THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE:-
One of the hardest decisions had to be made this week as to what the parentals do about yelling CatWomen? Well, after much deliberation, they will be going in to see Simon the Vet on Monday to have a chip implanted into their little bodies which will induce temporary infertility. Now the chips they will have are not 'strictly' licensed for cats in the UK. But, everywhere in Europe and the UK it is being used on domestic cats and in zoos on a variety of mammals. Kangaroo studies show that it doesn't really stop the hormones in them, I possibly think it's because they are far too bouncy! Now bouncy makes me wonder if the Suprelorin Chip will work on Lillibet, she is always standing up like a Meercat and bounding around like a Kangaroo. I mean there are no guarantees that it could work at all and they might still be sitting on my head in a few weeks time! Oh, perish the thought. A leaping, jumping Lillibet is one thing and a door climbing, back chatter like Faith is another, but when they get together and steal my hot spots, jump over me, sit on me, rub them selves on me.... it becomes a little tiresome and I am getting rather stressed out about the whole sordid affair. I even showed my teeth to them to no avail and I am the important one here, right? The two of them together, standing with their heads in the litter tray just YAWPING and sending out what sounds like a buffalo in pain signals to every male cat in the county has got to stop. It is time for action and I will be the first to shuffle them into the carry box, complete with heated disks, fluffy rugs and numbing cream! Well that needle is huge, I am not taking any chances on them moaning about that when they come home! KS =^..^=
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THE FINAL FRONT EAR (part 2):- So where was I, oh yes, laying with my pride dented looking up into the black hole of the roof space quadrant thinking how I could join up with my CatWomen who were by now possibly in another dimension all together. It occurs to me that I am not the cat I used to be and I am a bit of a beef cake now and find climbing with my muscles protruding, quite a difficult event, not like the svelt CatWomen who's bodies are soft and agile. I ponder if it's even worth saving them from the abyss at all? After all, Lillibet has probably been assimilated by now and Faith has undoubtedly run of with a drone. I think a little nap is in order..... I drift of and start to dream~~~~~ "Lillibet" I shout, "come back." She is gone from sight, trotting forward to investigate the darkness, her lasers adjusted for such events. She comes across the Reindeer Drone who immediately initiates her into the collective and she grows antlers and a bell, she is lost to us forever, our Lillilonglegs, never to return to Planet home. Faith on the other hand escapes simulation completely as she finds herself a new male friend who she is swooning over, and hopefully their customs of 'head sitting' will be a comfort to her when she is so far away from home. He makes her a princess and takes her from the quadrant in a flash of light. Lets hope she phones home on occasion! "bye Faith" I shout "I love you." She doesn't hear me, she is on another planet! I feel my body shaking and hear my name ~~~~~ "Slinky, Slinky" ManSlave calls "Slinky, wake up." I open my eyes to see what I think is a cylops in front of me with a very hairy chest. I make a sort of squeaking noise and nearly wet my fur again. But as my sleepy head focuses, I see not a cyclops, but ManSlave in a miners light strapped to his head and a very wriggly Lillibet with sections of Christmas tree attached to her coat and a bauble hanging from her ear and A most determined Faith trying to climb onto ManSlaves head to get back onto the ladder. So after all that, I didn't have to save the CatWomen at all and a better guy than I was sent to rescue them whilst I slept. Momma said I was so selfish not to save them and bring them home. I tried to explain about the Klingon, but she was having none of it. "the only Klingon around here." she said "was the type that follow me out of the cat tray." Phaaa, she wasn't there, she didn't see our laser eyes and our warp drives in action and not only that, the cat savior of the day got a telling off for leaving the roof space quadrant vortex door open. Setting phaser to stun.... KS =^..^= THE FINAL FRONT EAR:- We are in readiness of adventure, all systems go, power at full thruster, warp speed initiated, phasers set to stun. Space; the final frontier, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no cat has gone before... the attic! We are intrepid spacecat explorers, out on a limb, climbing to our destiny, reaching new heights and conquering the depths of the black hole that is the roof space quadrant. The ladder will be our means of travel, it is fast and secure and we are up and through the vortex before anyone can say 'catmint'. There is no 'beam us up Scotty" here, we are on our own, heading for new heights unexplored by feline feet. We touch down, the three of us, Lillibet in the lead with her lazers on full beam and she guides us to the Xmas Galaxy, where we explore baubles and tinsel and reindeer drones. "be careful Lilibet" I say "They may try to assimilate you and you would become part of the collective" She obviously ignores me and her and Faith trudge deeper into the gloom. But I can't stay behind, I am too scared of the dark, so I rush to keep up and am accosted by a Klingon, who is demanding to know why I am in his territory, I scream and nearly wet my fur as this beast holds me above the vortex for a faster return journey than I intended. I fall, over and over, tumbling down and showing just how gravity works and end up back where I started, at the bottom of the ladder with the girls out of sight. I must get back to them. I start to climb,but this universe must have three million 'million' galaxies like this and choosing the right dimension can be tricky and I am only one cat! What must I do to save my CatWomen? Until next time KS =^..^= OPEN TO THE ELEMENTS:- After numerous escapes over the last year, the Parentals decided that really something needed to be done to curb our wanderings. Fresh air is very important in any cat house as we do make a few stinkies in out litter boxes! The air would be a stagnant yuck if left for long periods of time and we would soon expire without new oxygen to fill our carbon dioxide filled lungs. I know more about this than anyone and frequently I am found pressing my sniffer under my bedroom door for some kind of relief in the early hours. Well Pea and Venison food is all very well, but the stench it creates is second to non. YAWP! So look what the Momma found, some amazing velcro fiberglass panels made by Flat-Cats. Now these are genius and much better than the voiles with velcro that Momma use last year, especially as Mr.Zeus had munched a hole in one big enough for a baby Lillibet to crawl through. They just were not sturdy enough for our talented paws to ruffle and slip through. Well Flat-Cats have this great design with velcro all the way around and there is no way any of us can get through that stuff and I have to say, the CatWomen have tried quite hard. We have all resided to just sitting at the open windows and watching the world go by. Only two rooms have been done so far, so by next Summer, it looks like every room will have a net window and what a through draft we will get on hot summer nights! There hasn't been a downside yet, but me being me, always has to Yawp at something and today it's come to my attention that the Sunday Roast just wasn't smelling like it normally does... it's atomic structure has been altered and the molecular formula of meat roasting has been diluted with copious amounts of O2*. Well this isn't on! I am going to have to create me a diversion and I think a little CH4** right now will make them race for the door and hopefully leave that delicious Roast unattended just long enough for me to get my licker around it!KS =^..^= * oxygen ** methane HOW LONG IS A PIECE OF STRING:- The CatWomen have been so funny but they are now in the dog house! Lillibet has a piece of nylon string from an old cat dangler, it's kept in the side draw of ManSlaves bed. The two of them love to play fetch with it and as long as at the end of the game it is returned to the draw, all is well. Today was a busy day, GrandMewMew was staying as her and Momma were off to watch The Lion King at the Theatre and the string was not returned to the draw, but left out on the stairs. When everyone came home in the evening the string was only half it's size? The Parentals hunted the whole house for it and came to the conclusion that Faith ha eaten it as Lillibet doesn't chew things. So Faith had a dose of warm salty water in the hope that she may bring the string up from the depths. Nothing but her lunch arrived on the bathroom floor, no string. Forward a few days and Momma is still searching for the illusive string in the 'chocolate gold' - she calls it this as she sifts daily in the litter in the hope of finding real gold! But alas, it is still missing but all is well with all of us. We are doing all the usual things, eating, sleeping, creating chocolate gold. Momma has come to the conclusion that Faith and Lillibet wanted a piece each and halved the string and hid the other piece 'somewhere'. Uncle Paul is looking after us in a few days, he has been alerted to the search and is ready for all things 'string'. After Mr.Zeus's episode with the ribbon, you really would think that the Parentals would have learned their lesson. Humans ::shakes head:: KS =^..^= HEALTH MATTERS Our darling little velvet girl with her Princess ways went to meet Simon the Vet from MediVet yesterday. Momma found more lumpies in her groin and this time Momma just was not happy with them because they had gone hard and she was chewing her 8th niples raw. Of course, when Simon felt her, they had all but vanished... but his expert touch revealed that she has an inguinal Hernia which is what Momma could feel all the way up into her groin area. He says that there is necrosis there and eventually she will need a 'nip and tuck' to put it all right. She is always going on about her figure as you know and she kindly asked Simon the Vet if he could take off her 'kittening belly' whilst he was at it - the problem is, she wasn't flirty or loud enough and she muffled it from under Momma's coat! If she want's to have extra slimming surgery she is just going to have to pluck up the courage and ask properly, all this hiding and shaking will just not do at the Vets, you have to show them who is boss!!! Personally, I don't think she needs a tummy job and feel that when all the 'escaped fat' is wrangled back into it's rightful place and she is all healed, she will have that bikini 'pre-kitten' belly again that she had a year ago! Lillibet had missed Faith so much, that when she returned home she kissed Faith all over, rubbed her body the length of her Mum's (not that this is difficult, she is longer than Faith already) Our little LilliLongLegs was just so overwhelmed she followed Faith all over the house, chirruping and purring and jumping over her and trying to engage Faith in play - Faith was so vocal when she arrive home, telling ManSlave about her 'ordeal' - she is such a Drama Queen. Emphasising that Simon had carried her, weighed her (and no man should know a ladies weight) and felt around her body with out so much of a how to do! But, she said, his only saving grace was that he smiled at her after she did 'THE FROWN' and he didn't use the FURMOMETER! In a few weeks the parentals will reluctantly take her in for surgery, Momma will be a mess of course, she hates being away from us babies, but knowing that Faith will be in expert paws, will be a weight of her mind... what will weigh heavy is the cost of their Summer Holiday in return for Faith's nip & tuck. ::shakes head:: will they ever get away this year - we want a party!!! KS =^..^= TOO CUTE! The Parentals have been away because it was ManSlaves Birthday and they came back smelling of these cute things. Kittens! They had gone to Cardiff to see Chance and his brothers & sisters, but unfortunately, as is the Maystar's luck, Chance just isn't quite right as a showing / breeding kitty and ManSlave didn't want a pet kitty again, so Chance won't be coming to live with us... but this cute little bit of fluff will be staying at Lexifers to carry on a very nice line of curly coated Devon Rex Babies... Her name is Polly and she is such a poppet! When they came home, we all expected a kitten welcoming party, but Momma explained that for one, they are too small to bring home and we don't need any more babies in the house, they have me! The cheek of it. Uncle Paul had done a grand job of looking after us whilst the Parentals were away and he follows everything to the letter - Faith, of course, pretended not to each much and as soon as they were back, she ate everything Momma gave her. Uncle Paul said, she was holding out for a fishy!!! I had been good and quite well and my skin looks better and my eyes look better and Lillibet & I had put on a little weight and Lillibet had even grown in a few days. She is hooge and her fur is growing, sort of sporadically, all over in little tufts. She looks a bit moth eaten and a bit gangly to me, but the last time I said anything, she THWAKKED me really hard on my head! Well, I can smell Kippers today, don't know what's happening about Sunday grub, but the whole place stinks of fish.... Mmmm I must go and YAWP at them to hurry up, I am feeling a little peckish and a bit of Kipper would go down nicely. Perhaps if I am sneaky about it I can get Lillibet to go into the bin and hook a skin out for us whilst the Parentals are busy with the toast! KS =^..^= STACKABLE CATS There is never a dull moment here with two wild girls to contend with. If it's not Faith, then it is Lillibet! Climbing doors, curtains and shelving! Today, I heard a noise in the kitchen and wandered in so as not to mis anything. Actually, I ran! There was a cuffuffle and a squeaking and finally a loud scrabbling and as I raced in and looked up, there was Lillibet in a small box of Stella Artois Cidre, which I must say was balanced on the edge of the kitchen side and balanced on the top like a Pro was Faith. How on earth Lillibet hamanaged to scrabble into the box is unbeknown to me? But she ha managed it with the help of her Mother, who really must have been acting as ballast during the whole episode. The pair are just encourageable really. It was only last week that the 'invisible' shelves 'were' mounted on the wall in the kitten room. I say 'were', because, after a circuit race around the house, the shelves were used as a short cut from the Kitten Box to the window sill? There is 4ft at least between each leap, but round and round they went until, finally, with a crash and a thud, down came the lower shelf and deposited all of the toys and bits that Momma keeps up there. Of course the pair of whirlwinds stopped in mid-hurl to turn and look at the damage, which they estimated was not their fault at all! Faith then stalked the odd toy and gave it a tentative Thwak with her paw to make sure it was dead and announced 'Hims did it!' Lillibet is quite a sweet little thing really and if it wasn't for her Mother leading her astray, she would be a perfect young lay with good manners. Faith, is of course, well brought up and only teaches her Daughter the very best things, but Lillibet is not as agile as Faith and often something Faith can do, Lilliet just doesn't seem as graceful as she thinks she looks! She is in that teenage long legged gangly stage who of course 'thinks she can fly' - well, I can tell you from experience that she can not! KS =^..^= STUCK ON YOU Something keeps happening to me in the cat tray. It's a new one you see and I can't seem to get my feet out of the way when I pee and I keep peeing on my back paws. I normally angle one back paw half way up the tray and the other is left in the cat grit, but the cat grit just isn't soaking it all up quick enough with the angle change and I get clumps stuck to my feet and come out wearing a solid grey boot or two. I then have to shake it off or run like crazy to get rid of it. Well, yesterday in dispute of the new tray, I ran straight to the Parentals bed and rid my self of the bootie by wiping it on their Egyptian cotton sheets. As I posted on FaceBook yesterday "I am not proud of the fact that I peed on my feet. I am proud that I took the wet clumps and rubbed them off on the cream Egyptian cotton sheets. I am not proud that I had my feet washed in the sink... but I am proud that I sat on Mommas pillow to dry them off!" So there you have it in a nut shell! Now this takes me back a year or so when something similar happened to Faith! She was a baby, about 18weeks old, new to cat grit having come from a wood chip home. She did the fatal thing of stepping back after she had no.2'd ::shakes head:: and promptly came to tell Momma that she, indeed, had a pooey foot and produced it for Momma to examine. "Only one thing for that Faith" she said "a quick soapy foot wash in the sink". Being Faith's first soapy foot wash, it didn't go terribly well and all four feet, some of her tail and lots of her body also got wet! Momma went back to the accounts.... then she heard this horrific screaming and yelling from Faith. Momma jumped up and found dear little Faith with four cat grit thigh length boots on, wailing away at the top of the stairs, she had needed a peepee and re-entered the tray with her wet legs. Well, Faith was giving it some racket whilst Momma stood there laughing so hard at this tiny kitten stamping and screaming, that she could barely breath. All of which ensued with another slippery bath in the sink. Ever since that day, Faith has always been a lot more careful! I on the other hand am delighting in the fact that I am causing all sorts of trouble and will continue to pee on my feet to get attention! KS =^..^= WONDER LUST At last, peace and quiet in the house. Faith has stopped yelling and gone back to being my 'silent partner'. What's this new din? Aggghhhhhh it's LILLIBET!! If she is not sitting on my head, rolling around the floor or balancing on tippy toes trying to get my attention she is in with her Uncle, Mr.Zeus, and we all know that is a bit rude, but I tell you what... silence from both of them! Mr.Zeus has been sent to Coventry by all of us now, except Lillibet, who he 'tolerates'. Faith won't have him in the house any more and I am beside myself with fury when he growls at me and a huge fight ensues, so the poor berated chap is mostly in the kitten room on his own. Each day though, the Parentals take him outside and let him have a few ours 'watching birdies' from the safety of the office. So he is not totally devoid of things to do... I did notice though, that his waste line is a little fuller from not being chased and thrashed all the time! So, to this chocolate drop kitten! Just look at the way she flounces about in MY Orb Pools? There are never many, but she has the monopoly on everything. We thought Faith was pushy and spoiled, but this one has twice the strength of her Mother and never takes no for an answer. She is determined and spirited, where Faith is more 'delicate' shall we say and 'Queen' like. Lillibet is just one spoiled Princess! Don't kiss me, kiss me, don't touch me, touch me, don't wash my ears out, wash my ears out. Seriously, I don't know if I am coming or going. And poor Mr. Zeus is in the same boat, she strolls in, eats his food, takes his bed and he is left wondering what to do? She is a proper little minx. She is never mean, just downright pushy, but ever so, ever so cute! ManSlave struggles to hold her and she wails like her legs are being pulled off and when Momma kisses her she wails and wails, but all the time rumbling with gigantic purrs that wrack her body and make her fall over - in honesty, I don't think she knows her own mind, so how the heck are we to guess? KS =^..^= SUNDAY STEALERS It doesn't take a genius to steal, but it does if you don't want to get caught! The Parentals decided that a full on Roast Dinner was out of the window this Sunday because they got up late. Oh it's OK, we were fed on time, I made sure of that by waking them up at 5.38am and sitting on their chests until one of them spluttered due to lack of air - well I am am 4k. If they don't get up then, I sit on the 'full bladder' section and move my feet ever so slightly until it gets the desired effect! So, what treats for lunch? They had ham and mustard toasties with tomatoes and lettuce. Oh this is good, ham is good to steal and Faith is one top ham lover. She is a dab paw at getting a tasty morsel out from under the unsuspecting noses of those Parentals. She will ask politely for a taste of her favourite ham and when it's not given right away she has a mini tantrum right there and then, screwing her face up and squeaking and stamping paws until she is given a piece. Lillibet is in on the action now and hooks herself a piece of ham fat that is laying about on the ham paper, but instead of eating it she proceeds to throw it up in the air and play with it. I Thwak her and reprimand her saying that "Food is not to be played with". She is such a kid! I am not meant to have ham at all due to my tummy issues, but I distinctly remember seeing that my chicken tins have 20% ham in them... so why, oh why, can't I have me some as well? ManSLvae thinks I can't see how he sneaks little bits to Faith, do they think I am really dumb? Well, we showed those Parentals how dumb we all are. It only took a small diversion of the phone and then a discussion about who was on the phone to allow us to invade their ham packet. Lillibet was flicking bits of leftover ham all over the place, I was catching them. Faith was just picking out the bits she desired and of course they are devoid of fat! Well in just a few seconds, we had polished off all of their 'left overs' and had us a very tasty meal. Thanks Dumb Parentals! =^..^= THE CALL OF THE WILD Our next door neighbours have their houses up for sale, both of them actually! I sit and ponder if it's anything to do with us even though they both give valid reasons for moving. So when they have viewings we all cram into the CatPod and look over their fence and Yawp for good measure. Why change your neighbours when they are perfectly alright? I have actioned that Faith and Lillibet are to call loudly and scream for England whenever a new car draws up, first from the front window and then from the back. A calling Queen can emit her mating call for up to a mile, so screaming to reach next door is never an issue! Even when the girls are not in full mating battle cry, they are continually noisy. If ManSlave or Momma leave the safety of the Cat Pod and venture into the 'unknown' we can all vocalise until we are at cat crescendo. Faith of course HAS to take it to a higher level and climbs the CatPod walls, right to the top and sends her 'findd the Parentals' scream further than anyone! Whilst she is up there, she does a bit of cleaning too and devours copious amounts of silky spiders webs. Mr.Zeus is not much of a Yawper, he is more of a squeaker, but what he lacks is squeaking he makes up for in Security measures and of course, he is first to tell anyone that there is a car approaching and parking up, then he tells everyone with a chirrup that they are knocking on a door or headed to the back gate, oh yes, he is an integral part of the mix. I, as you know, am champion Yawper and there is no one to top me, but I won't just sit and Yawp for no reason, mine is all food Yawping, so the girls beat me hands down really in the noise stakes. Although, I can put on quite a hullabaloo at breakfast time, lunch time, tea time and dinner time not to forget snax time. They have created a monster! KS =^..^= BRINGING BACK MEMORIES Momma has been cleaning the kitten room today, apparently, we will be having human visitors, big and small and from all over the world. It will start with Momma's Sister that she hasn't seen for 12 years and then ManSlaves Sister from Sweden and then Momma's friend from Arizona that haven't seen each other for over 20 years! So whilst Momma was cleaning and packing away the kitten pen Momma remembered all the naughty things these naughty trio and Faith got up to!Momma washed the lamp, the one that Jaz scaled at only 6weeks old and proudly sat on the top of it waving at the others. Faith went mad and berated her for being naughty! Another time Jaz scaled the lamp and her and the lamp toppled over giving her a free ride to the bed! Momma took down the curtains to 'de-dust' them. This is when she found little holes in the lining, this was Lillibet racing up and down the scratch post and swinging on the curtains once she reached the top. all these signs will stay around for ages! On Momma went to clean out the kittening box and there she found a little piece of fluffy fur hidden right at the back of it. This was James's favourite toy and could Momma find it when he left home? Nope. Faith, of course, has been directing the proceedings and making sure that things are put away correctly and in the right order. All the kitten items are stored in the bed base, Faith had to investigate this also and went under the bed to make sure there was room. She also helped collect all of the cable ties which hold the pen together, she had about four or five in her mouth and was squeaking to ask Momma where she wanted them. She is so helpful and Momma is happy to have such a happy little helper. KS =^..^= BIRTHDAY BABE So here it is, our special Princess, 2 years old. Wow, where does the time go? She was once a tiny kitten, the only one in the family and we called her Faith. She grew into a sweet darling little soul who has Princess tantrums and literally stamps her paws when she isn't getting her own way... which is quite often! Today, she has cake and some small gifts from the Pride, nothing big and lavish, just catnip, packs of dreamies, a new scratching post (well the old one that Momma re-covered) Momma also made miniature fish cake for everyone with a candle in each one that Faith 'huffed' out and made several wishes about healthy kittens, a bigger TV in her room and not to have to go to cat shows. She was happy with the new scratch post and left it up to Lillibet & Otello to try it out, she said it was a little rough on her paws and the new barbour twist was a big grippy, she liked the old one better because she could collect all the fluffy bits that fall of it and eat them. Well I like the new one, for a big muscular boy like me, I don't feel that my butt is going to hit the deck if I miss a paw hold. Faith, Otello & Lillibet had a good game of 'Fishing Rods'. I could hear them gamboling up and down the laminate, I say hear them, because when Momma made fish cake, she forgot to return the leg of lamb to the microwave for safe keeping and I had me a few munchies of it... well about half of the flabby bit at the top. I was so full, I couldn't move. So I was parked in the downstairs loo with the PINK tray, water a heated bed and a box of wet wipes! I did do me some Yawping, then found a good magazine in the rack and continued with the inevitable. So at cake time, I had to have a chicken cake and Faith ate my portion of fish cake... well, I did ruin her Birthday by being a bad cat, she deserved my fish cake. KS =^..^= TOP DRAW STUFF Momma has been looking for Faith everywhere. She is calling "Faith honey. Bubba, Bubba fish, bubba lishy, pretty, come on bubba. Faith honey where are you?" She gave up, Faith obviously didn't want any noms for lunch. Momma then got a bit concerned and started looking properly for her. She was nowhere to be found. Earlier that day.... "Mmmm, says Faith, I am a little bored, what shall I do now?" I watch her as she looks around for something naughty to do, she starts looking around the floor in the kitchen, tapping this and that. She finds a loose piece of skirting board under the kitchen side and it's just big enough for her to squeeze through. She never came back. So, Momma is still looking and searches all the rooms. She is usually curled up on Momma's side of of the bed. Nothing. If she is not there she is usually on the radiator in the en-suite. Nothing. If not there the only other place is usually the heated bed in the kitchen. It's here that Momma bent down to see if Faith was there and saw the little piece of wood knocked over next to the dishwasher. She props it back up, unknowing that Faith had crept in there an hour earlier. Momma still can't find Faith. She is at her whits end thinking she has maybe escaped somehow. ManSlave comes home and now we all start looking. No one gives her position away of course, that would be telling. The Parentals head out... door knocking! Showing a picture of Faith to the neighbours. We all sit in the window, shrugging! The Parentals come back, upset and perturbed that Faith is missing. Momma starts to prepare dinner and goes to the tea towel draw to get an oven mitt out and who should be in the draw but Faith! Well Momma didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I think she did a bit of both. She is one pesky Devon. Faith had a mini tantrum because her sleep had been disturbed, but other than that she was quite happy to see everyone and greeted us all with her tail up. Better not get used to that, she will be back to thwakking us very soon indeed. KS =^..^= AND THEIR OFF! Yesterday saw a great Grand National horse race. No injuries and certainly no horses falling so badly that they had to be sent to Rainbow Bridge. At Maystar, we were allowed to choose a horse each. This was done by laying out the runners in the paper on the floor so that we could choose with our paws. I had my go first because I wanted to make sure that I got Seabass. Mr Zeus had Seabass last year and won a few quid. I had my punt on the girl jockey before Mr.Zeus chose her again... I have things to spend that money on! Lillibet & Otello had to be taught what to do as it was their first year at choosing a pony for the race. Lillibet got into it straight away, copying Faith whilst first she studied the form and then made her choice. Lillibet got this right away and chose a horse near her Mum's. Otello took his time and sat for a very long time staring at the paper, then all of a sudden, he got excited and pointed to his horse and then promptly jumped all over the paper choosing lots of horses... he didn't really get the idea and wanted lots of ponies to bet on! Mr. Zeus was right there choosing his favourite and he smirked at me saying - "you can have Seabass!" I wondered later if he had nobbled Seabass, because he was way back in the running. Well after ManSlave chose his horse and Momma chose a Welsh one called Teaforthree who came in 3rd. Our £1 each way sure did get minimised when we only won back £3.60! Oh well, it's only a bit of fun. Now what can I get for £3.60? Mmmmm some Dreamies Cat Treats in Salmon flavour... Nom nom nom KS =^..^= MAKING AND ENTRY It has to be said that Faith is our number one chief door opener. Unless doors are locked, she can easily jump onto the handle and open any door she needs opening. When the Parentals were away in Poland and Uncle Paul was looking after us, he was getting quite confused with the paper shreddings all over the landing floor. You see once Uncle Paul had left, Faith would let Lillibet and herself into the office and empty the shredder. They would then play with the paper all over the landing. Then at lunch time Liza, our Chinese friend, would come over and see us and close the office door again. This went on for several days! If Faith is outside a door, especially if Momma is in the room, she will again, try to let her self in. When she had kittens, she regularly let her self out - but always in the early morning for a quick cuddle before the rest of the house got up - this means two doors, but she manages very well and is extremely quick. The rest of the time there is a digery-doo under the handle - but she doesn't know this! If Momma is in the shower, Faith will climb the radiator and stand on top of the door and peer into the shower from above. She also frequently climbs the doors and often through the house you hear "Oh Faith, there you are honey". She really likes to surprise you with new places. Again on one of Uncle Paul's visits she not only opened the office door, emptied out the shredding, hole punched a few important documents, but climbed the ladder in the corner and perched on the top of the filing cabinets where Uncle Paul had to rescue her. She of course played a good damsel in distress.... poor Uncle Paul! She also climbs into the loft at any opportunistic moment and races between ManSlaves legs before he has chance to stop her. She dashes to the top and makes a bid for freedom as far as the Christmas decorations, then gets worried and trots back, squeaking all the way. She is a funny little soul and always up to no good and always teaching others naughty stuff. Take her kittens for example. Jaz & Jamie are sweet kits, but oh my, the stories that come out of Ireland about those two. Sounds like Eva's curtains are taking a beating and David is constantly at the hardware store replacing lost sink plugs! I don't think Faith will ever tire of teaching and doing extreme things. It's her nature! KS =^..^= TAKING A BEATING Mr.Zeus is such a happy boy at the moment, he is skipping about the place, playing with Lillibet and Faith and sometimes I could Thwak that skip right out of him! Momma and ManSlave say 'aw, isn't he sweet, like a little kitten again.' But I see him as a threat to my harem. He is stealing my women and making out with Faith at the top of the stairs, in secret! Well, I won't stand for it. He walks past me with an air of authority about him and swishes his long luxurious tail in my face and I just want to eat him and his fluffy tail. For one, what him and Faith get up to is quite disgusting... they are half Brother & Sister, it's incest! It makes my stomach churn, but I guess she is a proper little harlot and the poor boy doesn't really know what he is doing, never having been an 'actual' Stud Cat! I suppose there is no harm in it really. It stops that little minx from sitting on my head and waking me up from a tasty dream about a little Lilac queen who is fanning me with a palm branch and feeding me dried fish flakes and smoking catnip roll ups, me not her!!! Well, a boy can dream can't he? Lillibet will be of age soon, she sure does smell good. I can wash her and nibble her all over and Faith sits there with her eyes glowing at me, but if I try it on her she just gets narky and beats up Lillibet. Well, when I say beat up, it's more of a subtle look and a bite to the head and a bit of Thwakking. It annoys me though when Faith sits on my head that I get mad and bite her hard on the bum, that usually ends in her writhing all over the floor and at least away from my head. Sometimes I kiss her all over, but I have to be in a really good mood for that. These women have to remember that Momma is my first love and all they are doing is distracting me from what I really want - Momma Love twenty four seven! But... they are still MY women first! So I sit here, on my paws, otherwise some unsuspecting SecurityCat is gonna get another Thwakking as he skips by on three legs waving his plume like Pepi LePue. Don't push it Mr.Zeus and certainly don't do that little growling thingy right in front of me, because as you lift your nose in the air to skip away... your throat looks mighty vulnerable!KS =^..^= THE OFFICE CAT It takes a very special sort of cat to be an Office Cat. You have to have patience, willing and a feline flourish when it comes to the filing. Most of the time, us Office Cats look like we are dozing, but we are the essential hard drive (HD), random access memory (RAM) and cache needed to keep the place running. We are taking on board thousands of terabytes per second whilst displaying and outwardly serene composure. It is hard work processing that many instructions from our databases. What you see, the human, is a sleeping lazy cat, laying in amongst the files and paperwork... what we are, is honed specialists in data manipulation. This picture is a fine example of Office Cat topology. We are connected to both the shredder and other peripheral devices within the office even whilst in stand-by mode. Should a co-worker use any of these devices, it is our job to make sure that product is suitable for use. Mr.Zeus must do a SecurityCat check and more importantly, a risk assessment. The shredder is a fine example of this. It takes Mr.Zeus all of 3.2secs to don his fluorescents and check every component from plug to button, then once he has deemed the device safe for use, Faith is waiting in the wings for her random quality checks. "When the shredder is working, hard hats must be worn." says Mr.Zeus. But Faith is in there already, paws deep, dragging out the shredded paper to make sure all bank account details are destroyed, she promptly devours any important printed text and spits out any that are irrelevant. She is a honed device all of her own that one and a real asset to the business. When you see a cat sitting on paperwork, to the untrained eye, it is just a cat sitting on paperwork. But to an Office Cat we are providing one of the most beneficial services known in today’s technology - scan to email and scan to file. Our document management system is totally unique. Take a closer look at the way we scan the page. 1. sit on said document. 2.Open the '3rd eye' 3. move slowly along the page (pretend you are washing) 4.Use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) to turn into usable data 5. Transfer data to the HD. Of course, to the casual observer, nothing is happening... but check out the eyes and you are sure to see a data stream passing accross them at rapid speeds. Should we fail in any area of our important positions, then we are entitled to time out and a re-boot to our over worked servers are usually in order. It's no good overworking our parameters which will only result in chip overload or meltdown. That's when it's time to take five on top of the printer to resume normal function! KS =^..^= DOWN THE DRAIN Every night around bed time Mr.Zeus and Faith trek to the shower tray and wait for someone, anyone, to come and fill the sink up, brush their teeth or just run the water so the drain makes a noise. There is a detachable plug cover that they frequently remove and lost somewhere under the bed. Often though, they sneak off with it and leave it just outside the en-suite door where upon one unsuspecting Parental stands on it in bare feet. This finds the two of them rolling about laughing at the pain they have just inflicted on an unsuspecting human! There is a strict routine and woe betide anyone that tries to put them to bed early. They whine and squeak and if it's not quite the Parentals bed time, then it is just easier to run the water quickly and give them a fix. Sometimes though, the Parentals have a shower and this causes problems as they have to wait outside the cubicle and oh, what a noise! Faith just squeaks and squeaks until the door opens and Mr.Zeus just goes one step further than this by trying to climb the walls using the towel rail, a boat (that is now well screwed to the wall), a bathroom cabinet and then peers over the top of the door and wants to jump into the shower with the occupant. It is transcending to Faith's progeny too we hear! Lillibet is getting the hang of stealing the plug cover, but Jamie, who went to Ireland in December, is a bath plug stealer too! When Jaz & Jamie lived here they used to spend alot of time in the shower tray and have obviously carried this behaviour on to their new home. It is so funny to think that these little traits carry on over the course of Devon Rex history. This must be in the genes, along with the tearing tissue gene, chatty gene, door balancing gene and the perpetually starving gene! Speaking of which... It is snack time at Maystar Devon Rex and I am off to get my treat ball out of the cupboard... well if they forget to put on the child lock, I may as well help myself! KS ^ EVERYONE HAS A VALENTINE As you know I am a big ORB Worshiper and yet over the last few weeks there has been nothing but Orb Cover and some damp white fluffy stuff. Yesterday, I saw a wonderful Orb Rise and wondered if it may continue? It didn't the damp white stuff proliferated our world again. So, I ask what to Worship next? I am waiting and waiting here by the kitchen window and it feels I should be worshiping Orb Cover instead of the Orb it's self! In all of this, waiting, I am constantly being harassed by two mad women that follow me around like some crazy fans after their Pop Idol. It is both annoying and bothersome when occasionally Faith takes to 'sitting on me head'. I have tried to bite her bum, but she goes into a frenzy of rolling and chirruping. I just can't win. Now up until yesterday, I had been a bit poorly (but that is another story) and I had told Momma 'I am fed up with these women sitting on my head". So she made a special extra large paper Icon of me so that Faith & Lillibet could throw themselves at my feet and worship me and sit on me without me even having to be there, leaving me to do more important things like check out the kitchen sides for a missed morsel. After the week I have had, there is no way I am missing a meal again. YAWP! So that was that and it worked I tell you, they came, they saw they worshiped and I could watch from a safe distance and not even be involved. I quite like my new image with the bright green eyes and yesterday we had a little chat about the weather. He doesn't say much this papery fellow, but he sure is taking the heat of the real King Slinky. Now to see about finding me a valentine for today.... after all this shunning of women there is only Mr.Zeus left. Oh Mr. Zeus, do you fancy a little tete-a-tete over a few shrimps and a beer? KS =^..^= KUNG HEI FAT CHOY In our home we like to follow some Chinese beliefs. One of these is the Chinese New Year and all that it brings. This year is the Luna Year of the Snake and one that will bring great fortune and allowing to rid ourselves of old skin and have a fresh start. So, I was wondering after our traditional lucky chicken lunch, what animals we represent in the Chinese Zodiac. Faith is a Rabbit. Everyone likes to be around a rabbit, they are affectionate, obliging, and pleasant. However, can get too sentimental and sometimes seem too delicate. They keep out of disputes, even if they have to turn a blind eye and walk away. Well it says it all really, this is faith down to a T! Lillibet was born in th eYear of the dragon. Dragons are full of vitality and enthusiasm, Dragons are popular individuals, despite being seen as foolhardy or crazy at times. They are intelligent, gifted perfectionists that are demanding of others. Dragons enjoy attracting attention. To Dragons, rules and regulations are made only for others. You see, this is Lillibet too. Mr.Zeus in an Ox and at times can be chauvinistic and demanding. In fact, the strength of an Ox comes out in great shows of determination, obstinance and defense for what they believe in. Although they enjoy their private life and doing things on their own. Well I couldn't have put him better myself! Now there is ManSlave, he is a Lion in the Zodiac and a Tiger in the Chinese Zodiac, so a double dose of feline integrity. Tigers are sensitive, emotional and capable of great love. They are extremely competitive, especially when it boils down to honor or protecting the ones they love. They need independence but love to dominate and make great natural leaders. This is very true of ManSlave and of course he is the head of our little Pride So what of Momma and me? Well we are a pair of pigs and together we make splendid companions. We are intellectuals with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out. We are sincere, tolerant, and honest. By expecting the same from others, we are incredibly naive and sometimes taken advantage of. Regardless, we seldom hold a grudge. Pigs are exceptionally funny and good-humoured and will overlook other people's faults for the sake of social harmony. We love our homes and spend most of our time and energy indulging ourselves with the best of everything. Well, just to quote 'Mary Poppins' We are practically perfect in every way! KS =^..^= HISSY FIT! Where has our sweet Faith gone? She is yelling her head off again for a boyfriend and Mr.Zeus is run ragged chasing the local Tom cats from our door. He is prowling about the CatPod, in the snow, defending his territory - Flick Flack goes the cat flap every few minutes and a grumbling Mr.Zeus runs to the front window to see the Tom in his tux make a dash for the hedge! Faith surprised everyone this morning with a noise as unfamiliar to us and it is to her... She hissed at Lillibet! When she did the snakelike noise, she jumped around to see who had made it. Lillibet was taken aback and looked very worried that her Mother had scalded her for just being in the way. Faith then proceeded to trot about the house looking for the noise, stalking and belly scraped to the floor in total fear. I thought I had better intervene here and I must have surprised her because she hissed again and then Thwakked me because I hissed at her. When she hissed at me she still seemed surprised at the noise. She had been growling before the hiss came out and she has always growled since she visited Chester to be mated. I swear she hissed at him a few times! But needless to say, this girl is turning into a grumble puss when she is calling, but only where her Daughter is concerned. And then as if by magic, she has forgotten all of the grumbling and hissing and the two of them are found play fighting on the landing? Girl cats man, I just don't get them! ::Shakes head:: I am an expert at hissing, I do it all the time, Some of you thought I was a Thwakker, well, I don't actually make contact with any one, I am an Air Thwakker! But I do like a good hiss. It never seems to do any good but I am very good at it! TomFun used to make me hiss every day, he was so busy jumping around me that the odd hiss was good for his manners. But Faith can really push me too far at times and I just have to tell her how I feel. So, I open my mouth and say it like it is and she just rolls over in front of me, belly up and squirming away. Such a tart. I have never hissed at the Parentals, that really is a no no, but some one who did a lot of hissing at the Parentals was Mr.Zeus... Oh boy, when he first arrived he hissed and hissed and did the spitting thing and used his claws too. He is a good boy now and certainly doesn't hiss at any one - he is too mellow now! Although, I did corner him this morning and he got his head stuck in the table lamp, he did hiss a bit then, because the radio had also fallen over and the areal was sticking in his bum! He doesn't half get in a mess if you press his buttons! I skipped away on three legs and tail held high, whilst stuffing the free paw into my mouth to stop the snigger that was about to escape! Momma rescued him from his clumsy ways. So, from our snake like mannerisms that could set fear into the hearts of Elephants, it's all just bravardo and territory warfare between the women folk. I will leave them all to it and just make it known that hissing is for Top Cats only and any one wants to challenge me will be air Thwakked and chased into lamps until they back off and leave me be. I may even give a hiss for good measure! KS =^..^= PLAYING FOOTSIE Momma has never seen another cat do this thing that Faith does, she runs in a 'pacing gait' and moves her two legs on one side of her body then the other two legs on the other side - at the same time! For the past year we have called her 'spot the dog!' as it is more synonymous with Spot, camels and giraffes. But looking into this gait in more detail, cats are the only other animal to do this naturally, bar the odd track horse that is hobbled to run that way! It became more noticeable when Momma saw Lillibet do it too and we wondered if it was a family trait. You see, cats 'walk this way' when being careful, but Momma didn't know they 'ran' this way too! It is the funniest thing to watch as the pair of them do 'Spot the Dog' at high speeds across the laminate. Lillibet has to be one of the cutest little beasts and I quite like her really. She is sweet natured and very loving. I love it when she spends hours washing her feet and paws. Out of all of us, she has the cleanest feet ever. She also has the very cleanest ears too, only because I spend lots of time getting a free snack every time I wash them for her! So from clean feet to clean worktops - well we all know this is the big Parental dream to have clean worktops but in reality, this is impossible to achieve. We have 'our own' end to sit on, but I am a bad kitty and constantly race across the worktops when the Parentals are not looking. I don't care if I have just visited the cat tray or been out in the CatPod and of course generally get my paws grubby doing all sorts of dirty jobs. It is a constant battle of spray, wipe 'GET OFF'. Spray, wipe 'OH SLINKY'. Spray, wipe 'RIGHT OUT'. It will never stop, neither will I or any other Feline in the world. We love contaminating our humans and they love contaminating us! KS =^..^= A STAR IS BORN Here is another Sunday and this Sunday is special because our Kiss-Mouse tree was put up and decorated. It's not something we are allowed to participate in and it becomes a watching party of eyes. Zeus and I sit poised, high up for a good look at the top of the tree and egg each other on and dare to see who might make it up there this year. Mr.Zeus said that he 'didn't want to be the Fairy this year' so we will have to wait and see who or what will have special pride of place. Well there we are, us wise ones, just waiting when along comes James and totally ignores our shouts of 'No. Not yet!' he just piled in and chose himself the biggest star in the Christmas box. We all sigh. 'We will never get to see Faith dressed in a tu tu now.' We were both looking forward to seeing her dressed in a little pink chiffon ensemble waving her magic wand and granting our wishes... but instead James holds up the shiny star to Momma and Momma takes him in her arms and kisses him and tells him how cleaver he is and lifts him high into the tree to place the star on top. GAH. The MiniCats have even taken over Christmas it's just not right, there is an order and THAT IS NOT IT! But reflecting on the little mans performance - why didn't I think of that? =^..^= |
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