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YOUR HIPS DON'T LIE

31/3/2015

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I don't really suffer afflictions much, well, besides my sore skin, my allergies, dodgy bum, dicky ticker & yawping for no reason. I mean afflictions like being overly stressed, well, apart from food and being ignored. OK, I am not setting a good image here, I am not explaining myself well at all. Mmmm. Well, since I had my pompoms cut off, i don't suffer those kind of afflictions lets say! Not like our poor little Gracie, who at 5, 6 and now 7 months has called like some dirty wee beastie.  She knows all the words and the moves to Shakira and 'Hips don't lie' she is yelling at the top of her voice "Mira en Coventry se baila asi"
Seriously, at 3am 'mi casa' is not 'su casa' let me tell you!!!

Momma thinks she has a solution? Homeopathic pills. I take mine every other week for the old cat bugs stuff, but she is trying some anti yelling pills that are made out of watered down ovary innards or something equally disgusting on Gracie. I am not entirely sure how it all works to be fair, only that these little sugar coated drops taste quite good and I like mine, I also like any others the CatWomen spit out too. I shall turn diabetic next, you watch! Gracie has done well on them this month and each time she yells and her mouth is open for the world to see her tonsils, Momma throws in a pill to shut her up. That and a small dose of piriton before bedtime, makes her sleepy. Means I don't need ear plugs all night as it's my ear she is yelling in then!

Lillibet also has special pills, but she is the only cat that gets to choose hers, unfair I say, how come she gets special treatment? Oh, that's right, she is special. Lillibet gets to sniff both pills and only takes the ones she wants, sometimes both. They are for slightly different things - in a nutshell, one for loose screws and one for green eyed monsters!  Her pills are instead of visiting the vets over and over.  Momma figures that trying her on hillbilly and calamity pills first, is a better chance at curing this derangement in her head, more so than an MRI scan. All her flicking and jumping is stress triggered and is a learned behaviour and Momma will try anything to help her feel normal. It's either that or some hefty drugs from the vets to cure anxiety... I say pawn Gracie and all her anxieties would diminish, except they were here well before Gracie appeared on the scene, but we would be richer!

Whilst Faith is expecting babies, she gets these sugar pills too. There is one for stretching her insides to make them more boingy for kittens to travel down the tubes and stuff and another to stop bruising and another to bring milk in and another to stop milk and another for stopping the three stages of mastitis and another for... well, you get the picture! Faith used to be very good at having pills, but she now fusses and fights Momma, well, shakes her head from side to side and then shouts NO! This is her demise, in slip the little pills. But Faith is smart and she can squirrel pills in the side of her lips like a chipmunk and decant them into a dark place. No where is safe from me.. I ALWAYS find them ALL! Apparently, these pills only have to touch our mucus membranes for a few seconds and the job is done! Phew, thank goodness for that, as you only have Homeopathics for an affliction and stop once it shows signs of abating... Last thing I need right now is a dose mastitis followed by a dose of the hillbillies whilst singing Shakira, J1 might get some funny ideas about me!!!

KS =^..^=

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BLOG COMMENT:-
I love that little "chocolate drop!" How'd she get to be top cat?  Surely.. you are now back on top, KS!! Dude, you crack me up... "THWAKKED those little biatches..." MOL!
Bonny , Philadelphia 

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