Last Sunday, Miss Boucles came over and I had been racing about in and out of the Sky Bridge and must have caught her on something as the top was ripped off. Momma doused me in stuff that dried her out quick smart! But still she tickled and jibed at me. So on Friday, I bit her off! I looked like a vampire cat, blood dripping from all over. She had driven me to it with her taunting!
Momma rang the vets and I was booked in with in the hour for a check and maybe a tie off? But Gertrude was reluctant to hang about and persuaded Simon to slice her off and send her for analysis. This is not good. I can hear, cut and still awake and stitches and stitches mean NEEGULS! YAWP! And boy did I Yawp when they stuck me with the anesthetic, that stuff stings like crazy. I tried to be good. Tried to sit still whilst Simon did his bit and sliced that monstrosity out of my life and into a test tube.
I wooed the staff there and was wearing my diamante velvet collar. I am the dude you know. I traveled home on Momma's knee, looking out of the window and shouting at passers by. Then I leapt out of the car before Momma could catch me, she is a bit slow these days after her op, and I waited on the door mat to be let in. Then I ponced through the house and yelled for the CatWomen to come and kiss me and ask questions. Faith said I looked very handsome and macho now Gertrude was gone. See, I thought she was cramping my style. Lillibet thought it looked like a spider and Thwakked me right on the stitches!
Then I wanted feeding and nursing. Nursing. Pffft, that's for pansies, I was off, racing about, testing out my new bits attached. Momma just cringed. ManSlave was also cringing at the dent in his wallet. Oops. Divorce is not cheap! Then, it hit me. allergy! My eyes began to swell and my sniffer grew fat and I began to sneeze. I scratched at it and washed my eyes. Momma was on hand to nurse me then. My little body was all puffy and hot. I was put to bed and monitored. Fluids up, i got chicken soup. Mmm. Momma bathed my eyes and put horrid cream in them, but after the horrid bit, it felt nice and cooling. I spent all day yesterday in bed and only surfaced at meal times but I had lost my YAWP! It was gone. I opened my mouth and a rasp came out. Then it hurt to eat my dinner, so Momma put a little hot water over my kibble so i could drink it. By teatime I was all OK again and ready to take on the pigeons in the garden and watch ManSlave paint the faciers outside.
See, women of any sort turn your life upside down and cost you money!