IN DEPTH LOOK AT LICKERS!
If us Felines had full cheeks like you humans, we could just suck up what was given to us on a plate. But no, law dictates that we have to work harder in life and 'sucking up' in never a thing for a cat to work hard at. You see, scientists thought that we lapped our milk like a dog (as if we would even be like a dog?) but no, we don't scoop, we sup! We perform a maneuver so fast that you slow poke humans cannot even see it with your naked eyes. We extend our lickers into our milky whilst curling the tip backwards, so that only the spiky side makes delicious contact. We are so talented in the muscular hydrostat department that without even breaking the surface of our milky substance, we retract our lickers and pull the milky that adheres to the tip, upwards into our awaiting mouths in singular vertical column. When we finally finish our drink and successfully supped, whilst keeping our whiskers dry, we look like the cat that has got the cream!
Lickers are also used as an affectionate tool, rasping away our humans skin, to get skin deep, so to speak. This is a big show of affection to us Felines and never to be taken lightly. We like to watch you wince and squirm beneath our sandpaper kisses. We go on and on until you relent and try and stop us pounding away at the same spot, almost tasting you to the point of edibleness. You think it's love, we are opting for a free meal!
Lickers can be dangerous to our health when we sleep. We can loose valuable heat through a licker that is left carelessly danging out of the mouth. It evaporates all of our lickness and can leave a very dry and uncomfortable piece of parchment in ones mouth. This should always be noted by humans that instead of rushing for the camera, it would be nice to be woken up and not left to dehydrate!
Lickers, are of course, used in the removal of sticky items mainly from the 'rear'. It is certainly not ideal having to use the one thing in your body that is attached to the taste buds and I am sure most Felines would rather just brush their tail over such matters but alas, we are not so lucky. So, to make sure that all everyone knows it a nasty business, we make sure that humans are brought up to speed by demonstrating it in front of their guests when they visit. The owner no longer sees the distaste on your face, so we like to see it in theirs! Many a human friend has been won and lost by our charms 'on the dinner table' and I say, good riddance to those that can't hack it!
Lickers are formidable when it comes to cleaning and washing. We spend hours a day grooming and preening our perfect coats, well maybe not me, I have but a few hairs! We make it all damp and delicious in all the right places. Hours we spend laying down those cow licks and whols only for you humans to place your smelly dirty contaminated hands on us and say, "eww tiddles, you are all damp." OMC! There you are, our lickers are exhausted after hours of hair placement only to be ruined in a flash by a careless human. What do we have to show for it - sore licker muscles and a coat in a disarray. Talk to the paw!