rise and wondered if it may continue?  It didn't the damp white stuff proliferated our world again.

So, I ask what to Worship next? I am waiting and waiting here by the kitchen window and it feels I should be worshiping Orb Cover instead of the Orb it's self!  In all of this, waiting, I am constantly being harassed by two mad women that follow me around like some crazy fans after their Pop Idol.  It is both annoying and bothersome when occasionally Faith takes to 'sitting on me head'.  I have tried to bite her bum, but she goes into a frenzy of rolling and chirruping.  I just can't win.  

Now up until yesterday, I had been a bit poorly (but that is another story) and I had told Momma 'I am fed up with these women sitting on my head".  So she made a special extra large paper Icon of me so that Faith & Lillibet could throw themselves at my feet and worship me and sit on me without me even having to be there, leaving me to do more important things like check out the kitchen sides for a missed morsel. After the week I have had, there is no way I am missing a meal again. YAWP!  

So that was that and it worked I tell you, they came, they saw they worshiped and I could watch from a safe distance and not even be involved.  I quite like my new image with the bright green eyes and yesterday we had a little chat about the weather. He doesn't say much this papery fellow, but he sure is taking the heat of the real King Slinky.  Now to see about finding me a valentine for today.... after all this shunning of women there is only Mr.Zeus left.  Oh Mr. Zeus, do you fancy a little tete-a-tete over a few shrimps and a beer?


KS =^..^=

KUNG HEI FAT CHOY
In our home we like to follow some Chinese beliefs. One of these is the Chinese New Year and all that it brings.  This year is the Luna Year of the Snake and one that will bring great fortune and allowing to rid ourselves of old skin and have a fresh start.  So, I was wondering after our traditional lucky chicken lunch, what animals we represent in the Chinese Zodiac.  

Faith is a Rabbit. Everyone likes to be around a rabbit, they are affectionate, obliging, and pleasant. However, can get too sentimental and sometimes seem too delicate. They keep out of disputes, even if they have to turn a blind eye and walk away.  Well it says it all really, this is faith down to a T!

Lillibet was born in th eYear of the dragon.  Dragons are full of vitality and enthusiasm, Dragons are popular individuals, despite being seen as foolhardy or crazy at times. They are intelligent, gifted perfectionists that are demanding of others. Dragons enjoy attracting attention. To Dragons, rules and regulations are made only for others.  You see, this is Lillibet too.

Mr.Zeus in an Ox and at times can be chauvinistic and demanding. In fact, the strength of an Ox comes out in great shows of determination, obstinance and defense for what they believe in. Although they enjoy their private life and doing things on their own.  Well I couldn't have put him better myself!

Now there is ManSlave, he is a Lion in the Zodiac and a Tiger in the Chinese Zodiac, so a double dose of feline integrity. Tigers are sensitive, emotional and capable of great love. They are extremely competitive, especially when it boils down to honor or protecting the ones they love. They need independence but love to dominate and make great natural leaders. This is very true of ManSlave and of course he is the head of our little Pride

So what of Momma and me?  Well we are a pair of pigs and together we make splendid companions. We are intellectuals with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out. We are sincere, tolerant, and honest. By expecting the same from others, we are incredibly naive and sometimes taken advantage of. Regardless, we seldom hold a grudge. Pigs are exceptionally funny and good-humoured and will overlook other people's faults for the sake of social harmony. We love our homes and spend most of our time and energy indulging ourselves with the best of everything.  Well, just to quote 'Mary Poppins'  We are practically perfect in every way! 


KS =^..^=

BOXING CLEAVER

I have been awakened by the aroma of Roast Pork.  Well if the Parentals are trying to make up for not being home last Sunday, they sure are doing a grand job of apologizing.  My sensory buds are alive and I haven't stopped YAWPING all morning in the hope that this may bring a taste of the piggy.  I am still YAWPING unashamedly even as I type as my tummy is doing somersaults with anticipation of a singular lick of an abandoned plate!

On the subject of somersaults, Mr.Zeus and Lillibet had the funniest half hour with an old Xmas box.  Mr.Zeus was so happy to find it on the landing and made it his own.  He was ecstatic that he alone was invisible to everyone around him and he could snoop and watch Lillibet mooching about.  Well he made the mistake of moving and the shuffle drew the attentions of a very curious Lillibet who wanted the box more than Mr. Zeus and set about getting 'just what she wanted'.  Oh poor Mr.Zeus did look terribly perplexed at times as she took over his little domain and wouldn't let him back in.  Of course, no one is in the box now, abandoned for some other challenge.  Maybe I will have a snooze in it later!  Check out the BOXING CLEAVER action here

Until then, I am pounding the kitchen sides, kissing unweary foreheads as they bend to cut and trim carrots.  Making my self very noticeable by helping to stir the gravy with my paw! Really, will I ever get a piece of this smell that is driving me to distraction.  How it never effects any other cat in the house is beyond me?  Are their sensory powers of scent totally lost?  Who knows, all i know is I will continue the YAWPING until one of parentals relents and gives me the crackling!

KS =^..^=

WHO'S AFFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF?

The thing with spiders is that they seem to have eight of everything!  Eight hairy little legs, eight lives and eight beady little eyes arranged in rows to get the best view of their world.  Well to my two eyes, these wee beasites should not frequent our space.  Their space is the garage and the veggie patch.  I have seen a few bigguns galloping around there rounding up the rouge insects that get out of line.  But it is fair to say that this little fella deserved to be caught and put outside again because he actually ran at me, raising his cephalothorax and waving his pedipalps, like he was going to taste me.  I was fascinated of course and not a little bit scared, even when he tried to talk his way out of the glass by playing dead!

Mr.Zeus the ever faithful SecuriCat was interested, but said that he would have to conduct a risk assessment first before anyone should capture it and promptly left the lounge for his notebook and pen and came back herrumphing because he had been ignored.  He then proceeded to write his report from the safety of the cat post.  Well, I suppose, only fools rush in.  That would be Momma then as ManSlave was quaking in his boots.  He was comforting Lillibet and Faith, apparently!!!! Hmmm


Well, out of the door the little fella went, he bid Momma farewell and ran back to his family behind the garage door. Talking of doors.... We have had a new pane of glass fitted with a little black Devon Rex Kitten on it.  Momma designed it of course and a nice man made it for her.  It has a little butterfly and a heart and our house number.  When it was installed, Mr. Zeus thought it was a real cat and spent the whole afternoon doing his SecuriCat job of protecting the family from this monstrous black cat with green eyes.  He wasted so much energy growling and grumbling at it that by the evening, he was thoroughly worn out.  He even had Faith going at one point as she thought she was in for a bit of 'Stud Cat' only to find out it was a pretend cat and a pretend butterfly.  She disappeared upstairs with a big sigh and preceded to beat up Lillibet for asking questions.

I think sometimes, I live in a house of crazy cats and humans.  I am, of course, purrrrfect in every way!

KS =^..^=

HISSY FIT!

Where has our sweet Faith gone?  She is yelling her head off again for a boyfriend and Mr.Zeus is run ragged chasing the local Tom cats from our door.  He is prowling about the CatPod, in the snow, defending his territory - Flick Flack goes the cat flap every few minutes and a grumbling Mr.Zeus runs to the front window to see the Tom in his tux make a dash for the hedge!

Faith surprised everyone this morning with a noise as unfamiliar to us and it is to her... She hissed at Lillibet!  When she did the snakelike noise, she jumped around to see who had made it.  Lillibet was taken aback and looked very worried that her Mother had scalded her for just being in the way. Faith then proceeded to trot about the house looking for the noise, stalking and belly scraped to the floor in total fear.  I thought I had better intervene here and I must have surprised her because she hissed again and then Thwakked me because I hissed at her.  When she hissed at me she still seemed surprised at the noise.  She had been growling before the hiss came out and she has always growled since she visited Chester to be mated.  I swear she hissed at him a few times!  But needless to say, this girl is turning into a grumble puss when she is calling, but only where her Daughter is concerned.  And then as if by magic, she has forgotten all of the grumbling and hissing and the two of them are found play fighting on the landing?  Girl cats man, I just don't get them!  ::Shakes head::

I am an expert at hissing, I do it all the time, Some of you thought I was a Thwakker, well, I don't actually make contact with any one, I am an Air Thwakker!  But I do like a good hiss.  It never seems to do any good but I am very good at it!  TomFun used to make me hiss every day, he was so busy jumping around me that the odd hiss was good for his manners.  But Faith can really push me too far at times and I just have to tell her how I feel.  So, I open my mouth and say it like it is and she just rolls over in front of me, belly up and squirming away.  Such a tart.  I have never hissed at the Parentals, that really is a no no, but some one who did a lot of hissing at the Parentals was Mr.Zeus... Oh boy, when he first arrived he hissed and hissed and did the spitting thing and used his claws too.  He is a good boy now and certainly doesn't hiss at any one - he is too mellow now!  Although, I did corner him this morning and he got his head stuck in the table lamp, he did hiss a bit then, because the radio had also fallen over and the areal was sticking in his bum! He doesn't half get in a mess if you press his buttons! I skipped away on three legs and tail held high, whilst stuffing the free paw into my mouth to stop the snigger that was about to escape! Momma rescued him from his clumsy ways. 

So, from our snake like mannerisms that could set fear into the hearts of Elephants, it's all just bravardo and territory warfare between the women folk.  I will leave them all to it and just make it known that hissing is for Top Cats only and any one wants to challenge me will be air Thwakked and chased into lamps until they back off and leave me be. I may even give a hiss for good measure!


KS =^..^= 

CHASE FOR LIFE!

It's Sunday again and my nostrils have been awoken to the smell of Summer Lamb roasting in the Oven.  I can tell it's Summer Lamb as it smells a tad more goaty in the kitchen. I was in a deep sleep, contemplating life when the aroma hit me and even though my body wasn't fully awake my senses were.  It has made me all excited and I can't stop running about the house shouting for the others to get up and come and smell the smell.  You see, with the Parentals having been full of bugs and stuff, it is the first Roast Dinner since Xmas Day - so it's worth celebrating don't you think?

Well, I raced off to Tell Mr.Zeus, but there was something in the way that he looked at me this morning that made me edgy, so I Thwakked him a big Thwak and he ran like a whirlwind around the house. I think it's his tail that makes me want to chase him more and more, he fluffs it out and just runs blind with this foxy bushy tail following him and it's that I believe that turns a little light Thwakking into a household game!  Well this morning, that very game got out of hand as Faith joined in, but not just chasing Mr.Zeus but laid into me as well.  For a low violence cat, she can't half pack a Thwak or two.  She won't let up now and is pursuing everyone with blown up fur, whirlygig eyes and a voice on it like a banshee.  OMC! Her hormones are still raging and she is skittering about, thrashing everyone and protecting Lillibet (at the same time as telling her off for being so clingy!) Lillibet is cowered on Momma's lap and Faith keeps running between us and her.  "RIGHT" said Momma in a large voice. Everyone stands like statues, mid hiss and spit.  She swoops the screaming Faith up, Faith is shouting foul language at Momma, Momma talks to her in a firm voice and Faith squeaks in between screaming at anyone that dares to move! She is put in the 'Kitten Room with Lillibet'.  Momma has peeled Mr.Zeus from the windowsill where he was hiding, head first like an Ostrich, under the curtain - totally invisible to the naked eye of course!  I on the other hand, because I feel so frisky, am YAWPING at to top of my lungs because I can't understand why I have been ignored when it was my fault!  I don't get Parentals, am I not supposed to get a telling off for being a vindictive little monkey?  Nope, apparently, we are only rewarded for good actions in our house, positive reinforcement  they call it... well let me reinforce this..... I WANT WHAT I WANT AND I WANT IT NOW! Whatever it may be... Fluffy tail, more kibble, a lamb roast, Momma all to my self with out some little chocolate drop kitten cellotaped to her 24/7! YAWP YAWP YAWP 

MOTHER'S LOVE

There are some special things in this world and that is the love of your Mother.  Lillibet really is Faith's favourite kitten, it is as though she knows that Lillibet is staying with us and she also knows just how special Lillibet has been towards helping everyone in the house feel better about the loss of TomFun.  She is one of these sweet natured and delicate babies who has, in turn, gone about and cheered everyone up.  She is gentle and kind and has been sticking to Momma like glue - no one, not even me, can get in between them. 

Lillibet has also taken it upon herself to lick every one of us in turn and dry our tears. Even Mr. Zeus!  Well in fairness, Mr. Zeus seems more than a little bit happy that TomFun is no longer and has skipped around far too many times around the house shouting "Gone is my Nemesis." Purrsonally, I think it is a little OTT and he should at least wait the alloted time before celebrating.

I, on the other hand have been quiet and sedate and not Yawped much at all and we all forgot it was Sunday today as there was no warning smell emanating from the oven to my nostrils telling me which day of the week it was. There wasn't even a hot meal cooked and in fact, for a whole week we seem to have gone without hot food cooking.  Well there is no point in Yawping for lettuce sarnies now is there?  I hope things pucker up around here soon otherwise it may be another call to CatLine to tell them of my nostril starvation!

KS =^..^= 

THE TELLING OF FUNNY JOKES

It all started when Mr.Zeus and I were confined to the kitchen for a few days, we were chatting about TomFun and how he is being held up in the coldest room in the house, the Bathroom!

The little room is above the garage you see and it often drops to 20degrees, so in a way it is preparing him for 'shedlife' we said.  We were discussing the ins and outs of his torture and I said to Mr.Zeus "What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?"  Ummm, I dunno says Mr.Zeus with a furrowed brow "An eskimew" I retort.  Well, we fell about laughing in that sort of non breathing sort of way, you know the one!

Mr.Zeus, not to be outdone came out with, "I bet they are feeding him Mice Crispies for hims breakfast".  That was it, paws over our mouths, sniggering like buffoons.  "If it was a hot bathroom" I said "He may want a Mice Cream Cone". That was it, Mr.Zeus was holding his rotund tummy and letting out raucous laughter, barely able to breath! It was hillarious and we just went on and on until our sides split and we couldn't control our muscles in our stomaches any more and we lay like a pair of washed out rags, heaving every so often to get a breath. I know it perhaps doesn't seem funny now, I guess you really had to be there!

KS =^..^=

TIME TO SAY NO!

There it was, a special catnip mouse made especially for us by Mc Grumpy & Snuffles and they sent some Kitty Marbles for us to taste - turkey ones!  Well, they were all obviously for me and not TomFun, but TomFUn thought they were for him.  We did growl and spit a bit over the Molly Mouse and TomFun got all excited and started bouncing around and trying to steal it.  I was in the process of making it all soggy and wet and he snuck in and took hold of the corner and pulled.  I gave him my biggest YAWP ever and then Thwakked him really hard! "MINE" I shout. "MINE" he shouts and a tug of war ensues.

Well Momma finally intervened and took it away.  TomFun in dispute went and peed in the lounge and on Momma's desk and in the bathroom - twice!  Oh dear, TomFun is no longer a kitten when it comes to losing a tug of war.  He is a big pussy cat with very big air bags!  He didn't only have a fight with me but mounted ManSlaves arm and bit him very badly on his hand whilst gyrating and screaming.  Poor ManSlave, he is loosing his one and only friend to testosterone overload.

So now there is talk of him and Mr.Zeus having a bachelor pad outside with a colour TV, washable chair and beer fridge, oh wait, I am sure it was the boys to go out and not ManSlave!  Well either way, they are to have a home from home that can take any amount of piddling.  TomFun just needs his own place soon and if Mr. Zeus fancies doing his security role out there to keep him company, I could find myself inside with two screaming women!  I am not quite sure what sounds more appealing as when Faith and I am sure, soon Lillibet, will be sitting on my head again and I will wish I was in the bachelor pad with lads!

Oh and just to add to this Sunday Blog.  It seems that the traditional roast dinner went astray today.  ManSlave saw a recipe for something else and it wasn't meat!  I mean, what is Sunday without MEAT!  I will be putting in a complaint to CatLine as I had nothing to YAWP about all day.  It was cruel and uncalled for... role on next Sunday please and don't do it again Parentals or I shall make that phone cal

KS =^..^=

FRUIT SALAD 

Today, Mr.Zeus had a great introduction to a trio of Kiwis.  Not the fruit, but the lovely people of Catfords, NZ.  He was very excited, because his original 'DAD' was a Kiwi and I think he found the whole experience quite relaxing.  It must have brought back memories of his kittenhood to hear the accent and he sure did get all excited and even let them pet him and kiss him.  All at once he forgot himself and stood on the lady Kiwi shoulders and chatted to the man Kiwi.  He really did make a huge effort to welcome them to England and our home.

COUNT DOWN BEGINS

I can even count on my paw the days we have to wait until Bubba Invasion - it's 7 whole days!  No doubt there will be more food heading into the kitten room and nothing but small nappy sackfuls of the 'brown' stuff coming out! I have also noticed that routine has changed, this is not good at all.  Usually, we are able to escape from the kitchen at around 7.30am and hang about until 8am to be fed.  But now, Momma is letting Faith out for a wander around the top floor and a quickie play on the landing.  Us boys can hear her of course and think it's highly unfair that our morning ritual has been substituted for hers!  She even gets fed before us, even though she has snax on tap?  I don't understand? YAWP!

Yesterday ManSLave caught Faith launching herself from her cat post, so he shortened it.  She was climbing to the very top, balancing in the 3" post and then trying to Thwak the rosette hanging on the ceiling.  She was in trouble with ManSlave and squeeked and squeeked when he took the top half away. 'No' he said, laughing at her having a tantrum.  I was allowed in to visit as well yesterday (food was locked away).  She looks really pretty, I still love her and give her an affectionate kiss (whilst looking over her shoulder to check the food is still there).  She looks demure now that she has eaten all that food, but really is it necessary to waddle so?  I said "hello chick - you look well!" She purred at me,"Thank you Slinky".  I say, "You look kinda, kinda round?"  "Mmmm" she says, raising an eye brow, "I am meant to look like this - I am expecting you know".  "Yeah" I say, looking clueless "what are you expecting?"  "KITTENS SLINKY, KITTENS" she shouts.  Oh my, her hormones must be raging? "Sorry" I say trying to cool her temper, I look down and mumble "I was hoping it was a bag of food!"  She tuts at me and I ask to leave.  So much for THAT visit going well and her sharing her snax with me.

It suddenly dawns on me that we may, as a family, be expecting these illusive kittens after all and it not just a ploy to make her fat to wind me up.  I was lucky to get a visit really then.  When Mr. Zeus visited, he did get a bit excited at finding his heated bed again, he felt bereft when it was removed from the kitchen and replaced with the smaller version, he can only just get his body in that one!  There he was all happily mooching around when Faith says, very politely.  "Um, would you refrain from stinking my bed up please and kindly leave." He lays down and ignores her, so she calls TomFun and asks "TomFun, kindly remove 'Securicat' from my bed, he is making it stinky"  Sure thing Faith. He bounds over to the kittening box, like Tigger... BOING.  "OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT" TomFun screams and boings all over poor Mr.Zeus until he finally relents and runs out hissing obscenities at the young buck.  "I did it Faith" he announces.  "Good" she says and gives him a thorough pasting for being in her room!  Poor TomFun, he was only doing as he was asked.  Girl cats man, you never know if you are on your arse or your elbow....  Mmmm, do cats have elbows?

KS =^..^=

NEVER OVER INDULGE!

After a long night, a very, very long night, where Faith kept Momma awake with invisible flies until 2am and the timer going off in the kitchen at 4.34am and the neighbours dogs barking at 6am, it was time to get up!

Mr. Zeus had spotted an old collar used when he could go in the garden and he wanted to wear it because it signifies wanting to 'go' in the garden! You see Momma has been painting on the sides of the kitten box and the CatPod is off bounds, so Mr. Zeus thought by wearing his collar it might give him a 'garden pass'.  It didn't!  ManSlave was busy in the kitchen and because Mr. Zeus was being so cute, he let him 'help himself' to the biscuits whilst we were sleeping.  He over indulged himself, something he never normally does, but he had been peeky with his Flu Jab so was making up for lost time.

1hr later, there is an unfamiliar sound coming from the lounge, on top of the cat post.  it's Mr.Zeus deciding that he really didn't need all that food in one munching and allowed it to vacate his body the way it went in. Lovely.  All down the cream cat post, the wall, the windowsill, the floor - everywhere!  That was it, I was awake like a flash.  The smell of food invading my nostrils.  Momma runs to the kitchen to get the 'Juan Sheet' kitchen roll.  I, in an instant flash of starvation devour all of the above and am licking my lips by the time she arrived with sprays, carpet cleaner, steamer & 'Juan Sheet'.  I see her eyes flash - Oh no, that's not a good sign, I am in trouble, but my self preservation kicks in and my stomach is by no way near full and I YAWP, "any more?"  She sweeps me up, puts me in the en-suite with a litter tray, bowl of water and a prison bed.  I YAWP and YAWP until I am a little hoarse! Momma leaves the house to count to 10! You see, I am on these very expensive pills for my tummy and I have just ruined a whole weeks hard graft, but I don't care, my YAWPING hole is empty and I shall fill it as I see fit.  Woe betide any one that stands in the way of me and my food!  Well, I am not in my prison for long and as soon as I get a reprieve, I remember where a little biscuit had fallen behind the radiator, I bet the Parentals missed that one. I head in that direction and get me a free snack.  I will never stop until my tummy explodes.


KS =^..^= 

A TRIP TO THE VETS!

Oh no, it's that time of year again for the annual boosters and health checks.  We had to go in two lots because Momma could only take two at a time, so TomFun & Mr. Zeus headed off for a poke and a prod from Katy the lovely happy Vet.  She firstly chatted to Mr. Zeus about his unfortunate happening with a set of keys and a paw that stretched back to January, I know she has the records but it's nice that she asks him.  "Can I see your paw" she asks "No" says Mr.Zeus and snatches it back.  He has his ticker checked and his tummy checked, after the incident with the 11" of ribbon munched one Xmas, we don't take any chances.  He also had his microchip checked because it went very sore.  So with his all clear he got a stick in the arse with his booster. Poor Mr. Zeus always in the wars.  You never guess what happens then... he goes home and catches a dose of flu symptoms, poor poor Mr. Zeus, he is the unluckiest cat EVER!

TomFun had more luck.  He wowed the crowd in reception with his dancing jig on his cat carrier and then swooned with the Katy and her nurse.  he had his ears checked, because they get mucky, but that's it - muck. And he had his allergy symptoms checked and is allowed a little anti-histamine if he gets a bad 'pollen' day.  But all in all he has a clean bill of health and stunned his audience with a strut of his newly furred 'airbags'.  Katy was so happy because he is 'hooge' now!


So what of me???  Well I have a reprieve until Monday, I shall let you know how I got on.  Bet I can beat TomFun in the swooning department!