A PLACE FOR EVERYONE:-
Here we all are, stackable cats, notice that I am now Bottom Cat, Faith is Middle Cat & Lillibet is Top Cat.  This is how it has been for awhile now, the Chocolate LilliLongLegs has taken over the Pride and I seem to be at the bottom of the pecking order for now....

I have had special rights, sleeping in Momma's bed whilst ManSlave was sleeping in the Kitten Room, with no one! He wanted some peace and Momma been busy on the PC until late. Well, last night, I fancied sleeping in with ManSlave and wouldn't leave the bed... he let me! Yes, under the paw finally ManSlave - I am TopCat! ::blowing rasberries::

Well, it only lasted a few hours as the 'CatWomen' were screaming for a BoyCat or two in the kitchen, right below the kitten room at 4.30am.  They wouldn't shut up, nor would they stop swinging on the door handle and pressing their faces to the gap under the door... they were just frantic to escape and get to me, the hunk of a cat. But I was glad to be away from their attentions.  I started to drift back to sleep, dreaming of the stud muffin I am, when I felt a drifting feeling, a bit like euphoria, but then I realised I was being carried.  Carried... I woke up quick smart and started YAWPING... Early Noms I yelled, ManSlave is bent to my will and he is carrying me to my breakfast dishy!

Oh how wrong can a guy be?  He was not treating me to early Noms, but throwing me to the Pride of hungry women in the kitchen, the marauding CatWomen who were waiting to tear me limb from limb, he sacrificed me, that ManSlave, sacrificed me for his own peace and sleep! How could he? I have gone from hero to zero in one push through the door, I am nothing but a play thing and a tool for that ManSlave to use as he pleases... But like I do, I THWAKKED those little biatches into shape and made them kowtow to me, I bit them and made them scream and then they were putty in my paws.  I think I will be more choosy where I sleep in future.

KS =^..^=

WHO HAS HOGGED ALL THE NOMS?:-
Well I never, a baby Hedgehog has come to our garden and we are all so excited, we haven't seen Hogs for ages and wondered if their decline was a lack of food?  But it appears not to be so, as only last week Momma found a big Hog in the Hebe, routing about for worms.

But todays Hog is a baby Hog and he was so cute.  Lillibet saw him first and came and told me all about this strange prickly thing that was routing about our gravel outside the CatPod.  Momma thought he looked a bit peckish and really he shouldn't be awake during the day, so she made him supper of OUR CAT MEAT!!! He happily munched on a packet of our best food and race off for a nap in the bushes ready for his night time adventures, more befitting of a Hog!  

Of course, I complained that the baby Hog was getting OUR NOMS and spent the next 10mins YAWPING at the top of my lungs to make sure everyone knew how hard done by I was at not having my own Noms on a tiny plate!  I made low Yawping noises that made me sound like a stud cat in full call.  I made the roof of the CatPod vibrate with the severity of it and the darn right cheek of Momma feeding baby Hogs IN FRONT OF ME!  Not only this happened, but the Parentals had beef for Sunday lunch and I didn't get a taste of that either!  A phone call to cat line is in order here, soon there will be hundreds of Hogs roaming our garden, all lined up waiting for our NOMS!

I heard that in North Uist and other Outer Hebridean 
islands that Hedgehogs are a threat  wading bird populations as they eat their eggs and they were once eradicated from the Islands but are making a return again.... well, perhaps this is what is happening here, they will come and take over our NOMS!
I wonder, is this why the Scots have a 'Hogmanay' Festival? A festival for Many Hogs?

KS =^..^=

NAME CALLING:-
Yet again, my lack of fur has deemed me to be pigeon holed into the 'Sphynx' category.  Honestly, I am one hundred percent, genuine Devon Rex although, I am easily mistaken for my naked cousins and so what, we are quite similar and it's nice to be different and I never take offence!

Only today, Momma heard something that made her Meow Out Loud, that a certain cat named Oberon, should have been stamped at birth with a government health warning! The very same could be said of me.  We could be blood brothers, cattitude fellows, mischief makers and shakers.  This Oberon sounds like my kind of catmate.  His owner said that there should be 
paper work enforcing an age restriction for the humans... We are seriously high maintenance us cleaver clogs cats, hard work and good fun in equal measures. 

Momma has tittered about the event all day and it really has struck a cord in me too.  Note to self, I really must try harder to gain superior status amongst my Feline counterparts as I, really, am the only cat with a Health Warning!  There can't be anyone else out there as meticulous at food theft and plate licking as me? There really can't be any other Feline with my aloof attitude and outragious behaviours... can there, CAN THERE?

Oh, and I have to state, that on Sunday, I stole me a piece of that delicious Turkey, it was sitting idle on Momma's plate.  Lilibet informed me of it's whereabouts and I raced in, full tilt, onto the sofa and off the sofa with said Turkey in 'Gobblely Gob' and raced upstairs, where Momma Sloth chased a growling me and made me drop my prize, like some Spaniel on a pheasant shoot.  I did as I was told and was rewarded with half of my catch because Momma was laughing so hard she was crying and I mewed like a sad kitten at the loss of my Turkey prize.... Sucker, gets her every time!

KS =^..^=

GOBBLE GOBBLE:-
I woke up this morning and thought it was Xmas!  Really, I did.  It was the smell you see, the smell of Turkey.....

Oh well, that's it, I am awake, I am down in the kitchen with my face pressed up against the front of the oven, the light has since gone out and now I have to peer harder into it's dark depths and catch me a shimmer of silver foil and the look of the hump on the shelf.  That, my dear friends is all I can hope for in this here oven.  This is my life, everything I live for, the whole reason for my existence!  I will now perform a ritual dance to get me a piece of that sweet turkey in my dishy.

Firstly, I will prance and dance and YAWP like never before.  I will cavort with Momma and kiss her at every opportunity, even if it means launching my self at her from a distance, this usually gets the attention I am after, then I will jump down and flit about her feet, nearly knocking her over as we trip and cavort together and I draw her ever closer to the oven to make my intentions clear.

I will race at eye level, but occasionally, I slip and end up balanced on one paw looking dignified as though it was part of my routine.  I will sit on top of the cat post and check out the oven from afar, you see, both the heat and the smell linger up there and I have the vantage point to see and sniff in equal amounts, it is also a good launch pad for an unsuspecting ManSlave as he puts the rubbish out! Sucker - get that dude every time! 

I will endeavour to YAWP so loudly that I drown out the Sunday 'cleaning music' and eventually either I get the Sunday p around my arse (which I quite like) or the music gets turned off!  Either way, neither of them puts me off my stride. I am here on this planet for a reason and my reason is Sunday Lunch in my favourite flavour TURKEY!

KS =^..^=

FADING AWAY:-
I just can't believe that the Parentals are out all day, we are devoid of Noms and by midday we are veritably passed out with hunger.  We are shrinking before our own eyes and there is nothing we can do about it!

It's OK for the women folk here, they get to sleep in the kitchen over night and have free feed Noms, heated beds and en-suite facilities.  Where as I am locked away in the confines of the office with nothing but a water bowl and a fluffy blankie.  Whilst they are growing fatter, I am shrinking! It's very hard when your stomach is used to being fed 4 meals a day to have meals slashed from your diet with out word or warning.  Why are they not coming home at the allotted time to feed us? It's not like they are busy or anything.  We are much more important than these tenants they ramble on about.  In fact, I think if we go back a year, we might even be reading a very similar story somewhere. Time to make a phone call!

I rang Cat Line today and complained that we are waif like and again the nice lady on the phone said that 3 meals a day was totally adequate and that we have access to the outdoors, various water dishes and litter trays, what more did I want?  Well, I thought her rather rood, what I want is food on tap, no more measuring and weighing of Noms, free roam of the entire garden, not just 12ft of it and someone home all day to cuddle me when I feel worried. I just couldn't make her understand that we are all receiving substandard treatment in the wants and needs department. She thought I was being a bit OTT.  Seriously, me, OTT - yeah right!

KS =^..^=

BEAN THERE DONE THAT!
Lillibet surprised ManSlave this morning when she strode across the kitchen worktop and stole a Green Bean string! She then jumped down and placed said string bean on ManSlaves foot and squeaked at him to throw it for her.  It caused him to have a bit of a lump in his throat, because this was one of TomFun's favourite games.  She was so insistent with her squeaking that he relented and threw it for her, only for her to race off and bring it back to him in double quick time!

Lillibet then spent the whole day with her new friend and even brought it to me a few times, of course, I thought it was food and had a nibble.  Not a nice taste at all not my sort of noms at all!  My sort of noms is a big beef steak with copious amounts of tuna topping and added anchovies, now that's a snack and a half!  I have had my food change after my allergy and I do now 'eat' vegetables in the form of green peas!! Really, Peas and Venison is my new food, it is a unique blend of protein & carbs that my body likes. It's great really, I still get my chicken pouches and a sprinkling of the new food - which Momma says she needs a mortgage for!  Shrug, like I care....

Lillibet and her String bean have spent the day playing in the lounge and the last time she was seen with it, she was balanced on the top of the sofa and then String bean just vanished?  She has spent all evening 'looking', very noisily, for her lost friend.  Momma eventually got her a new one out of the recycling and off she has gone again, happy as a linty bird, string bean in moosh to annoy Faith with a new friend.  Ironically, the other bean showed up in ManSlaves shoe? Kids!

KS =^..^=

HEALTH MATTERS

Our darling little velvet girl with her Princess ways went to meet Simon the Vet from MediVet yesterday.  Momma found more lumpies in her groin and this time Momma just was not happy with them because they had gone hard and she was chewing her 8th niples raw.  Of course, when Simon felt her, they had all but vanished... but his expert touch revealed that she has an inguinal Hernia which is what Momma could feel all the way up into her groin area.  He says that there is necrosis there and eventually she will need a 'nip and tuck' to put it all right.  She is always going on about her figure as you know and she kindly asked Simon the Vet if he could take off her 'kittening belly' whilst he was at it - the problem is, she wasn't flirty or loud enough and she muffled it from under Momma's coat! If she want's to have extra slimming surgery she is just going to have to pluck up the courage and ask properly, all this hiding and shaking will just not do at the Vets, you have to show them who is boss!!!
Personally, I don't think she needs a tummy job and feel that when all the 'escaped fat' is wrangled back into it's rightful place and she is all healed, she will have that bikini 'pre-kitten' belly again that she had a year ago!

Lillibet had missed Faith so much, that when she returned home she kissed Faith all over, rubbed her body the length of her Mum's (not that this is difficult, she is longer than Faith already) Our little LilliLongLegs was just so overwhelmed she followed Faith all over the house, chirruping and purring and jumping over her and trying to engage Faith in play - Faith was so vocal when she arrive home, telling ManSlave about her 'ordeal' - she is such a Drama Queen. Emphasising that Simon had carried her, weighed her (and no man should know a ladies weight) and felt around her body with out so much of a how to do! But, she said, his only saving grace was that he smiled at her after she did 'THE FROWN' and he didn't use the FURMOMETER! 

In a few weeks the parentals will reluctantly take her in for surgery, Momma will be a mess of course, she hates being away from us babies, but knowing that Faith will be in expert paws, will be a weight of her mind... what will weigh heavy is the cost of their Summer Holiday in return for Faith's nip & tuck.  ::shakes head:: will they ever get away this year - we want a party!!!

KS =^..^=

TOO CUTE!
The Parentals have been away because it was ManSlaves Birthday and they came back smelling of these cute things. Kittens!  They had gone to Cardiff to see Chance and his brothers & sisters, but unfortunately, as is the Maystar's luck, Chance just isn't quite right as a showing / breeding kitty and ManSlave didn't want a pet kitty again, so Chance won't be coming to live with us... but this cute little bit of fluff will be staying at Lexifers to carry on a very nice line of curly coated Devon Rex Babies... Her name is Polly and she is such a poppet!

When they came home, we all expected a kitten welcoming party, but Momma explained that for one, they are too small to bring home and we don't need any more babies in the house, they have me!  The cheek of it.  

Uncle Paul had done a grand job of looking after us whilst the Parentals were away and he follows everything to the letter - Faith, of course, pretended not to each much and as soon as they were back, she ate everything Momma gave her.  Uncle Paul said, she was holding out for a fishy!!!  I had been good and quite well and my skin looks better and my eyes look better and Lillibet & I had put on a little weight and Lillibet had even grown in a few days.  She is hooge and her fur is growing, sort of sporadically, all over in little tufts.  She looks a bit moth eaten and a bit gangly to me, but the last time I said anything, she THWAKKED me really hard on my head!

Well, I can smell Kippers today, don't know what's happening about Sunday grub, but the whole place stinks of fish.... Mmmm I must go and YAWP at them to hurry up, I am feeling a little peckish and a bit of Kipper would go down nicely.  Perhaps if I am sneaky about it I can get Lillibet to go into the bin and hook a skin out for us whilst the Parentals are busy with the toast!

KS =^..^=