MEASURED OUT


It occurs to me that I have been cheated out of food.  Really, it just pinged into my head last night when I was given a weighed out portion of 20g of food.  You know, I never questioned it before, but since metric has been introduced into the UK I am missing out on Noms as I am sure that the 20g was actually 20oz.  Seriously, I don't josh when food is concerned, but I think the rations have shrunk considerably.
So I really should be receiving 566.99g of kibble and my pitiful 85g of steamed chicken should actually be 2409.71g  and with both of these I get them three times a day in small meals, so you can triple that amount!  That's why I am perpetually hungry and half starved, not to mention fading away!

ManSlave was telling be about UKIP and maybe they have the answer for me so that I could get my metric Momma sorted.  But I don't really get that having a 'long sleep' is really going to help my cause, as all that will happen is I wake up and the same old 20g of this and 85g of that is proffered during the day or in the auto feeder for me to snack on.  No one can live on snax, especially me.  I am on the go 24/7 and this morning was no exception!

I woke up early and made a substantial amount of noise, I am in the office as the Parentals need some sleep and I can't share faith and Lillibets food and I beat up Mr.Zeus... anyway, I digress.  I was awake and my tummy was rumbling.  I figured that a 6am start for the house was needed, the real reason was I had made space in my tummy by filling up my tray and that makes me starving right away... so I began to YAWP and YAWP for brekki. My Auto Feeder would not be willed open, no matter how I stare at it and I could smell the 7am snax, but I was hungry NOW!  One very tired Momma came and told me to get back to bed, but she nearly gagged on my gasses, so I got to go back to bed with her - bonus! Continual purring for an hour until the machine opened and then another hour and then another hour of purring until 8am until real brekki at 8am - well, I say real in jest now, under the circumstances of Metric!

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ORB-DAYTIOUS

Serious amounts of Orb Shine here over our CatPod.  It has shone all day with out Orb Cover and on a weekend.  The only issue is that cold meats and salad were on the menu today instead of the usual roast dinner. Although a bonus bit of raw turkey mince sauntered my way last night as Momma threw bits of it to us whilst we gathered at her feet.  Lillibet and Faith were non plussed by the gloopy stuff falling from the sky, but my licker made good any that went awry. Today we got morsels of ham fat and lettuce.... phaaaa, well, I did try a bit but I really only did it to please, honest!

So the Orbtastic weather has brought out it's Orbness in all her glory, shining down on the Worshipers with such Orbosity that one needed shades to fend of the Orbatious rays. Some say that *Orbage has occurred, but on looking up the word in the modern dictionary it only serves that women all over the country have maybe exposed theirs to the Orbtasical wonder that is our Universe, but I kept mine safely covered. Well I don't want to expose myself so much that the frenzied Maystar Women indulge their passion for head sitting and bum waggling do I?.  Orb is Orb in any form and the luxury and happiness it brings is Orbalicious! I for one an glad I stuck to my original plan of Worship or be Worshiped!

KS =^..^=

*Just like cleavage but when more of the full three dimensional nature of the boobs is on display.  Taken from the Urban Dictionary 2012

NINE LIVES

I have somehow managed to make my 7th Birthday, I say 'managed' because I have been in trouble so many times this year I sometimes wonder if I have any lives left?  I had a great Birthday and invited all my Facebook Cat Friends over for a 'secret cat party in the ether' and at home we played a good game with the new toys that Grand Mew Mew posted in time for my special day.  I also had a chicken cake with a candle that I nobbled before I even made a wish!!! See another life gone!

Momma had opened all of the windows to air the house and put up the grilles on the windows with velcro. Faith saw the parentals in the garden and started to climb the screen.  the Parentals were laughing at her.  The parentals moved their garden pruning to the bottom of the garden and during that time Faith made her escape.  Well, I had to have helped because, I can push the windows open, being heavier. It was then that Lillibet, Faith and I slipped out of the window onto the CatPod Roof which was only a foot drop and began to trot about YAWPING!  The parentals didn't pay any attention of course because we are always noisy, but ManSlave got curious because he could hear Faith 'on' the wire of the CatPod and he wanted to see her climbing it as she does.  It was then that he saw she was on the OUTSIDE of the CatPod and Lillibet and I were on top of the CatPod.  Faith was squeaking and climbing up and down eating cobwebs.  

After extracting Faith from the outside, the Parentals raced upstairs to call us in through the window again, but we were too busy wanting to YAWP and wouldn't come in, so ManSlave had to get the big ladders out to 'rescue' Lillibet and I from the roof.  We were rolling around in stitches whilst they went to all this trouble.  Once he got the ladders up and 'saved' Lillibet - I ran back and hopped through the window.... I am so cleaver! I think I may have lost another of my nine lives if Momma could have caught me!

KS =^..^= 

THE TAIL OF TWO KITTIES

It was a month ago on the 21st April that I wrote a blog about 'Colour Matching' and little did I know then that two days later the little colour matched cat 'Otello' would no longer be with us or chasing Rainbows on the stairs again. 

It's hard to write a blog about something that happened so suddenly and especially as everyone in the house has been sobbing and mewling since he went to Rainbow Bridge.  The shock has been overwhelming and all our dreams of a special boy, with highly researched pedigrees and no health issues ended so tragically with an accident that rendered him so poorly he didn't make it through the terrible treatments he underwent. 

When TomFun passed from here to Rainbow Bridge in December, we thought our world had ended there, but Momma was brave and struck out on an adventure to get us a new kitty, even though she didn't want to, she did it for the girls so they didn't have to play out with other Tom Cats around the country.  She did it because she wanted new bloodlines and in the future help other Devon Rex breeders expand their lines too.  I see her all brave, drying her eyes and ManSlave sniffling (he says it hayfever... Mmm)

TomFun had 'been' in the house since he left us physically, you could hear him in the bathroom and this is where his picture hangs and this is where the Parentals are found talking to him every day. When Otello arrived he met TomFun's Spirit on the landing and Momma actually said to him "Don't you take him Tommy PeePee, he is not yours to play with". But a month to the day we brought him home, TomFun took Otello by the paw and together they left for Rainbow Bridge for good, running and jumping and playing together, leaving all of us behind without a backward glance.  Momma said, well I suppose at least Tommy is happy now and not on his own.  I am not so sure, I think he waited for a little friend to come along. On TomFuns last day I remember him playing wildly with Lillibet, James & Jasmine, he was always so young at heart. We think that's why he stayed around for Otello, he just knew and didn't want him to be alone and scared!

TomFun loved his white Ratty and when Otello came, he came with a grey Ratty. They are a reminder of where they are together physically and in spirit. Each year as the daffodils flower we will remember our dear friends and their families where they came from.  We are all so sad and everyone tells us that time is a healer, I guess it is, but that doesn't stop the pain and the hurt and the fear.  Forever in our hearts boys.

KS =^..^=

THE TROUBLE WITH LICKERS!

I smelled it being cooked, Spaghetti. I waited until Momma served it up for ManSlave with the special sauce of which the leftovers made it to the fridge, but I still had my eye on the Spaghetti water! So off I trotted as soon as they left the kitchen and I sampled me some of the lovely water. Mmmm, I was engrossed and totally fixated by it's starchy water. That will make my movements a little more rapid I thought as I supped it down and I don't mean the running around the house type!

ManSlave thought he heard a noise, a licking noise to be precise, so he ventured back into the kitchen to find me, head in pan, with licker set to full speed.  I didn't hear him, my head was so far in the pan that the sound of my licker pounding away at the water was enough to deafen me temporarily.  I am usually smart and hear them coming and sit as far away from the offending steal as I can, looking nonchalant and a face that says 'ME?'

Well, I have now been installed in the Parentals bedroom with the dreaded PINK TRAY! I am not happy about it, especially as they put in newspaper litter in instead of the normal Ever Clean stuff.  Momma said it was too expensive for me just to waste my innards on! Herrumph.


KS =^..^= 

SUNDAY STEALERS

It doesn't take a genius to steal, but it does if you don't want to get caught!

The Parentals decided that a full on Roast Dinner was out of the window this Sunday because they got up late. Oh it's OK, we were fed on time, I made sure of that by waking them up at 5.38am and sitting on their chests until one of them spluttered due to lack of air - well I am am 4k.  If they don't get up then, I sit on the 'full bladder' section and move my feet ever so slightly until it gets the desired effect! 

So, what treats for lunch? They had ham and mustard toasties with tomatoes and lettuce. Oh this is good, ham is good to steal and Faith is one top ham lover.  She is a dab paw at getting a tasty morsel out from under the unsuspecting noses of those Parentals.  She will ask politely for a taste of her favourite ham and when it's not given right away she has a mini tantrum right there and then, screwing her face up and squeaking and stamping paws until she is given a piece.  Lillibet is in on the action now and hooks herself a piece of ham fat that is laying about on the ham paper, but instead of eating it she proceeds to throw it up in the air and play with it.  I Thwak her and reprimand her saying that "Food is not to be played with".  She is such a kid!

I am not meant to have ham at all due to my tummy issues, but I distinctly remember seeing that my chicken tins have 20% ham in them... so why, oh why, can't I have me some as well? ManSLvae thinks I can't see how he sneaks little bits to Faith, do they think I am really dumb?  Well, we showed those Parentals how dumb we all are.  It only took a small diversion of the phone and then a discussion about who was on the phone to allow us to invade their ham packet.  Lillibet was flicking bits of leftover ham all over the place, I was catching them. Faith was just picking out the bits she desired and of course they are devoid of fat!

Well in just a few seconds, we had polished off all of their 'left overs' and had us a very tasty meal. Thanks Dumb Parentals! 

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THE CALL OF THE WILD

Our next door neighbours have their houses up for sale, both of them actually! I sit and ponder if it's anything to do with us even though they both give valid reasons for moving.  So when they have viewings we all cram into the CatPod and look over their fence and Yawp for good measure.  Why change your neighbours when they are perfectly alright?  I have actioned that Faith and Lillibet are to call loudly and scream for England whenever a new car draws up, first from the front window and then from the back.  A calling Queen can emit her mating call for up to a mile, so screaming to reach next door is never an issue! 

Even when the girls are not in full mating battle cry, they are continually noisy. If ManSlave or Momma leave the safety of the Cat Pod and venture into the 'unknown' we can all vocalise until we are at cat crescendo.  Faith of course HAS to take it to a higher level and climbs the CatPod walls, right to the top and sends her 'findd the Parentals' scream further than anyone! Whilst she is up there, she does a bit of cleaning too and devours copious amounts of silky spiders webs.   

Mr.Zeus is not much of a Yawper, he is more of a squeaker, but what he lacks is squeaking he makes up for in Security measures and of course, he is first to tell anyone that there is a car approaching and parking up, then he tells everyone with a chirrup that they are knocking on a door or headed to the back gate, oh yes, he is an integral part of the mix.

I, as you know, am champion Yawper and there is no one to top me, but I won't just sit and Yawp for no reason, mine is all food Yawping, so the girls beat me hands down really in the noise stakes.  Although, I can put on quite a hullabaloo at breakfast time, lunch time, tea time and dinner time not to forget snax time.  They have created a monster! 


KS =^..^=

ODE TO THE ORB

When you shine your Orb Light down
It makes me bow and remove my crown
I love the way you warm my torso 
Oh Orb, I love you all the more so
Come shine your special Orb light on me
Shine so much, I can not see
I am blinded by my love for you
In your light I sit and mew...

The more I Worship the more I gain
sometimes, oh Orb, you wax and wane
I sit and wait for your seductive light
I have made it my eternal right
You are my Orb forever more
Shine down on me through window and open door

Come into my home and bless my soul
Enrich my life and make me whole
Shine on my friends and make them jolly
Your love for me, I know, it's folly
I see you venture to pastures new
The Orb Cover comes and spoils my view

I try so hard to be a good student
I sit and wait and be very prudent
But some days you do not come at all
I patiently wait in the lower hall
For a glimpse of your round and loving light
Because soon it will be dark and moonless night

I can't wait another day
For you to finally come my way
I need you Orb, you know it's true
I will Yawp and Yawp until I am blue
I will stamp my tiny paws up and down
Then relent, and readjust my crown.

You may not be here tomorrow
My heart already fills with sorrow
But one day you will treat me fair
I will be waiting for you all naked and bare
I will be ready with my lotion on
Ready for you oh gracious one

KS =^..^=

A WEEK BEHIND

We all said it, Lillibet is a week behind everyone else in her litter.  She didn't eat solid food until a week later, she didn't run as well as the others until a week later but oh boy has she found her feet now!

At nearly 8 months old, she is well into her second call, and is bellowing like a small bullock at pasture! The noise that one little cat can make is astounding! She starts off all chirrupy and sweet then shouts, then a sound is emitted that is so low that it penetrates the very fabric of our home and makes it vibrate.  It's at this time I go and hide, because in two or three minutes later I am being set upon for some fancy licker work that would shame a Bishop! No matter how I try and control my licker it just seems to come untamed like a snake out of a basket to a merry tune and away it goes.

It's not the most attractive scene in the house but she is so endearing and NEVER sits on my head like her Mother Faith! So I have to entertain the little chocolate baby and make her happy.  I can say this though, I would much rather a big bowl of Noms!!! YAWP!

KS =^..^=